Summer Time
by ryanforever
Summary: This all takes place a few years after the end of Season 4. Summer is divorced from Seth. She and Ryan share an apartment in New York. Be warned - Not for Seth and Taylor lovers.
1. Chapter 1

11

_A/N: I know that it's been a while but I've started something new. For those of you that have read my stories before, I should warn you that it's a little different. But I still hope that you enjoy it._

I was still shaking as I opened the door to walk into my bedroom. This room that now seemed both like home and unfamiliar at the same time. I'd spent so much time here during my childhood that it would always feel like home. But now that I'd spent the last few years away at college and working for GEORGE, it seemed almost like someone else's. Right now I needed it to be the sanctuary that it had provided me through those teenage years. More than ever, I needed it to help me keep the feelings at bay.

I placed my bag down and sat on the side of the bed, taking deep breaths and trying to get my racing heart to slow down.

I hadn't expected to see him and now that I had … everything had come back to me … in technicolor!

Nothing had changed. The feelings hadn't dimmed at all. If anything, they were stronger than ever.

I was in BIG trouble.

--

I don't know when it started.

Who am I kidding? I know exactly when it started. It started the first time I laid eyes on him.

I could still recall entering the fashion show fundraiser with Marissa and gazing across the pool. There he stood. Even from that distance, it was obvious that he was different; different from all of the spoiled rich kids that I'd grown up with.

Besides being gorgeous, he had this inner strength that emanated from him, as well as an 'I don't give a fuck what you think of me' vibe, and I knew right then and there that I wanted him.

But the immature teenager that I was hadn't appealed to him at all. He'd brushed off my advances nonchalantly, making me feel like some kind of wayward skank. I'd pretended to be drunker than I was, using it as an excuse to come on to him. But once I knew that my interest wasn't reciprocated, I'd happily taken to ridiculing him and his background as my defense from his indifference. He was only interested in my best friend and I would never admit how much it hurt to be rejected.

I'd gotten over it. I was young, immature and I knew nothing about love, sex or relationships. My father's messed up love life was the only thing that I had to go by, and that wasn't exactly a great example.

Looking back, I think it was Ryan's disinterest that made me even consider Cohen in the first place. At least it was obvious that he liked me. I was rude and mean to him and yet he kept coming back. I was hoping that maybe I'd be able to make Chino jealous. but he took no notice of it. He was too fixated on Marissa. It was like he needed someone to rescue … and I could look after myself.

It was all pointless and so I'd gotten involved with Seth. Maybe some part of me figured that hanging around with him and being part of the Core Four was better than having nothing to do with him at all.

And over time, I'd convinced myself that the initial attraction that I'd felt for him was misplaced. Sure, he was hot (and caring, and loyal, and …), BUT he didn't like me, not in that way at least. I had much too much pride to force the issue. Besides, he was much too complicated; too much baggage. I was much better off with Seth. He was funny. He put up with my moods. He loved me. And I … I … sort of loved him back. Not that I really knew what love was back then.

But I cared for him.

Or at least I did for a while.

But that was all over now. I was finally free. And here I was back in Newport for a few days and who should I run into but HIM.

He didn't even live here anymore. The Cohen's lived in Berkeley. I hadn't been prepared to see him again. Then he'd suggested that we go to the diner for dinner to 'catch up'. What did that even mean?

I fell back on my bed, rubbing my hand on my brow at the headache that had just surfaced. What the hell was I going to do?

I thought back over the meeting.

I was in Newport for the weekend, en route from New York to San Diego for work. I'd planned to spend some time with my father because he had been complaining that he never saw me, but of course his pager had gone off over the leisurely breakfast that we'd been enjoying and he'd been called in to the hospital.

With free time on my hands, I'd wondered what to do. Purely by coincidence (I really hadn't planned it, or at least I wasn't going to admit to it), it was the anniversary of Marissa's death. I'd intended to call Julie but with nothing to do, I decided to pick up some flowers and make a visit to the cemetery myself.

I still missed Marissa. For all her screwed up ways, she was still the best friend I ever had. Maybe I could have done more to help her. I don't know how, but still … maybe there was something more that I could have done. Looking back, I knew that I really hadn't done enough. I'd been too consumed by my relationship with Seth and trying to make it work. Even then it took effort. And look how that had turned out. If I could do it all over again, I would have dumped Cohen and spent more time with Marissa. But hindsight was a waste of time.

I was just parking the car at the cemetery when I noticed him walking towards a car off to my right. I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should stay where I was. He hadn't seen me and as long as I didn't move, then maybe I could stay hidden until after he left.

I could feel my heart racing. I wasn't sure whether it was because I was attempting to remain hidden or because he was still damned good looking. It was probably a little of both, I thought, as I watched him from the car. It had been just over a year since I'd last seen him, but if anything he'd gotten even better looking. How was that possible?

Putting my head down as he neared his car, I was certain that he wouldn't notice me. That was until the car in front of me backed into my dad's fender. I jumped at the impact, small though it was. The elderly driver of the other car instantly got out to apologize, and Ryan came over to see if he could be of any help (just like him – always trying to help – why couldn't he just ignore it and go on his way like most other people would?). So much for remaining incognito. He opened the car door.

"Are you O … Summer? What are you doing …." he asked, obviously surprised.

"The same thing as you, I suspect," I replied, picking up the flowers from the front seat and getting out of the car.

"Are you okay?" the driver of the other car asked concernedly.

"I'm fine. How's my Dad's car?"

"Barely a scratch," Ryan commented. "The bumper took most of the impact."

I moved to the front of the car to inspect the damage, but it was hardly noticeable.

"If you'd like me to get my insurance details …" the elderly gentleman started, his voice full of concern.

"There's really no need," I assured him. "It's fine. A shopping cart does more damage."

"And she's speaking from experience," Ryan assured the grey haired man.

I turned to Ryan. "How would you know?"

"By the law of averages. Given the number of shopping centers that you've been in, it stands to reason that you must have come across a cart or two."

I wanted to deny it but how could I? He knewme.

"You're right," I admitted, then turned to the other driver. "It's fine, really."

He looked relieved and said, "If you're sure?"

I nodded.

"Okay. Then I'll be on my way," he said moving back to his car. "I'm really sorry."

I smiled as he repositioned his car, moving off slowly. Then summoning my confidence, I turned back to Ryan.

"So Atwood, what are you doing here?"

Ryan smirked at the use of his surname.

"I think we've already established that, Roberts. Or is it still Cohen?"

"No. I got rid of that as soon as I got rid of him," I explained. "I know it sounds harsh, but it was part of the cleansing process."

Ryan nodded his understanding. Seth was his brother but Ryan, probably more than anyone, would understand why I'd had to divorce him.

"So what are you doing in Newport?" he asked.

"I think that question would be better directed at you. I still live here," I point out.

He frowned momentarily and I had this sudden urge to ease the creases from his forehead, but I managed to control myself.

"You do?" he asked, perplexed.

"Well … not really. Dad still lives here. Sometimes, I'm on the road for three weeks out of every month, so this still seems like home. I'm just here for the weekend on my way to San Diego. What about you?"

Ryan hesitated. I could tell that he was looking for the short version. He was never one to be generous with words.

"I'm on my way to the east coast to start a new job, and I promised Jake that I'd stop and see him, since I don't know when I'll be back."

"And it just happened to be on the anniversary of Marissa's death?" I asked quietly.

He shrugged. "It didn't hurt," he said softly.

My heart constricted as I watched the fleeting glimpses of pain that appeared on his face. He still missed her. If only Seth had loved me the way that Ryan loved Marissa. He tried over and over again to make her happy, but it was never enough. I couldn't help but compare it to my relationship with Seth. I'd tried over and over again to make Seth happy, but he just kept hurting me and finally I couldn't take it anymore.

I nod, not really sure what I'm agreeing with. Maybe just to accept his answer and not push any further.

He sighed then swiftly switched topics.

"So what are you doing later? I promised Jake that I'd spend the afternoon with him, but maybe tonight we could go to the diner and get something to eat? You know – catch up?" he suggested then went on to explain. "Julie has some Newpsie dinner tonight. If I don't come up with a good excuse, then she's expecting me to join her."

I can't help but chuckle at the look of desperation on his face.

"Well … after an invitation like that, how could I possibly say no?"

He looked ashamed.

"I didn't mean it like that. Really. It would be great to catch up PLUS I'd have the added bonus of being able to skip her party."

"Sure. I believe you. I'll have dinner with you. But you're paying."

He smiled one of those smiles that make his eyes sparkle and I could feel my heart do a flip flop.

"That, I can do," he promised.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I changed the summary of this story to warn off Seth and Taylor lovers. Neither of them come out of this well so it's probably best if their fans stop reading now. Although I don't think that the people that they have become is too big a stretch of the imagination. I've just taken some of their traits from canon and magnified them._

--

I didn't want to analyse too deeply why I was looking forward to having dinner with Summer so much. Surely it was just the thought of not having to accompany Julie to her Newpsie dinner and instead, getting to spend time with a friendly face. A very attractive, friendly face. It wouldn't be difficult at all.

I was pleased that even though things between her and Seth had reached rock bottom, she had never changed the way that she acted towards me. I'd tried to keep out of it, but I couldn't help but be pleased that she had finally said enough is enough, and left Seth to try to stand on his own two feet. She'd covered for him for too long.

He would always be my brother. I knew that better than ever after everything that he'd put me through. If I wasn't related to him, then I would have left him to his own devices long ago. I'd tried to do what I could to help, but it was now up to him. In fact, getting away from Seth and his associated dramas was a big part of why I was heading to the other side of the country for work.

Much like Summer, I'd had enough. If I'd stayed in Berkeley, I would have ended up stuck in the middle between him and his parents. They were finally starting to see him for who he really was and I didn't want to be around to watch his fall from grace.

--

It had taken me too long to get ready. Not that I was late. I just shouldn't care so much what he thought about what I was wearing or even what I looked like. This was two old friends meeting up because fate had played us a hand and we both happened to have a free night in the same place.

So why were there butterflies in my stomach?

I pushed open the door of the diner and he was already there, sitting at 'our' favourite booth. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Would we be able to relax or would it feel like the two missing members of the group were somehow there with us? Would it feel like the ghosts of times past were haunting us? There wasn't much that I could do about it.

Ryan glanced up and smiled as I made my way over to him, slipping in on the opposite side. The side that was once for Cohen and me.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey to you too," I replied.

The grin on his face got bigger.

"I see that you still remembered the way here," he commented.

"Some things never change," I admitted. "You remembered which booth."

He shrugged.

"I guess you're right. Some things do never change."

He glanced around at the few occupied tables self-consciously and turning his attention back to me, he commented, "So … chilli cheese fries and a black and white milkshake?" he asked.

I nod. "A cheeseburger too. I'm starving," I explain, "And you're paying."

He laughed. "You don't need to remind me. I keep my promises."

"Unlike your brother," I commented. I hadn't meant to say it out loud. I didn't want to get into any discussion of Seth or what had happened. But it had just come out, like verbal diarrhoea.

Instantly he dropped his head as if he had something to be ashamed of. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's not your fault. None of it ever was. I just wish that I'd given up long ago and not wasted so much time and effort on him."

"He still loves you, you know?"

I didn't know what to say, so I took a minute to reply, trying to find the right words.

"I'm sure that in his own way, he does. But I don't love him. Maybe I never did. He destroyed what I felt for him with his lying and cheating. I lost count of how many times he promised me that he was going to change. It's like he's still some stupid kid that thinks that he can just apologize and that'll fix everything. But I'm an adult now and it doesn't work like that. Somewhere along the line, I grew up, but he didn't."

Ryan nodded. He didn't even try to defend Seth because there was nothing he could say. Seth was Seth, and until he decided to take responsibility for his own actions, then nothing would change.

"If it helps, I think that Sandy and Kirsten are finally starting to see why you had to leave."

"So he's still being an ass? I'd hoped that my divorcing him might have been the trigger to him finally waking up, but I guess not. I'm just glad that I'm finally free of him."

Ryan went to reply, but the waitress came to take our orders.

Once she'd left, I looked back at Ryan and suggested, "How about we don't talk about Seth for the rest of the evening? I'm trying for Sethfree time whenever possible."

"I think that can be arranged. So tell me about San Diego. What are you saving down there?" he asked.

"I'll tell you about that, then you can tell me all about your new job. Where is it? I can't believe that you're leaving the Cohen's. You didn't go away to college or grad school, so I thought that you'd be a California boy forever."

"Yeah … well … I probably thought so too. But …" he shrugged. "Things with …" he hesitated, "that person that we're not talking about …"

I smiled. Seth was so woven into everything that we had in common that he was bound to come up in conversation.

Ryan went on, content that referencing Seth was not going to bring on a rage blackout from me.

"Things were getting a little awkward. I sort of felt like I was constantly being asked to choose sides. And there was no way that I could keep the peace without betraying someone. Unfortunately, I think they are headed for a major blowup. So, when this opportunity came up in New York, I decided that it was a good time to go and check out what the East Coast has to offer."

"New York? You're going to be living in New York? In Manhattan?" I asked, excited by the news.

"I'm going to be working in downtown Manhattan. Whether I'm living there, or commuting from New Jersey or somewhere else, I haven't decided yet. I've heard that finding an apartment can be really hard. And expensive. I'm still trying to pay the Cohen's back for college, so I'm hoping to find something that doesn't break the bank."

"I doubt the Cohen's expect to be paid back," I point out.

"I know. They keep saying that. But it's something that I need to do. Plus it will get Seth off my back."

"Why is Seth on your back?" I ask, perplexed.

"Let's just say that Seth isn't too happy with the allowance that his parents are giving him. They want him to go back and finish college, so they're making things difficult for him. I think that at this point, they'd even be happy if he went a got a decent job of some sort. But you know Seth … that's not likely to happen. And good quality pot doesn't come cheap. He likes to remind me privately that I am indebted to HIS family."

I could see how guilty Ryan felt about that and it just made me even angrier at Seth.

"They're your family too! I swear … I haven't had a rage blackout since I left him but if he was to walk through that door right now …"

"You'd do nothing," Ryan said, cutting me off. "This is between him and me; or, me and his parents. Whatever the case, I'll feel better when it's all paid back."

"Well … I can help with that," I find myself suggesting.

Ryan frowned. "I'm not taking money from you."

"And I'm not offering you any. But I do have a loft apartment in Soho that's empty most of the time," I explain.

"You what? I thought that you were based in LA," he said.

"I was, before the divorce. But I decided that I was still too close to Cohen. The last thing I wanted was to run into him somewhere. So I transferred to the New York office. Of course, Daddy wouldn't hear of me not having somewhere nice to live, and so he bought the apartment from a colleague of his that was moving out here. It worked out really well."

"I had no idea," Ryan said, obviously surprised.

"I'm sorry that I haven't kept in touch. It just seemed better to …" I start to explain guiltily, knowing that after the divorce, I just wanted to put all things Cohen behind me.

"Don't worry about it. It's my fault, too. Although, in my defense, I did check with Julie, and she told me you were doing okay, but she never mentioned that you'd moved."

I was touched that he'd taken the time to check up on me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. If anything, getting rid of Seth gave me a new lease on life."

"I can see that. You seem happy. And I'm happy that you're happy," he comments and I can tell that he means it. But then again, he usually means what he says. Not like Cohen. I'd spent so much time trying to figure out when Seth was telling the truth and when he was lying that being able to accept what was said at face value was quite a novelty for me.

"I am. I'm busy and I feel like I'm making a difference," I explain.

"So what are you saving these days?" he asks, an indulgent grin on his face.

"I've actually progressed. I'm not stirring up the protestors anymore. I'm off to San Diego on Monday to hold some discussions with the people at Seaworld about a new dolphin breeding program. It's actually quite exciting."

"It sounds like it. I'm proud of you," he says and I'm surprised by the sudden swelling of my heart. Who'd have thought that it would mean so much to me, to have him say those words?

"Thanks," I reply meekly and am saved from commenting further by the arrival of waitress with our food.

We both attack it with gusto, laughing at the inelegant sight that we must have made, but enjoying it just the same.

When I'd quelled the hunger pains, I brought up what was on my mind.

"But back to New York. You have to stay with me. It'll be great."

Ryan stared at me for a moment and I almost lost myself in the blue depths of his eyes.

He gently shook his head.

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't think so."

"Why not? The apartment is huge. It's a little sparsely furnished right now, but that's because I'm rarely there. But you may as well make use of it."

"I can't Summer. If Seth found out that I was …"

"Forget about Seth. I have."

"I'm afraid it's not that easy for me," he says and I can see how troubled he feels. I'm only making it worse, without meaning to.

"At least use it until you find something else. I won't even be there and Seth doesn't need to know," I point out.

I can see that he's carefully considering my suggestion.

"I'll think about it."

"Okay. I can live with that," I agree, deciding to not push him any further right now. "How about a walk on the pier? Balboa Bars? I'll buy."

"Sounds good."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Things start to get interesting__ from here._

_-- _

Sitting beside the pool Sunday morning, having breakfast with my father, I couldn't help but feel a little guilty. After our breakfast being interrupted the previous day by my father's pager, now it was me that was going to have to cut short our time together.

"I'm sorry, Dad. But it's such a beautiful day. When Ryan called and said that he's taking Jake to the beach and asked me to join them, it seemed like a pity not to make the most of it," I attempt to explain.

I thought of adding that the thought of a shirtless Ryan was more than I could possibly say no to, but decided against it. Dad and I were close, but he didn't need to know that sort of detail.

"I understand. You don't get many opportunities to have fun, so you should make the most of it. I gather that you had a good time last night. You weren't home until late," he stated almost rhetorically, but I could see that he was fishing for details.

I knew that he still worried about me. He'd probably even sat up late last night waiting for me. Ever since the divorce, he'd been pushing me to get out and enjoy myself more, to liven up my nonexistent social life.

"We did have a good time. It was great seeing him again. Even better because it was without Cohen. He always managed to turn any conversation around, so that it was about him. But with Ryan …"

Looking back on the evening, I realised that even though we didn't actually DO anything, it was the best night I'd had in a long time.

"After our meal, we ended up sitting on one of those seats down at the end of the pier. Eating ice cream and just talking. We completely lost track of time," I explained. "Everyone always used to complain that Ryan didn't talk much, but I think that maybe it was more that Seth always drowned him out. Certainly the guy that I was with last night was more than able to keep up his side of the conversation."

"I'm glad that you had a good time. Ryan always seemed like a good friend."

"He is," I reply softly, overcome with memories both of last night and the past. There's no doubt in my mind that he's the best kind of friend.

"More than a friend?" Dad asked hopefully. He'd wanted me to move on from Seth for so long now. Who was I kidding? He'd never been a Seth fan in the first place, but had eventually come to accept him for my sake. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't.

"It's nothing like that. He's still getting over what Taylor did to him and I'm in no hurry to find a replacement for Seth."

"Perhaps. But Ryan's nothing like Seth," he pointed out.

"True. But I still think that we're both better off on our own," I reply.

Dad doesn't need to know that even if I could be tempted, that Ryan has never shown that sort of interest in me. Worse, he'd actually turned me down. I never wanted to feel that sort of humiliation again.

"No man is an island," Dad said softly.

I looked at him sadly. I knew that he was lonely, too. I needed to try to get home more often.

"Very profound. But that doesn't just apply to me. What's happening with your love life?"

I knew that if nothing else, turning the conversation back on to him would take the heat off me.

"Very little. But I think that for once in my life, I'm okay with that. Julie and I still keep in touch and we try to have a meal together every now and then. She has her hands pretty full with Jake. And with work being so busy … that's enough for me. Speaking of which, I assume that Ryan's staying with her?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Why don't you see if they'd all like to come over here for dinner this evening? I need to see Julie anyhow. We have a few things that we need to discuss about a fund raiser that she's organizing for the hospital. I could throw a few steaks on the grill and you could rustle up a salad. At least then I know that I'd get to see you before you head off in the morning. Otherwise you might end up out with Ryan again."

I grin, knowing that he's teasing me.

"Sounds like a great idea."

"You didn't explain what he's actually doing in Newport."

"He's here for the weekend to visit Jake, then he's off to New York to start a new job. I tried to get him to stay in the apartment, but he wasn't interested."

Dad looked at me, taking in everything but saying nothing. The silence was even more uncomfortable than if he had said something.

"I'm not lonely!" I state firmly.

"Me thinks thou protests too strongly," he said lightly, a teasing grin on his face.

"Okay. So, maybe just a little. It's hard after being married and sharing everything, to go back to being on your own. Much as I couldn't get rid of Cohen fast enough, I do miss having someone around. I know I'm not there much, but if Ryan had moved in, it would have been nice to have someone to come home to."

Even though I'd been living there for nearly a year, the apartment in New York still didn't feel like home. I needed the security of people I loved and that loved me to feel at home. Four square walls, no matter how attractive, just didn't do it for me.

"Why was Ryan not interested?" Dad asked.

"He didn't even really consider it. I think that he was concerned that it might upset Seth in some way, although I can't see why."

Dad looked at me for a moment. He was considering something, but his expression gave no hint to what it was.

"Why don't you go and call Julie about tonight? We'll both work on Ryan and see if we can get him to change his mind."

I immediately got up from the table to get the phone. Who would have ever thought that I'd have Dad on my side?

Ryan might be able to say no to me, but he hadn't yet faced the power of the combined Roberts' family.

--

I had to admit that I was uncomfortable.

Not with the people due to arrive any minute; they were family. It had everything to do with the case of sunburn that I was now enduring.

I was out of practice. My skin, that through my teenage years was a golden brown was now, through lack of exposure, a pale cream. Correction, it had been pale cream this morning before I went to the beach. Now, it was an ugly shade of pink, moving to red. I felt like I was on fire and every time I moved, my clothes rubbed and made things even more uncomfortable. I'd put on a loose fitting, floaty dress hoping that it would cover up most of it. But it was summer. It was hot. I'd applied bronzer hoping to cover the worst of it, but someone was bound to notice that I had completely forgotten about sunscreen. My dad or even Julie was likely to scold me in front of the others, and make me feel like an irresponsible kid.

The plan was to eat outside under the stars and the lights there weren't too bright. Maybe no one would see. Only time would tell if I'd get away with it.

--

Dinner was over. Jake, having excused himself earlier to watch TV, was now sound asleep on the couch.

The adults were left sitting around the table beside the pool and I caught my father's silent message with just a glance.

This was it. The time had come.

"So Ryan, Summer tells me that you're heading off to start a new career in New York."

"Yes, sir," Ryan replied respectfully.

"I think that we're a bit passed the 'sir' stage. Call me Neil."

"Yes, Mr. Roberts. I mean Neil," Ryan corrected himself, glancing at me.

I had no idea why he seemed so nervous. This was just my Dad. Seth must have made him out to be some kind of ogre.

"And you're going to be working in Manhattan?"

"Yes, Mr. Roberts. I mean Neil."

Ryan glanced at me again and I swear that even in the dull light I could see him blush a little.

"And you won't accept our hospitality and use the empty apartment?"

Ryan turned to me, surprised by the topic of conversation.

"It's not like that, sir. I mean, Mr. Roberts. I mean Neil."

I grinned. It was fun watching my Dad put him through his paces.

"Then what's it like? We have a perfectly good, if I do say so myself, rather large and luxurious apartment on Manhattan Island that would be convenient for your work. Thanks to my daughter's job, it's empty for most of the time. You'd be helping us out by staying there and keeping an eye on the place."

"But I …" Ryan started. He was obviously looking for excuses.

"But you …?" Dad prompted. "Couldn't see yourself helping us out?" he supplied the ending.

"No, nothing like that. I'm just worried…," Ryan tried again.

"Yes?" Dad prompted again.

"I'm just worried about what Seth would think," Ryan finally got out.

"I really don't care what Seth thinks after what he put my daughter through. And I would have thought that you'd feel the same. You know what he's like."

Ryan glanced at me for help but there was no way that I was going to intervene. I was on my Dad's side. I could see that he was weakening.

"Ryan, you're crazy. You'll never get an offer as good this again," Julie chirped in.

I could have kissed her.

"Well …" Ryan started, obviously on the brink of a big decision.

"Why not at least give it a shot? Try it for a month. If you don't like it, then you can always go out and find something else," Dad suggested.

"I can't live there permanently," Ryan stated firmly, "But I'll stay there until I can find something else, which I've heard, can take a while," Ryan said apologetically.

"The longer the better in my book," Dad replied.

I couldn't help but smile. But then I realized that I wasn't even going to be there. All of a sudden spending a lot of time on the road didn't seem quite so appealing. When I'd been with Seth, it was the best part of the job, being able to get away from him, to have some distance. But now…

"But I have to pay you market rent," Ryan stated firmly.

"I don't even know what market rent is. My daughter pays me nothing and I'll expect the same from you. How about you take over paying the utilities while you're there? Maybe you could also keep the refrigerator stocked for when Summer comes home. I've only been there once and she didn't even have any milk in the fridge," Neil said disgustedly.

"I don't drink milk!" I protested. "But there was plenty of cereal. I'm there so seldom that I don't buy food that's only going to go bad."

"So it's settled. I'll give Ryan the spare set of keys tonight before he leaves," Dad said, ignoring my comment and ending the topic of conversation before Ryan had a chance to change his mind.

Dad looked over at me and I could see that he was very pleased with himself.

"I don't know how to thank you," Ryan stated softly.

"Just looking after my daughter will be thanks enough. Get her to smile once in a while and I'll be forever indebted."

"Dad! I'm not that bad," I state firmly.

He grins at me.

"No you're not. How about some more coffee? I have milk in my fridge," he teased. "Julie and I still have a few things to discuss about the hospital fund raiser."

"Okay," I reply but as I rise from the table to get the coffee, the pain from the sunburn forces a small groan from my lips.

Everyone turned to look at me.

"What's wrong?" Dad asked with concern.

"I just spent a little too much time in the sun today. I'm feeling a little sore," I explain.

"I offered to put more sunscreen on you when I was re-applying some to Jake," Ryan reminded me.

"I know. I thought that I had enough on," I replied.

How could I tell him that I'd been secretly lusting after him? Had been for quite some time. When he'd offered me the sunscreen, I knew that I had to keep my distance. I swear that if he'd touched me at that point, I would have jumped him, then and there. Even now, I blushed just thinking about it.

Dad moved the dress gently from my shoulder, trying to assess the damage.

"You silly girl. You need to go and get the Aloe Vera that's in my bathroom and put some on, before you blister. Ryan, could you help her with that? She needs it all over her back. I know that Julie wants to get Jake home, but we need to discuss a few things first."

"I can manage," I state firmly. I'm scared of Ryan touching me and what my reaction will be.

"Unless you're able to disjoint your shoulders, you can't possibly reach the middle of your back," Dad pointed out.

Sometimes it wasn't so great having a doctor for a Dad. They thought they knew everything.

"Ryan, can you help?" Dad asked again. "I really don't want to hold Julie up any longer than I have to and if I have to go and attend to Summer, well …"

I noticed Ryan's Adam's Apple move in his throat.

"Sure," he said. But he sounded reluctant.

"Thanks," Dad said. "The Aloe Vera is on the top shelf. And get the spare keys for Ryan from the top drawer while you're there."

Ryan and I looked self consciously at one another. I felt like we were ten and being pushed together by our parents. I headed inside with Ryan close behind and I overheard Julie's question, the amusement clear in her voice.

"Just what are you up to, Neil Roberts?"

--

I got the Aloe Vera and the keys and handed them both to Ryan.

He slipped the keys in his pocket.

"The address is on the tag on the key ring. You should probably change that once you get there; otherwise, if you lose them, then someone could break in," I point out nervously.

My anxiousness had nothing to do with keys and everything to do with the thought of him touching me.

The only thing that made me feel a little better was the fact that he didn't seem any more relaxed than me.

"So where do you want to do this?" I ask and I'm met with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Maybe my bedroom would be best," I state, still unsure about this whole thing. Although I must admit that I'm quite looking forward to anything that might ease the discomfort. The external discomfort that is. I wasn't sure that there was anything that would calm the internal discomfort of my stomach churning nervously.

He nodded and followed me into my room.

I gently peeled the dress off and stood before him in my bra and underwear. At least I was already bright red, so he couldn't see me blush. But why was I even blushing? I wasn't wearing any less than when we'd been at the beach. But somehow this felt a lot more intimate.

"Where do you want me?" I asked, seeing the indecision on his face.

_How did I get here?_

_I was looking forward to a nice evening with friends and somehow …_

_I had agreed to stay in Summer's apartment in Manhattan, which I knew would send Seth into a tantrum at the very least and at worst destroy our friendship forever._

_And, after working hard all day to ignore Summer's undoubtedly fine 'assets' on the beach, I was now confronted by her in skimpy underwear and I was expected to rub my hands over her body._

_Then … she opens her mouth and asks, "Where do you want me?" _

_I was in deep shit. WAY over my head._


	4. Chapter 4

--

"Just what are you up to, Neil Roberts?" Julie asked curiously, her gaze narrowing as she tried to figure out her friend's plan.

"Who me?" Neil said, feigning innocence.

"Yes you," she reiterated.

"Don't you think that it's a good idea for Ryan to use the apartment? Summer's rarely there. What if one of the pipes burst or something? The place could be damaged beyond repair before we even knew about it."

"Uh huh," Julie replied, not buying it for a moment. "You have insurance to cover that kind of thing," she pointed out.

"But the time and trouble it takes finding contractors …"

"This has nothing to do with burst pipes and you know it."

Neil just smiled. He knew that Julie would see through him. They might not be together anymore, but they had a history. She could read him pretty well.

"I'm just trying to help Ryan out. I'm sure that rent in Manhattan is pretty steep," Neil commented, still trying to keep up the pretence. If she didn't believe his concern about the empty apartment, then maybe she'd buy the idea that he was thinking only of Ryan.

"I'm sure it is," Julie agreed. "And it's very nice of you to offer. But why do I think that this has more to do with Summer than it has to do with Ryan?" Julie asked.

"So," he shrugged, glancing back at the doorway, making sure that Ryan and Summer were long gone and couldn't overhear their conversation. "Is it a crime for a father to want to see his daughter happy?"

"Of course not. But Ryan and Summer?" Julie asked with disbelief.

"Why not? At least they're friends and she won't be so lonely anymore. Maybe nothing else will come of it, but you saw them. They enjoy one another's company. They have no secrets from one another. They both know one another's history. Hell … they are part of one another's history," Neil pointed out.

"Exactly! And he's Seth's brother. Or had you forgotten that?" the feisty redhead declared.

"Of course I hadn't forgotten. But from what I can gather, he's not exactly in a committed relationship either, or any kind of relationship. If they can find something together, then why not? I would have thought that you'd want to see Ryan happy."

"Of course I want to see Ryan happy. He deserves it more than anyone I know after everything he's been through. I can't tell you how guilty I feel when I think about the fact that I was one of the people that made life difficult for him when he came to Newport. I doubt that I'll ever be able to repay him for the things that he's done for me and my family. The way that he looked out for Marissa, the way that he's taken Caitlin under his wing since her death … and Jake couldn't ask for a better brother …"

"So you're saying that my daughter is not good enough for him?"

"No. Of course not. You know I love Summer. She's like my other daughter."

"So then… " Neil started, waiting for Julie to come up with a reasonable excuse.

"I don't know. I just don't want to see him hurt," Julie remarked simply. "I don't want to see either of them hurt," she stressed. "They've both been through more than enough. It's time they found some happiness."

Neil nodded. "I couldn't agree more. So, why not together?"

Julie glanced at the doorway that the couple in question had departed through only a short time ago.

"I guess. But you shouldn't push it. It will be good for both of them to have someone around to talk to. But anything else has to be their decision," Julie stated firmly.

"Of course. What did you think I was going to do? Chain him to her bed or something?"

Julie quirked her brow at the doctor.

"You did just send him off to apply lotion to her back. You weren't just pushing the envelope a little there?"

Neil smiled, mock ashamedly.

"Who me?" he asked.

The obviously feigned innocence had Julie laughing.

"Yes, you," she replied. "They could be doing anything up there in the bedroom."

Neil smiled.

"And would that be so bad? I don't know about Ryan, but I do know that it's been an awfully long time for Summer."

Julie nodded. "Ryan too. I think that he totally swore off women after Taylor's last episode."

"I don't know what happened there," Neil asked, his curiosity piqued. "Care to share the details?"

"I'm afraid that I don't have them. As you probably know, Ryan's not exactly a font of information when it comes to his love life. I get all my information from Caitlin. I think she knows at least some of what happened, but she's not telling. They have a close bond of trust and I wouldn't ask her to break it. It's too important to her. I suspect that he has the dirt on her too, so it works both ways. I trust Ryan. If my daughter has only one confidant in life, then I don't think that she could do much better. All she's said is that it's definitely over this time and that I am never to allow Taylor to set foot in our house again."

"As you know, Summer used to be good friends with the girl, but she gave me much the same instructions. Sounds like Taylor must have really done a number on him."

"Again," Julie added.

"I forgot it's happened before." Neil commented.

"He may look strong and tough, but I think that he's a marshmallow underneath for those that he loves. He's had to endure more hurt in his short life than any one person should have to cope with in their entire lifetime."

"It only makes him an even more remarkable young man."

"A young man that you'd like to see with your daughter?" Julie quizzed.

Neil shrugged.

"Why not? We'll just have to wait and see."

--

"Where do you want me?" I asked, seeing the indecision on his face.

He didn't react at all.

"Ryan? Where do you want to do it?" I pushed. I almost died of embarrassment as I realized what I had said and how it could be interpreted.

If only he'd open his mouth and say 'Up against the wall with your legs wrapped around me.'

But that was never going to happen.

I quickly turned away, not wanting to see the derision on his face.

"I'll just lie on the bed. Will that be okay?"

Ryan cleared his throat. He must have been getting a cold because he sounded a bit choked up.

"Sure. Whatever," he replied, sounding nonchalant.

Why was I finding this so difficult when it was obviously having no effect on him whatsoever?

I could hear him move beside my bed and I made sure to turn my head away from him. I didn't want him to see my face; I was sure it would give away what I was feeling and let him know just how much having him close was affecting me.

"This could be a little cold," he warned.

"Cold sounds good about now," I reply, "I'm burning up," I point out, knowing that the fire consuming me is not all from sunburn.

And then I feel the cool gel on the center of my back. And I wait with baited breath.

"I'll try to be gentle, but this still might hurt a bit," Ryan warned.

I really have to get my mind out of the gutter.

All I can think about is that if Ryan is indeed as well endowed as Taylor's told me, then he could be referring to something entirely different. Something that I'd almost forgotten what it's like, it's been so long.

I don't want to think of how long right now. It's only going to make things worse.

Surely that's the reason that I don't seem to be able to get the thought of sex out of my mind, because I'm so out of practice.

It has nothing to do with Ryan.

It's just that I have a healthy sex drive that hasn't seen the light of day for quite some time.

But right now, lying scantily clad on my bed, with Ryan about to run his hands over my body ….

I squeeze my legs together, scared that somehow he'll know what's going through my mind. And then he touches me ……………………..

--


	5. Chapter 5

--

Julie's eyes were on me in the car on the way back to her place, a curious look on her face. I was glad I was driving so that I could pretend to be concentrating on the road. Even so, I was acutely aware of her scrutiny. But the last thing that I wanted to do was to get into a discussion with her about what had transpired.

I was having enough trouble dealing with it on my own, and I was certain that she wouldn't be any help at all.

If anything, she'd only make it worse.

I pressed my foot down on the accelerator in an attempt to have the ride end sooner. I needed some time alone to go over in my own mind what had happened. Hopefully, I could figure out what was going on.

Of course I should have known that she wouldn't remain quiet. My luck wouldn't hold out that long.

"What time does your plane leave tomorrow?" she asked.

It sounded simple, but I knew that it was only a warm-up question. I'd spent enough time with Julie to know that she'd try to soften me up before she got to the point.

And I had a feeling that the point that she wanted to make was something I wasn't ready to deal with.

But I had to answer. I had no choice but to play this game. I couldn't ignore her. It would be rude, and we'd come too far in our relationship for me to risk it because of that.

"Eleven. But I'm meeting Summer at the airport at nine. We're going to have coffee together before she heads off to San Diego. She's going to give me the lowdown on the apartment."

Julie accepted that answer and paused before she moved on.

"It was very lucky that Neil owns an apartment right near where you'll be working," she said.

I know that we're getting closer to what she really wants to know.

"I guess. Although I'm still not too sure about staying there."

"Why not? It makes perfect sense to me. You'd be crazy not to take him up on his offer."

I hesitate. Why is it that I'm the only one that seems to be able to see the potential trouble ahead?

I could feel Julie watching me intently.

"What are you worried about?" she asks simply.

I glance at her from the corner of my eye, being careful to watch the road. She's a bright woman, and I'm sure that she already knows the answer.

"Are you scared that you won't get along with Summer?"

I take a deep breath in an attempt to get my emotions under control. After what I'd just been through in Summer's bedroom, what concerned me was that I would get along with Summer. Too well. I can't open my mouth for fear of revealing too much, so I stay quiet.

I try the 'look' that once worked so well for me when I didn't want to answer, but it didn't seem to work on Julie.

"She's a nice girl," Julie states as if she's giving her a reference.

"I know," I reply. That was never the problem. Or maybe that IS the problem.

She's very nice.

"Then what's the problem?"

I glance at her again and then turn my eyes back to the road.

Do I really need to answer that?

"She's Seth's ex-wife," I state simply. Surely that should explain everything.

"Exactly. E. X. EX. I don't think that you should hold that against her. It's not her fault that your brother turned into a pothead drop out somewhere along the way. The fact that she finally took the initiative and divorced him shows that she wasn't prepared to let him drag her down. She should be admired for taking back control of her life. It couldn't have been easy," Julie pointed out.

"I know that. And I think that it's great that she's moving on and doing something with her life. But that doesn't mean that Seth's over her. I can't imagine how he's going to react when he finds out that I'm sharing her apartment with her."

"Well, don't tell him," Julie suggests, making it sound like the simplest thing in the world.

"You know that I can't lie, even just to keep the peace. I suck at it," I remind her.

"You don't have to lie. You just don't need to give him all the details. Come on Ryan, if there's one thing that you are good at, it's being scarce with information. Just ask me how much I've gotten out of you about what happened with Taylor."

I tense up and can't help the scowl that forms instantly at just the mention of that name.

Julie notices my reaction.

"See what I mean," she declares. "Just tell the Cohen's that you've found an apartment to share in Soho. Who you're sharing it with doesn't need to come up in the conversation."

I consider what she says.

"But it's a lie of omission. Don't get me wrong, the idea of keeping it from them does appeal to me, because I'm not looking forward to their reaction. But I'm afraid that I'll slip up somewhere, somehow and they'll find out. And then it will be even worse than if I'd told them in the first place."

"But what's the point in telling them when you don't even know whether or not you're going to stay there? You could end up with a heap of drama for no reason. Neil said to give it a month and see how it goes. Why not keep it quiet until then? If you decide it's working out fine and you're going to stay, THEN you can think about telling them."

I'm still not sure it's a good idea, but it does seem like the easiest path at the moment, so I figure why not go for it.

"Okay. I'll wait until the end of the month."

I glance over and note Julie's smile.

"Happy now?" I ask, although the answer's written all over her face.

"Getting there. But there's something else," she says and I tense up, knowing that from the look on her face that whatever it is, I'm not going to like it.

"You know, Neil's been worried about Summer being lonely. Apparently she's had no social life at all since she split with Seth."

"I'm sure that's been Summer's choice and he should respect that. She'd have no problem finding a date if she wanted one."

"You think so?" Julie asked curiously.

I'm astounded by the hint of doubt in her voice.

"Of course. You only have to look at her to know that there'd be guys falling all over themselves to ask her out."

"But why? She's a divorced woman. It stands to reason that she'd be carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Guys probably don't want to take the risk that they might somehow get involved in it all."

"Guys would have no problem taking a risk when the girl's as hot as Summer," I can't help but point out.

"So you admit that she's hot," Julie says, looking very pleased with herself.

I feel like the fly that has just been caught in the spider's web.

And I know that the more that I struggle, the more trapped I'll get.

"Of course. You only have to look at her to know that," I reply, the defeat obvious in my tone.

Julie quirked her eyebrow at me. With no response, the implication was obvious.

"But she's Seth's ex-wife," I reiterate, both to Julie and myself. I need to keep that thought at the forefront of my mind.

"She's alone. You're alone …," Julie points out.

"So what are you saying?" I come out and ask. This verbal ping pong is getting old. Maybe getting right to the point will end it.

"I'm not saying anything. I just want you to keep an open mind. That's all."

"An open mind about what?"

"Just that at some point, she needs to move on emotionally. AND so do you. If it happened to be together …"

"Julie! That's not going to happen," I assure her, my anger rising.

"Okay. If that's the case, then maybe you can set her up with one of the guys from your office," Julie suggests, backing off in the face of my anger.

I recoil, feeling like I've been struck.

Why is it that that idea is even more distasteful to me?

--

When I finally got to bed that night, I couldn't help but replay the evening over in my head.

I'd had a long cold shower, but the more I thought about what had happened in Summer's bedroom, the more I thought that another cold shower might be in order.

It had been a long time since I got laid.

That's all it was.

That's why just recalling her lying on her bed, scantily clad, had me sporting wood. Again.

But this was Summer!

I couldn't, correction, shouldn't (because there was no doubt that I COULD) be thinking of her that way.

I could still remember each and every word that she'd said.

When she'd asked, "Where do you want me?" the ideas that came to mind had nothing to do with Aloe Vera and everything to do with quenching a burn that was simmering inside me.

I'd barely been able to reply. I was already in too deep.

Fortunately, when she'd lain down on her bed, she'd turned her head away from me. Otherwise, I would have been in all sorts of trouble. But her head being averted meant that I could use my left hand to clutch at my groin in an attempt to try to stay the stiffening that was occurring no matter how much I tried to stop it.

But it was all in vain as soon as I touched her.

Even though she was sunburnt, her skin was like silk. As gently as possible, I'd applied the cool lotion all over her back and it was a complete waste of time for me to try to keep my mind on anything but her.

'She's Seth's ex-wife' became my silent mantra, playing over and over in my head as my hands had tenderly ministered to her.

She'd stayed still, not saying a word, and for a moment I wondered if she'd fallen asleep. And then I noticed her legs clutched tightly together.

I still wondered why. Was she concerned that I might touch her inappropriately?

It bought me back to earth with a thud.

She was Summer. I couldn't do that.

Even if I was dying to run my hands over all those places that were covered with fabric.

I couldn't. It wouldn't be right.

But the hard-on in my pants doesn't seem to agree.

Maybe it was time for another cold shower.

--


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Thanks to the few that are taking the time to read this and let me know that they're enjoying it. I'm not sure if I will keep posting here as there doesn't seem to be much interest. I'll give it a couple of more chapters and then decide._

--

Riding in the taxi on the way to the airport, I know that I should be going over the documents detailing the new breeding program for SeaWorld. It's a world first and the money that GEORGE is being asked to donate in support of the research is quite substantial.

But it's the other first that's taking up all my thoughts. I'm getting my first roommate since Seth. And not just any roommate.

I should be excited about my trip to San Diego. It's a project that I've been involved with for quite some time.

But I don't want to go anymore.

What I want, is to fly back to New York with Ryan and help him get settled.

I know that he's worried about how it will work out, and he's only agreed to stay for a month at this point. But that's what makes me want to go with him even more.

I want to show him around.

I want to make him feel comfortable.

I want to help him settle in.

I want him to stay.

And not just for a month.

I keep thinking of things to tell him; things that I hope will make him feel at home faster, like:

Where the best coffee is on the way to the subway station.

The fact that the deli on the corner is much better than the one across the street.

The fact that I've heard that the Irish pub on the opposite corner has a happy hour on Friday evenings that's been known to become a happy few hours. Not that I've been, but Celeste, one of my neighbours, assures me it's good.

Thinking about Celeste only makes me want to be with him even more. I'm sure that once she gets a look at him, she'll be after him.

And I don't want that. Not at all.

I need to warn Ryan about her.

And the fact that sometimes the heating can be a bit iffy when it first starts up. But then I realise that since it's summer, that shouldn't be a problem. I just hope that he's still with me when winter comes to experience the questionable heating for himself.

Maybe he could fix it. He'd always been good with his hands.

But after last night, I shouldn't be thinking about that.

About the way that he'd tenderly applied the lotion to my back, his fingers feathering over me. I wouldn't have thought it possible that a guy could be so gentle.

Thinking about it and the line of fire that his fingers left behind that had nothing to do with sunburn, only reminded me of the reaction of my traitorous body.

This was Ryan. Seth's brother and my good friend. I had no right responding like that. I'd spent a long time reminding myself of that before I could get to sleep.

And when sleep had eventually come, I'd dreamt of Ryan cooking me breakfast like he used to do for the Cohen's.

I smiled at the memory.

And then I'd cook him dinner in return.

I didn't like to admit to anyone that I'd been lonely.

I hadn't wanted a roommate. If I had one, they'd probably talk all the time and try to get me to go out with them. I didn't want any of that. After being married to Seth, I was content to spend my free time quietly.

I'm sure that we can make this work. I can't think of anyone that I'd rather share my space with.

So why was I heading in the opposite direction?

--

_I look at Summer as she talks, wondering if she had as much trouble sleeping as I did last night. _

_I don't think so. She looks too bright and bubbly and … beautiful._

_But I've got to stop thinking like that._

_I watch her hands as she talks. They are beautiful and they express so much. They're an extension of her. I'm sure that if they were tied up, her conversation would be stilted._

_But I shouldn't think of Summer tied up._

_Not at all._

_Lying on her bed, the wisps of fabric missing this time …_

"_Ryan? Are you even listening to me?" _

_I shake my head, trying to get my thoughts back to the topic at hand._

"_Sorry, I just zoned out a minute. I didn't sleep very well," I offer in explanation._

"_Strange bed, huh? I have that problem sometimes, especially when I'm travelling a lot. But you'll like the bed in the apartment. It's massive. Dad was with me when I bought it, and he said that you should never skimp on something that you spend that much time in. He reckons you can face anything as long as you get a good night's rest."_

"_I'm sleeping in your bed?" I ask horrified, looking for confirmation._

"_Of course you are. It's the only one there," she states simply._

"_But I can't."_

_Summer frowned._

"_Of course you can. You think I have cooties or something?"_

_I shake my head. This is more than I can be expected to deal with. It's going to be hard enough keeping my mind off her when I'm surrounded by all things Summer, but to be sleeping in her bed …_

"_No. Nothing like that. It's just …"_

"_Just ?" she questions, the doubt written all over her face. _

"_Just … just …" I know that I sound like a blithering idiot but I can't possibly sleep in her bed. "I thought you said the apartment was big. How come there's only one bed?"_

"_Because up until now, there's only been one person living there," she states clearly, reminding me that I AM a blithering idiot._

"_Well … I'll stay at a hotel until I can buy another bed," I suggest._

"_Don't be ridiculous. There's a perfectly good bed already there. Plus there's really no point in you buying a bed until you decide if you're going to stay. Wait until the end of the month. If you decide that you're staying, then you can think about it." _

_I wish that everything she said didn't make sense. But it did._

"_It's not as if I'm going to be there to share it with you," she pointed out._

_I was scared because I wasn't sure if that was good or bad._

"_What side of the bed do you sleep on?" she inquired. _

"_I don't really have a preference," I answer, wondering why she asked._

"_I sleep on the left, the side with the nightstand. No one has ever slept on the other side. So if it makes you feel any better, you can sleep there. It's basically a new bed," she points out, blushing as she realises the implications of what she's saying._

_I nod my head hesitantly. I don't want her to feel embarrassed by the fact that she hasn't seen any action since she split up with Seth. I'm not surprised. She doesn't seem the type to sleep around casually and I'm pretty sure that the emotional scars left behind from her marriage would be taking time to heal._

"_The only rule is if you pick up some skank at a club, then go to her place. I'd like to be the first one to christen my bed that way, even if I don't know when it's going to happen."_

_It's good to know that she does see herself moving on at some point. _

"_You don't need to worry about that," I assure her. "I've sworn off women."_

"_Good. Because I've sworn off men."_

"_Then we should make a good pair," I offer._

_She smiles. One of those smiles that's uniquely Summer, where her eyes look like melted chocolate. I wish that it didn't cause a stirring deep inside me, but it does._

"_There's my flight," she notes, as an announcement comes over the loud speaker. She rises from her seat, "I have to go. Give me a call tonight to let me know that you've found the place okay." _

"_Okay."_

"_Or if you've got any questions before then, just call. Don't worry about the time. I'm sure the dolphins won't care if you interrupt."_

_I smile at the thought. _

"_Okay."_

"_And if you have any problems …"_

"_I won't," I assure her. "I'm a big boy. I'll be fine."_

_She gives me another one of those smiles and I can't help but wonder what's going through her mind._

"_I'm sure you will. I just wish that I was going with you," she states simply._

_Why does that thought make my heart sing and my head worry both at the same time?_

--


	7. Chapter 7

--

_I was surprised at how easily I'd settled in. _

_Sure, it had taken a little getting used to. A whole new city, a whole new way of life. I had expected it to take some time. But it was a few weeks in now, and I already felt comfortable. New York City and I would get along fine._

_And that wasn't something that I had expected._

_I'd never really wanted to leave, but after the divorce and Seth dropping out of college, it had become increasingly uncomfortable at home. Sandy and Kirsten were constantly sparring with Seth, and I had spent many an hour hiding in Sophie's room while they debated loudly back and forth. I wanted to get out of there so that they could deal with Seth and his issues, as a family. I hoped that giving them space would enable Sandy and Kirsten to get through to Seth without me as an added distraction._

_The job was going well so far. The firm wasn't too big; there were about fifty employees, about half of which were architects, and a few of them were around my age. There was a ton of work to be done, and I'd been thrown into it from day one, which was just fine with me. I was working on a design proposal for a new hospital and I loved it. I couldn't have been happier. _

_Summer hadn't exaggerated when she said her place was big. For a New York apartment, it was HUGE. It was a loft apartment on the top floor on an old warehouse that had been completely gutted and redeveloped into modern apartments. It was a big open space, with lots of natural light flooding through numerous skylight windows. The rooms were a master bedroom with a walk-in closet, with a big bathroom adjoining it. The bathroom had a huge Jacuzzi tub dominating it and a separate shower in the corner. There was another room partitioned off on the other wall that could have been another bedroom, but Summer had set it up as a sort of den, with a desk and computer. There was an ironing board set up and a basket with a stack of clean laundry in it._

_I felt uncomfortable looking at the pile of her clothes, especially since Summer's tiny underthings were among them. I'd contemplated doing the ironing for her one day last weekend, when I was looking for things to do. But after picking up the first couple of wisps of fabric and being flooded by thoughts of Summer wearing them, I'd quickly decided that I should leave them be. I was having enough trouble keeping thoughts of her at bay. There was no point in making it even more difficult._

_The kitchen ran along one side of the exorbitantly large living space and the rest of the space looked almost empty, the comfy sofa and television unit doing little to fill the enormous void._

_I'd taken Julie's advice and told the Cohen's that I'd found an apartment to share in Soho. I just hadn't mentioned who my roommate was. And I had no intention of doing so. It was bad enough that I kept getting calls from Seth trying to get me to intervene on his behalf with his parents. He already wasn't happy with me because I refused to get involved. If he'd known who my roommate was, I'm sure 'not happy' wouldn't have come close to describing his reaction. Better that he didn't know._

_There was a sense of accomplishment in settling into a strange city on my own. Although I couldn't really say that I'd been on my own. Maybe physically, but emotionally, Summer had been with me every step of the way._

_She'd called the first evening that I'd arrived, wanting to know if I'd found everything I needed._

_I'd been in the process of eating dinner (a pizza from the local pizzeria) and she'd proceeded to lecture me on healthy eating habits._

_I'd laughed. Here was a girl that could eat me under the table when it came to junk food, and she was telling me what I should and shouldn't eat. I'd already figured she'd tried to learn to cook based on all the gadgets in the kitchen and the large collection of cookbooks on the shelf. It turned out that since she'd moved to New York, she'd taught herself to cook. Initially out of necessity, but then it became a hobby to give herself something to do with her spare time._

_She recommended the "Cooking for One" and "One Pan Dishes" books and told me that if she could do it, then so could I. I had to admit that since then, I'd tried a few of the recipes out and she was right, they were pretty good._

_We'd fallen into a happy routine._

_She called me when she got up at five o'clock which was eight a.m. in New York. I'd been setting the alarm, but I was notorious at sleeping through it. So if I fell back to sleep, she'd wake me up. I didn't want to be late to work, especially when I was still the new guy._

_Then in the evening, I'd call her while I was cooking dinner. That was usually around_

_eight, because I'd been staying late at work, then I'd shop at the market around the corner on the way home to get something for dinner._

_She'd usually be finishing up for the day around that time. We'd gotten into to the habit of telling each other about our day, and she'd give me cooking instructions along the way. We even managed occasionally to 'eat' together, even though we were on opposite sides of the country. _

_They were the meals that I enjoyed most. _

_It was scary how much I looked forward to talking to her._

_Maybe it was because I was lonely and living in a strange city. I had come to enjoy our talks, morning and night. I would put off anything just to be able to talk to her. They were the best parts of my day. I was even waking up earlier so that I could be all ready for work when she called. That way we could spend more time talking before I had to head out. _

_No one was more amazed than me. I'd never been a big one for talking. Hell, I'd been taking flack all my life about my reluctance with words. But talking to Summer just seemed natural. I'm not even sure what we talked about half the time. But we could do it for hours. We'd even managed to make a couple of 'Dinner' calls end up as 'good night' calls because we'd still been talking as we climbed into bed. _

_I smiled thinking about how the conversation turned when that happened. She was missing her bed. And I'd had fun reminding her just how soft and luxurious it was. _

_That had lead to some dangerous gaps in conversation. She wanted to be in the bed that I was already in. The thought of her sharing my bed had me needing a cold shower after we hung up before I could get any sleep. But of course, she didn't know about that._

_Her work in San Diego was almost done. When it was finished, she was heading to SeaWorld in Orlando to coordinate the research there. I couldn't help but be excited for her. It was obvious how much she loved her job. _

_It was Friday night. I'd blown off drinks with the people from work because I didn't want to miss out on 'dinner' with Summer. But she wasn't answering her phone. Even worse than that, her phone was turned off. Voice mail picked up, and I left her a message asking her to call. I couldn't imagine what had happened to her._

_I was sure that she enjoyed our 'meals' together just as much as I did. At least I thought that she did. So where could she be?_

_Maybe she was out with other people and didn't want to be interrupted. I tried to push away that thought as best I could, but it weighed heavily on my mind that maybe she'd had enough. Maybe she was avoiding me._

_But this was Summer...not Taylor._

_I needed to keep reminding myself that just because Taylor had lied to me and cheated on me, didn't mean that all females were the same._

_And I knew that Summer was nothing like that._

_She had always been straightforward and honest, sometimes brutally so._

_If she'd been out with friends, she would have told me. It's not like I would be jealous._

_I wasn't. Was I? It's just that I didn't know where she was._

_By the time I crawled into bed that night, my anxious concern had become worry. Where was she? Was she alright?_

_The thought that something could have happened to her kept me awake for a long time. But eventually, the exhaustion of the early mornings and late nights of the last few days finally led me to restless sleep._

--

As I paid off the cab driver in front of my building, I couldn't help but notice the butterflies in my stomach again. It had been happening intermittently ever since I'd left San Diego.

Of course, when I'd planned this surprise for Ryan, I'd never imagined that I would be arriving so late. My initial idea had been to make it in time for a late dinner with him; face to face instead of over the phone. But unfortunately, that plan didn't work.

First the flight was delayed. Then when we finally boarded, they informed us that there was a warning light in the cockpit, and they couldn't leave until it was checked out. We spent another ninety minutes on the tarmac until we finally got the all clear. So a five hour flight, plus those ninety minutes and another thirty minutes in the cab, it wasn't surprising that when I looked up to the windows of the apartment from the sidewalk, everything was dark.

Perhaps he'd gone out. I couldn't help the disappointment that washed over me as I thought of that possibility.

But it was unlikely. We talked every night and he said over and over that he was waiting for me to show him the sights.

Which meant that he was probably already in bed.

Picking up my bag and moving towards the entrance, I suddenly stopped dead, dropping my bag to the ground with a thud.

The bed. What was I going to do? I hadn't even stopped to consider the fact that there was only one bed.

I'd been so excited about getting my work finished early so I could spend the weekend with Ryan before I headed off to Florida, that I hadn't given any thought to what we'd do about sleeping arrangements.

Picking up my bag again, I headed for the elevators. I'd just have to sleep on the sofa for the night. Maybe Ryan would let me have the bed tomorrow night.

I smiled at the thought of being able to spend the night in my own bed. I missed it whenever I was away.

Then on Sunday, he could have it back again because I'd be off to Florida.

Why did that idea not excite me anymore?

As quietly as possible, I entered the apartment and was instantly assailed by the smell. Not a bad smell. Just a different smell. A male smell. A Ryan smell. It was intoxicating.

I tiptoed to the bedroom to check if he was there or had gone out. It was Friday night after all.

But there he was. The full moon shone through the skylights and framed his face as he lay sound asleep on 'his' side of the bed.

I couldn't help but smile as I stood for a moment watching him. Putting my bag down gently on the floor, I took the opportunity to study him a little closer.

He looked so young, his hair all mussed up, even with the day old scruff that looked so good on him. His arms were on top of the covers and I couldn't help but admire the great muscle definition. I couldn't help but compare them to Seth's scrawny arms and there was no question who came out of it better.

It was a delightful treat to be able to study him privately as he slept, his snowy white wife beater almost glowing in the moonlight. I was both thankful and disappointed at the same time that he didn't sleep in the nude. Then I saw his phone lying next to him on the bed and I felt guilty.

I was fairly sure that he'd probably been calling me, no doubt wondering why I wasn't answering. We'd talked for hours last night until I'd fallen asleep. Today I'd been so busy trying to get everything done so that I could leave early, it just hadn't occurred to me to charge my phone. It wasn't until my flight was delayed and I reached for it that I noticed it was flat, and by then I couldn't call him anyhow.

I owed him an apology tomorrow when he woke up.

I moved as quietly as possible into the bathroom, got ready for bed, and plugged in the offending phone so that I'd have no problems with it tomorrow. Then, moving back through the bedroom on my way to the sofa, I stopped to collect my pillow and looked longingly at my side of the bed.

There wasn't even a ripple in the sheets.

Obviously Ryan wasn't a restless sleeper. Even the middle pillow looked like it had never been touched.

I contemplated for a moment whether I could take the chance and crawl into 'my side' of the bed.

What was likely to happen?

Absolutely nothing, except that I'd get a good night's sleep; something that I could certainly use. I'd been going to bed late (often because I'd been talking to Ryan until all hours), and waking up early (to make sure that Ryan got to work on time) everyday for the last couple of weeks. I was exhausted.

Would it upset him?

I couldn't see how.

Would it upset me?

NO! I'd get a good night's sleep in my own bed.

What could happen?

I knew I could trust Ryan.

It was more likely that I'd jump him than the other way around, but I'd never risk our friendship by doing something like that.

Plus, I already knew from experience what Ryan's rejection felt like. I didn't ever want to feel that again.

But if I kept looking at him bathed in moonlight, I might be tempted.

I needed to hurry up and make up my mind. I didn't want to wake him, and I desperately needed some sleep.

I came to my decision, and quickly, without allowing myself any more debate, slid carefully into my side of the bed, and almost immediately I fell into a deep sleep.

--


	8. Chapter 8

**8.**

Ryan stirred and slowly blinked his eyes open just a little. From the sparseness of light in the room, he knew it wasn't morning yet, so he closed his eyes again in an attempt to go back to sleep.

But somewhere in his semi-conscious state, something was bothering him. Something wasn't quite right and he didn't know what it was. He knew if he spent any time concentrating on it, his brain would wake up. Then he'd never be able to doze off again. But it was pointless. Whatever it was, it planned on nagging at him.

So he gave up and tried to focus, and in a moment, he knew the problem. Summer. He hadn't gotten in touch with her last night; and she hadn't called him back.

Gazing out at the dull light, he guessed that it was around six. So it would be three a.m. on the West Coast. He couldn't call her now. If she had been out with friends last night, she'd be fast asleep and she wouldn't thank him for waking her. He reasoned that he'd have to wait and call her in a few hours when she'd more likely be awake. Closing his eyes again, he attempted to go back to sleep, but there was no chance of that now. Not until he knew that she was okay.

Maybe he would call her.

She only had to tell him that she was fine, and then they could both go back to sleep. But if she didn't answer, what would he do then? It would only make matters worse.

He realised that he didn't have any other numbers to call and wondered if Dr. Roberts may have had some other way of reaching her. He meant 'Neil'. He guessed that if worse came to worse, he could call SeaWorld when they opened and try to find her that way. But he didn't even know if the research staff worked on the weekends?

He couldn't help but wonder if this was how parents felt when they couldn't get in touch with their kids? Because it sucked. This helplessness. Not knowing whether someone you cared for was safe.

He hesitated, startled by the admission. But it was accurate. He did care for her. A lot. She was one of his best friends. Scratch that, after the way that Seth had been behaving lately, he realised that she WAS his best friend. That may have seemed pretty pathetic considering that up until recently, he hadn't been in touch with her for almost a year, but it was a fact. She brightened his day. Every day. So the bottom line was that he needed to know that everything was okay. Otherwise, at this rate, he'd give himself an ulcer just from worrying.

In the now half light of the early morning, he blearily propped himself up on his elbow to see the clock on the nightstand. His breath caught as he saw that he was not alone in the bed and his heart stopped for a moment until he realized that it was Summer.

Seeing her there, sleeping soundly, relief washed over him. She must have arrived late last night and he was so out of it, he didn't even hear her.

But what was she doing here? She hadn't mentioned anything about coming back to New York. He just hoped that nothing was wrong.

She looked so peaceful, so angelic; certainly not someone with a problem. He took the opportunity to drink in the sight of her. Even in the half light it was obvious; she was beautiful. He'd never really allowed himself to look at her that way before because he'd always been too conscious of her connection to Seth. But that connection was over. And sometime during the last few weeks, Ryan had made a connection of his own with her.

They were friends.

Good friends.

Okay, so he occasionally found himself thinking of her as maybe more than a friend, but he reasoned that was only because it had been a long time since he'd seen any action. After Taylor's last stand, he'd started to think that celibacy had its good points and he'd sworn off women.

But studying Summer lying in his bed (or more correctly her bed) stirred something in him. He knew that he was going to have to get laid…and soon… before he did something to embarrass himself and ruin his friendship with her.

He suddenly felt self conscious about sharing a bed with her and wondered if he should get out of bed and move to the sofa. But she obviously had no problems about sharing the bed with him in the first place. Otherwise she would have woken him up and kicked him out last night.

Knowing that it was still too early to get up on a Saturday morning and scared that if he started to move around that he'd wake her, he decided to close his eyes, and attempt to go back to sleep again. He figured that now that he knew she was safe, there was a chance that sleep would come.

---

He woke up again a few hours later and for a second, wondered if he had been dreaming.

Glancing across to check, he couldn't help the huge smile that spread across his face. She was really there. Still sound asleep. Her hair strewn over the pillow. Checking the clock, he noticed that it was nearly ten. She was usually an early bird. She must have been really whacked when she got in last night.

As quietly as possible, he got up and stepped over Summer's bag that was dropped in the center of the room and headed for the kitchen.

He was glad that he had stopped at the store on the way home last night, planning on a big breakfast this morning. During the week it was always coffee, cereal and then out the door. But a big, leisurely breakfast on the weekend had become a sort of ritual. Summer would be able to share it with him and that would make it even better.

He put the coffee on first and then made the pancake batter, leaving it to stand while he cooked the bacon until it was nice and crisp. Then he started on the pancakes.

----

Stretching before I'm completely awake is something that I do. It wakes my muscles up, clears the cobwebs, and gets me ready to start the day. But my favourite place to stretch is in my own bed. I love my bed. But wait a minute …. is this really my bed? There's something not quite right about it. I blink my eyes open and squint at the bright sunlight streaming through the skylights and realise that it is no longer early morning. I must have slept in.

I pat the mattress a few times just to be sure that it is my bed. And it IS, because I'm in MY room, but the enticing smell that's wafting through the doorway is not something I'm used to. At least not in this apartment. I checked the other side of the bed and realized that Ryan is up. Correction, Ryan is cooking breakfast. I didn't need to think of Ryan 'UP'. That would start the day off on the wrong track entirely. I needed to keep reminding myself that he was just a 'friend'. If my traitorous body occasionally liked to think of him as more, then I was bound to end up a very frustrated young woman.

The smell of coffee and bacon was too good to ignore. Sliding from between the sheets, I softly padded out to the kitchen hoping that my 'roommate' had made enough for two.

---

Ryan looked up from turning the pancakes and couldn't help but be both delighted and surprised by Summer's appearance at the same time. Even though he'd been waiting for her to arise he still wasn't fully prepared for it.

"Hey sleepyhead! You finally decided to wake up," he commented teasingly, while trying to get his reactions under control. His brain was in overdrive. She looked amazing. Even first thing in the morning, with hair amok and face scrubbed clean. The tiny boy shorts and skimpy tank top only enhancing her obvious assets.

Summer rubbed at her eyes, still not fully awake and nodded in reply while trying to find her voice.

"I'm not a sleepy-head," she finally got out.

Ryan didn't recall her ever looking so adorable. The tiny sleep addled voice only further serving to enhance her attraction.

"Yes you are. It's nearly eleven. If you slept much longer, this could have been lunch," he pointed out.

Summer was coming to and she wasn't going to let him tease her without giving something back.

"It might be eleven here, but it's only eight in San Diego. My body clock is still on West Coast time," she explained.

"Good excuse," Ryan replied as he removed the last of the pancakes from the griddle and put them on the warmed plate.

"I hope some of that's for me," Summer remarked as she sat upon the stool that was pulled up to the kitchen bench. She was desperately in need of food and coffee.

"I'm not sure if I should feed you after you nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Aww. Did the strong guy get a big fright from little old me?" Summer asked, the grin on her face indicating that she'd do it again in a minute.

She realized how much she liked teasing him, and watched him move around her kitchen, knowing that it was something that she could easily get used to it. He was dressed in just his boxers and wife beater, and she doubted that there was any better view to wake up to. She couldn't seem to take her eyes off him as she watched the muscles and tendons flex in his arms as he moved about. Her whole body was acutely aware of how attractive he was, so much so that it started to respond, completely out of her control. Much to her discomfort, she could feel the heat and moisture building between her legs and her nipples started to peak as she envisaged those arms holding her ... those hands touching her ...

She knew that her body's traitorous signs would be visible through her tank top and she needed an excuse to remove herself before he noticed.

But right at that moment, Ryan had his own problems. With her eyes on him, he was having trouble doing the simplest things. She was so goddamn hot, with her bed hair and skimpy outfit. He thought there should be some law about your roommate looking like that. How was he going to be able to hold it together without jumping her? She must be cold, he thought to himself; her pert nipples were showing through her tank top. But that was only making him hot. He was afraid that his body would betray him soon.

He thanked God that there was a counter between them. But he knew that he was gonna have to move at some point, and then his 'state' would be pretty damn obvious. If he kept looking at her and thinking these thoughts, there was no way that she would miss what was going on in his boxers.

He tried desperately to distract himself by answering her previous question.

"Yes. I did. Why didn't you answer your phone last night?"

"The battery was dead," Summer explained. "Did you try to reach me?"

"Uh huh. Several times." Ryan pointed out, wanting her to realise just how concerned he had been for her.

"I'm sorry," Summer apologised. She hadn't wanted to worry him.

"And then when I woke up and saw another body in the bed …." Ryan started but when he noticed her smile, his anger dissipated. But he couldn't let her off that easily.

"You're lucky that I didn't physically attack you."

Summer's mind went in to overdrive as thoughts of rolling around on the bed with Ryan flooded her mind. She realised that she was hesitating and that he must have guessed that she was considering it.

"Why? Would it have been that bad?" she asked, coquettishly.

The slight control that Ryan had over his dick was now gone. He was sporting an impressive tent pole and it was pressing against the counter. He couldn't move, because if he did, she'd see it.

Summer couldn't believe that she'd spoken those words. He was obviously shocked. She needed to distance herself from him in a hurry before she died of embarrassment. Realizing that she hadn't even been to the bathroom yet, she found her exit line. She stood up from the stool.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom."

Ryan tried to stifle his sigh of relief. It was a good idea, but he needed to buy more time.

"K. Hey, when you're finished? Why don't you hop back in bed? I'll bring it in when it's ready."

Summer was happy to have a little more time to compose herself. Anything to get away from him before she lost control completely.

She nodded. "Sure. Sounds good."

As soon as she disappeared into the bathroom, Ryan felt safe to move from behind the kitchen counter. He hastily found a pair of jeans and put them on, needing to get something restrictive on his dick in a hurry. He hoped that she'd take a while in the bathroom knowing that he needed to get himself back under control before he could serve her breakfast.

---

Summer fidgeted in bed while waiting for Ryan. She couldn't decide if she should lie down or sit up. While she was in the bathroom, she'd thought about getting dressed, but then decided he would wonder why she bothered to get dressed just to get back into bed. But she couldn't seem to get her nipples under control. It seemed that just the thought of Ryan moving around in her kitchen brought them to attention, and they had no intention of relaxing.

She ended up sitting up, reasoning that if she was lying down, he might think that she'd gone back to sleep and, knowing that he was bringing her breakfast that would have been rude. She pulled the covers up over her chest so he couldn't see the evidence of what being around him did to her.

When he appeared at the doorway with the tray, she felt like all her birthdays had come at once.

She was disappointed to see that he had pulled on his jeans, but the rest of the package was unbeatable. Ryan, still in wife beater with bed-mussed hair, carrying a tray of breakfast goodies, the sun streaming through the skylights falling on him, made everything look delicious. And she meant everything. Not just the food.

"Here we go. I hope you're hungry," Ryan said while placing the heavily laden tray on the bed.

"I'm ravenous."

Ryan's eyes met hers briefly and he quickly looked away. He wished that she would stop making that sort of comment because his body was interpreting everything she said as suggestive. He was having enough trouble keeping his dick under control and she was only making it harder. Literally.

Summer noticed him look away and tried to gloss over the awkward moment.

"This looks delicious. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

As soon as he words left her mouth she regretted them. Glancing at him, she noticed the smile slowly spread across his face. Now she was wondering what he was thinking. He was really quiet. She wondered was he running through his options.

Ryan was stunned. What the fuck? He didn't know how he would survive this? Everything she said had his mind racing and his heart pumping. He was sure that there was no innuendo intended, and yet, that was all he was hearing. The look on her face made him want to take her, to have her, here and now … but he knew that he couldn't. She was a friend. Nothing more. He needed to keep reminding himself of that.

Summer's heart was pounding. She knew that whatever he wanted, he could have. If he wanted a blow job … If he wanted to take her from behind … He was so quiet ... until ...

"Dinner sounds good," Ryan said simply.

Summer didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed at his suggestion.

"Sure. I can take you out for dinner. It's the least I can do," she replied as her mind recoiled. She was definitely disappointed. But she knew that she shouldn't be. He'd been waiting for her to show him around New York for weeks, and now she was finally here. Of course, he'd want to go out. Just because she'd rather stay here with him didn't mean that was what he'd prefer.

Ryan quickly corrected her. "I don't want to go out. I want you to cook for me."

Summer was surprised but delighted and couldn't help the smile on her face as she responded. "Oh. You want to stay in?"

Ryan was stunned at her words. They just confirmed what he already knew. That he really needed to get laid. Everything she said, that he was sure was perfectly normal, he was hearing as sexual. He knew that if he was buried in her right now, then he'd definitely want to stay there. He realised that she was waiting for some sort of reply and nodded his head in lieu of shaking it with frustration.

"If that's okay with you?" he replied softly. The thought of spending time together had been on his mind a lot lately.

"Sure. It sounds great." Summer couldn't wait. A whole night together ... on their own … alone. Better than great.

"We could go to the market later and pick up whatever you need," Ryan suggested.

"Okay," Summer replied, realising that she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. She wondered why even the idea of grocery shopping with him sounded like about the best offer she'd ever had.

"But I should probably go find a bed first."

"A bed? Why?" Summer asked.

Ryan was amazed. Fuck! Couldn't she see why? He couldn't share a bed with her. It was hard enough to keep his mind out of the gutter when he was sharing a meal with her. He doubted that he'd ever get to sleep with her next to him. He would have to stay awake all night trying to restrain himself.

"I can't throw you out of your own bed and the sofa isn't really big enough for me," Ryan explained.

"I'm only here for one more night, then I'm off to Orlando. The bed will be all yours again. It's seems silly to buy another bed when this is already here. You might as well use it," Summer reasoned.

"I guess. But I'll sleep on the sofa tonight and let you have your room to yourself."

He knew that he couldn't sleep in the bed with her … but he also couldn't tell her why without revealing his feelings for her.

"You can't do that. You'll never fit on that sofa, and you won't be able to sleep. If someone has to sleep out there, I will. But I don't see why we can't just share this bed. It's big enough for both of us. Did you have any problems sleeping last night?" she asked.

Ryan wondered how was he supposed to answer that? He was already asleep when she slipped in, and once he fell back to sleep, it was with relief that she was okay. But he knew that sleep wouldn't come easily if he was lying there thinking about what she's not wearing and what he wanted to do to her. But he couldn't admit that, or she'd know what was going on in his head (and his pants). He knew that he sucked at lying, so he was going to have to keep his answer short.

"No."

He just hoped that she wouldn't push the issue. Otherwise he was in big trouble.

"Exactly. So we'll just do the same tonight," Summer responded.

Ryan gulped. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life," she replied, her tone indicating that the discussion was over.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

"So what did you have planned for the rest of the day?" Summer asked as they were finishing up the breakfast dishes.

"I was thinking of trying to find a decent gym near here. I haven't done anything physical since I got here, and if I keep cooking from those books of yours then I'll end up turning to flab," Ryan replied.

He couldn't help but think that maybe if he tired himself out physically, then he might collapse with exhaustion at bedtime. It would be preferable to being awake all night thinking about Summer lying next to him.

"We can't have that," she agreed.

She knew that she enjoyed looking at him. He was right up there in the eye candy stakes. But she kept her exuberant enthusiasm under wraps.

"Didn't you used to like to run?" she asked.

"Yeah. But I can't run here. There's too much traffic."

"No. But you can run around Central Park. Half of New York does," she pointed out.

"Are you part of that group?"

"Oh no. I don't run. But it's such a nice day that I could be tempted to hire a bike and follow you around."

Plus, I'd get to lust after your body without you being any the wiser, she thought to herself with amusement.

"That sounds like fun. I haven't been there yet, but a few people from work talk about it all the time."

"It's great. Why don't you go get ready? I'll finish up here, and then I'll have a quick shower after you've finished, and we can go."

Ryan couldn't help but consider the possibility of them showering together to save time and water, but quickly rid himself of those thoughts.

"Sounds like a plan," he replied.

--

The day in Central Park was glorious. The weather was perfect; not a cloud in the sky. Summer rented a bike at the entrance and the two set off to explore.

It had been a long time since Summer had been on a bike, and she found that instead of being able to follow behind Ryan and admire the view as she'd hoped, it was the other way around for a while. He ran behind to steady the bike whenever she started to teeter, which at the beginning was quite often. But eventually she got the hang of it and they settled into a steady rhythm.

They wound their way along the paths alongside ponds full of ducks, stopping every now and then along the way to admire the scenery. They passed fields filled with small children playing games, guys tossing footballs and families picnicking.

After a while, they decided to rest. They bought hotdogs and fresh lemonade from a vendor and settled in the shade of a large tree to recuperate.

Summer waited to see if Ryan would say anything, but as usual he was being his normal quiet self.

"So how's New York?" she asked, wanting to break the silence. It hadn't been awkward. She enjoyed being with him even if he didn't talk. It was just that they'd spent so much time talking over the last few weeks when they hadn't been together that now that they were together, it seemed strange that they were both so happy to remain quiet.

"It's great," he said smiling as he watched a dad playing ball with his small son. "Surprisingly so," he added.

Summer frowned momentarily.

"If you didn't expect to like it, why did you decide to move here?"

"It wasn't that I didn't expect to like it. More that I hadn't really wanted to leave where I was," Ryan tried to explain. "I guess I'm just a boring stay at home kinda guy since I've been with the Cohens," he explained, shrugging his shoulders to show that he was fine with that.

"You might like home, but that doesn't make you boring," Summer pointed out, realizing how difficult things must have been in Berkeley for Ryan to actually take the initiative and leave. "Were things really that bad?"

Somewhere over the last few weeks they'd managed to find a common thread, so she knew she didn't need to elaborate. They always seemed to know what the other was thinking. It meant that they could talk in a kind of shorthand, knowing full well that the other would understand. It came from a familiarity that they'd never had before.

Summer knew not to push things. If he chose not to verbalize his feelings, that was fine. He'd tell her when wanted to. Or not tell her, if that's what he felt more comfortable with. He was quiet for a while.

"Let's just say that Seth has some growing up to do," he finally got out. "Maybe being at home with his parents without me around will make it easier for him."

Summer considered what he'd said, but didn't really understand. Ryan and Seth had always been so close.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you're here, but I don't see how you not being around could make it any easier for him."

Ryan sighed. It was apparent that he was reluctant to say more, but still wanted to, which only made it even more special that he chose to confide in her further.

"Sandy and Kirsten were constantly holding me up as some pillar of the community. They used me as the example that Seth should be following," he added with another sigh.

Summer knew it would be easy for them to do that. Ryan was everything that you'd hope that your child would become. He'd achieved so much since he'd come to live with them and had repaid their faith in him over and over.

"It really made me uncomfortable," he admitted. "Plus, Seth was resenting me more and more because of it. I thought that it was better that I get out of there while he was still talking to me and before things got any worse between us."

Even though things with Seth were over, these were people that had meant a lot to her. Summer couldn't help but be concerned.

"Have you spoken to Seth since you left?"

"Yeah."

"And has it helped?"

Ryan shook his head as if trying to rid it of an unpleasant memory, hesitating before he went on.

"We've spoken a couple of times. But it's always the same."

Summer waited for him to explain, but it was obvious that he was even more reluctant to continue.

"And that's …." Summer prompted.

"He always wants money," Ryan supplied.

"Money? But if there's one thing that …" Summer started.

"I know. It's always been something he has and I don't. But I'm guessing that Sandy and Kirsten have basically cut him off except for necessities. And he figures that since I'm working …. yeah … anyhow, it hasn't been great."

"Have you given him any?" Summer asked hesitantly, almost scared of the answer.

Ryan shook his head.

"No. Sandy called and asked me to not to. They're trying the tough love approach. They're hoping that his dealers will eventually stop supplying him if he can't pay. They want him to go to rehab, but he's holding out. I just don't know …"

Summer could see how troubled he was.

"It's for the best. He needs to get some help," she said softly.

"I know. But I can't help wondering if maybe I should have stayed. Maybe there was something I could do to help. I just couldn't see how. I felt like I was only making things worse."

Summer reached over and threaded her fingers through his in an effort to comfort him. When Ryan cared, he cared too much. He wanted to fix everything for everyone but he wasn't superman.

He looked up at her, but didn't pull his fingers away as he tried to explain further.

"It's so easy here to put them at the back of my mind. I love work. And this. Here. Being with you. I feel guilty when I think about them back there trying to get through to Seth about the help that he needs while I'm here enjoying myself with you."

Summer paused for a moment. How much of his guilt had to do with not being in Berkeley and how much was to do with him being with her? She didn't want to dwell on it because she wasn't about to give him up. But she wanted to know more.

"What did Sandy and Kirsten think about you coming here?"

"They were completely supportive. They said they'd miss me, but they agreed it was probably the best thing for all of us right now."

Summer nodded, pleased that she wasn't going to be at odds with the Cohen's. They still meant a lot to her even if she had divorced their son. She didn't want Ryan to go back to Berkeley and have a guilt trip laid on him by Seth. Plus, she realised that she didn't want him to go back there because she enjoyed having him around. Maybe too much.

"You trust them, don't you?" she asked.

"Sandy and Kirsten? Of course."

"Then trust them to handle this. They'll deal with Seth. You should move on with your own life," she suggested, then wanting to change the subject she added, "And right now that means that it's time to look for ice cream," she said, standing up and brushing herself off.

Ryan watched her, resisting the impulse to help. There was a small blade of grass stuck on the curve of her ass that he wanted to remove, but he was scared that if his hand touched her that he wouldn't want to take it away. He'd want to cup it in his hand and bring her to hold against him and …

"Come on, slouch. Ice cream time," Summer demanded, startling him out of his day dream.

"Sure," he said, standing up to join her. "Lead the way."

--

They stopped at the market on the way back, buying enough for a veritable feast.

"You do realise that you're going to have to help with this?" Summer pointed out.

"Yeah. I'll help with the eating," Ryan supplied. "I'm starving. All that exercise has certainly helped me work up quite an appetite," he said, his eyes running over her.

His appetite was certainly up. Unfortunately, it wasn't purely for food.

Summer turned to him and noticed his line of vision. Was there more to that comment than met the eye?

"Uhuh. You'll need to do a bit more than that. I'm going to put you to work as my galley slave," she informed him. She couldn't help but think about what having him as a slave could really mean.

Ryan gulped as he considered the possibilities of being her slave. He liked the idea, a little more than was probably healthy.

"Sure. Whatever you want," he replied, trying to get his mind back on food.

Summer blushed as her thoughts were filled with the possibility of getting him to do whatever she wanted. She definitely wanted much more than food.

--

Dinner was good. No, better than good. It was extraordinary. They laughed as they prepared dinner, laughed some more as they ate dinner, and continued laughing while they cleaned up.

Ryan glanced at the clock. It seemed that time flew by whenever they were together. And yet sometimes, when he gazed into the depths of her eyes and lost himself there, time seemed to stand still.

He knew he had to get over it. Or past it. Or whatever. He needed to get it under control before they went to bed. Together. Or he would never be able to sleep.

He thought about the week ahead. Now that he knew how much he enjoyed having Summer with him, he knew the apartment would be lonely, and so would he. But she hadn't exaggerated when she'd said she was hardly ever there. She was leaving tomorrow and didn't know when she'd be back; probably not for a few weeks at least. They would be back to talking on the phone again.

And during that time he was going to have to get laid. It might be the only way that he'd be able to deal with her eventual return.

--


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N**__: Thanks to everyone that reading and especially those that are reviewing. I can guess from the number of alerts that are set for it, that most people aren't bothering to leave comments but I guess that's there prerogative. Enjoy!_

_**NB**__**: This will be the last post in this rating. I'm going to move it to M just to be safe**__._

10.

Ryan…

This wasn't going well. But had I really expected it to?

It wasn't as if I wasn't trying. Was it?

Okay, so she was putting it out there that she was up for anything. But **I** wasn't.

If she kept talking continuously and grinding herself against me like that, then I'd have to tell her to leave me alone. I'd already had to remove her hands from places that they shouldn't have been; at least not without me inviting her to put them there. And that wasn't going to happen. Not in this lifetime.

I thought that I wanted an easy lay, but NOT this easy.

There should at least be some challenge in it. Right?

I was completely perplexed.

I knew that I had to get laid. Summer was due back next week and if I don't get my libido under control, I have no idea how we will even manage to cohabitate, let alone sleep in the same bed.

But that's half the problem. All I can think about is Summer.

Having this (no doubt attractive) female offering herself to me in the noisy, dimly lit bar isn't what I want. It should be, but it isn't.

She's no different from all the others.

I thought back over the last few weeks.

Getting a date had turned out to be extremely easy. I'd mentioned to Jason, one of the guys from work, that I needed to find a girl and he'd laughed. Unbeknownst to me, I'd become the flavour of the month with the single girls in the office (and a few of the not so single girls, if I can believe what he told me). Obviously 'new meat' was a big deal in New York City. He got the word out, and the next thing I knew there was a steady stream of invites for me to choose from.

The first one that I'd accepted was from Emma, one of the girls in accounting, and it had gone really well. She was attractive and fun. We had a great meal together, and it was obvious that she was interested. When she asked me back to her place for coffee, I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that coffee wasn't the only thing on her mind.

We made out in the taxi on the way and things were escalating. We were headed in the right direction as far as I was concerned, and apparently, she wanted the same thing. Once inside her apartment, the coffee was soon forgotten as we continued with our mutual exploration. Clothes were shed almost immediately. Hands and mouths were exploring; touching, feeling, and tasting. Things were going really well until she suggested we move our activities to her bedroom.

"I have a big bed, and I think we'd be much more comfortable there, than here on the sofa," she suggested, and just like that my mind was filled with Summer. She'd be pleased that I wasn't going to 'christen' her bed as she'd so tactfully put it. Wouldn't she?

But would Summer be happy that I was about to do the deed with someone else? Someone that I'd only just met? Someone that had been a stranger up until the day before when she'd come up to me in the lunch room and asked me out?

I could feel my dick softening as thoughts of Summer filled my mind, and I knew that Emma could sense my mood shift, so I groped for an excuse.

"I'm sorry. You're great. And I like you. But I'm getting over someone. It was a bad break-up, and I guess I'm not ready to dive back in yet. It wouldn't be fair to you. Maybe I just need some more time," I explained.

Fortunately, she was very understanding, offering to do whatever she could do to help, including offering me a blow job as I was getting dressed. But that was the last thing I wanted.

As soon as the image of Summer had popped into my head, all I'd wanted to do was to get back home and call her. I'd told her last night that I had a date and she was excited for me. I didn't want to dwell too much on how disappointed I'd been by that. But she'd made me promise to call her and tell her how it went.

--

Summer…

I fidgeted with my cell once again, checking it to make sure that I hadn't missed a call. It wasn't all that noisy in the hotel bar, but it was still possible to miss the ring tone.

It was getting late and he still hadn't called. The date must have been going well. I was pleased for him. Wasn't I?

I knew the answer to that. I **wanted** to be pleased for him, but truthfully I was jealous as all hell.

I'd deliberately accepted an opportunity to go out with some people from work, so that when he called, I could say that I was out, too. That way he wouldn't think I was sitting in my hotel room sulking at the idea of him being with someone else.

But I WAS sulking.

Even the people I worked with had noticed. I'd been grumpy all day. Ever since he'd told me the night before that he had a date.

I didn't need to be. It wasn't as if I was never asked out myself. It was just that since Seth, I hadn't even wanted to go out until Ryan came on the scene.

And now … He was dating someone else.

How would I cope when I got back to New York if he had a girlfriend? The ferocity of my jealousy at the thought actually scared me.

The time that I spent talking to him was still the best part of my day. We spoke morning and night every day, weekends included, and I couldn't wait to see him again.

But that was when I'd imagined us spending our time together, not with me as a third wheel to him and his new girlfriend.

One of the work guys, Tom walked up to me as I was checking my phone yet again.

"You expecting an important call?" he asked.

I was startled. I didn't realize that my actions were so obvious.

"Um. Not really," I responded. I put my phone in my pocket to try to cover my fixation. "A friend of mine said he might call, but he's probably tied up."

_As soon as the words left my mouth, I imagined the literal possibility of that and I felt physically sick. But the women in New York weren't stupid and Ryan was an exceptional specimen. I'm sure that some of them would welcome the opportunity if they got the chance._

"A male friend?' Tom asked, surprised.

"Yes. I do have them, you know," I answered, forcing a smile on my face to soften my words.

"Sorry. It's just …"

"Just?"

"Well … As far as I know, you've shut down every guy that's asked you out since your divorce. I didn't know that you were back out among us, otherwise I would have thrown my hat in the ring," he admitted, a hopeful look in his eyes.

I shook my head gently. "No. It's nothing like that. He's just a friend."

"So … are you dating anyone?" he asked tentatively.

It was obvious what he was hinting at, so I headed it off at the pass.

"No. I'm not ready to."

"Can I ask to be put at the top of the list when you are?" he asked shyly.

I couldn't tell him that the top spot and the ten after that were already taken by the same guy. It would be cruel. And who knows, Ryan may already be off the market.

"Sure. But I can't promise anything."

"That's okay. Good things are worth waiting for."

I smiled. He was sweet. But he wasn't what or who I wanted.

"I'm beat. I think that I'll head off to bed. See you in the morning," I said, wanting to distance myself from him. I also needed time to process the thought of Ryan with someone else before he called. IF he called. It wasn't going to be easy.

I was just entering my room when my phone rang.

"Hey," I answered.

"Hey, I hope that I didn't wake you," Ryan replied.

"No. I'm just getting ready for bed. I had a few drinks with some of the people from work."

"That sounds like fun."

"I'm not sure if it was fun. But it was a way to pass the time since I didn't have anyone to talk to tonight," I commented, unable to stop myself from putting in a little dig.

"Aw. Poor baby. I'm sorry I let you down. If it helps, I missed talking to you, too."

I chuckled. "Yeah, sure. So, how did the date go?"

There was a noticeable pause while I waited for his answer. I thought of the possibilities, eliminating them one by one until I got to the most distasteful. What if the date wasn't over and she was still there? And he was sneaking in a call while she went to 'slip into something more comfortable'? Or maybe she was in the shower, freshening up after? It was almost more than I could stand just thinking about it.

"She wasn't really what I was looking for," Ryan finally replied.

I moved my mouth away from the phone so that he wouldn't detect my blatant sigh of relief.

"So you're home?" I checked. I needed to know that it was really over.

"Yeah. Safe and sound, Mom," he kidded, obviously thinking that I was concerned about his welfare out on the streets.

"And you're alone?"

I knew that he probably was, but I'd spent all day thinking the worst and now this seemed too good to be true.

"Of course. If something was going to happen, I wouldn't bring her back here. I promised you that I wouldn't …" Ryan replied and then stopped short.

I knew exactly where he had been headed. He had been hoping to get together with that woman. My relief was now intermixed with disappointment that he'd been planning to do it with someone else.

But really, what did I expect? He was human, after all. And from what Taylor had told me, he had quite the sexual appetite, and he'd admitted that he hadn't been with anyone in a while, just like me. If only we could break the drought together.

--

Ryan…..

After the date with Emma, I was surprised to find that I was even more popular with the ladies from work. I had a steady stream of dates wanting to make all my wishes come true. Emma must have told them what I had said, because instead of them avoiding me, it seemed that each and every one of them thought that they could be the one to help me come to terms with my unhappy past.

Little did they know that what I needed was a way to come to terms with my future. My future - when Summer would be back in New York City and we would be sharing a bed again.

I realized that somehow, for right or wrong, Summer and I had entered into a relationship. It wasn't a physical one, (much as my dreams would have liked), but it was real just the same. Maybe more real than any other I'd had. Talking to her every night, I felt a connection that I had never experienced before.

No matter how many different girls I'd tried dating, at some point during the evening, the thought of Summer invaded and the guilt that came from being with someone that wasn't her overwhelmed me.

I couldn't be with her, but I couldn't be with anyone else.

I was really stuck. I wanted, no, **needed** to get laid. But, it wasn't going to happen with anyone else. At first, I'd kept my distance from her out of respect to Seth but now it was more than that. I wasn't prepared to risk my friendship with her by showing her how I felt. It was too important to me.

How was I ever going to resolve this?

--


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: I've moved this __story to M rating but there's not really much in this chapter. However, I suspect that the next chapter needs to be there, so it was better to be safe than sorry._

11.

The butterflies in Ryan's stomach increased as the time drew closer for Summer to come home. He checked the clock again, and noted that her flight should have landed thirty minutes ago, which meant that barring traffic problems, she should be there in about fifteen minutes.

It was time to put the water on to boil for the pasta. He wanted to time it just right so that it would be ready when she arrived. She'd be tired and hungry and he wanted everything to be perfect.

He only hoped that she would like her surprise.

He had spent many hours agonizing over what to do, and had concluded that this was the only way they could continue to live together, and he knew that he didn't want to give that up.

He had to admit; a part of him was disappointed that it had come to this. But he couldn't see any other way to make it work, so he'd have to learn to cope with the disappointment. It would be better than the alternative – moving out was not an option.

--

Summer put her bag down outside the apartment door to dig for her keys. She wondered if Ryan would be home or out on another one of his 'dates'. It was Friday night, after all. She was still having trouble coming to terms with the idea of him dating, but thankfully, over the last couple of weeks, there seemed to be less and less dates, and from what he'd reported, he hadn't gone out with any girl more than once. That had to be a good thing, didn't it? At least for her it was, she thought, but probably not so good for Ryan. Finally finding the key, she slipped it into the lock and opened the door.

--

As soon as Ryan heard the key in the lock, his heart skipped a beat. He had planned on appearing cool, calm and collected, but it was hopeless. His heart was racing and he couldn't stop himself from rushing to the door and came face to face with her.

He knew that he should try to keep his distance, but there was no point in even trying. He'd missed her too much to even think about that. As soon as he saw her beaming face, he picked her up in an enormous bear hug and twirled her around, pleased that she seemed just as happy to see him as he was to see her.

"Welcome home," he laughed, his delight at having her back with him threatening to overflow.

"It's great to be back," she replied, bursting with joy herself, and holding on to him tightly, hoping that he'd never let go. Feeling his arms around her made her feel like she was really home. "Something smells good."

Ryan blushed. "That would be dinner. I hope that you like Linguini Marinara?"

Summer hesitated a moment. She actually thought it was him that smelled so good. The male scent that was distinctly Ryan made her blood rush, but she couldn't admit to that. The food was a good cover.

"I love it."

Ryan knew that he was still smiling like an idiot, but it was just so good to have her back. He put her down, but neither of them seemed in a hurry to move, their eyes were still firmly stuck on one another, almost as if they were scared that the other would vanish like a dream if they looked away.

"You had your hair cut," Ryan noted.

"Yeah. Just a little. Do you like it?" Summer asked, suddenly nervous. It had only been a trim, but if he liked it longer, then she wouldn't be doing that again.

Ryan lightly ran a strand through his fingers and said, "Yeah. I do."

Truthfully, he didn't think that there was anything that she could do that he wouldn't like.

He picked up her bag and moved towards the bedroom.

"You can unpack this later. Dinner is nearly ready. I hope you're hungry."

"I'm starving," she replied. But if he kept looking at her like that, then food would be the last thing on her mind.

She'd thought about it the whole way on her flight from Florida. Maybe tonight, when they were in bed together, she could accidentally (on purpose) roll over while 'sleeping' until she reached his side, then blame it on a restless night when he found her next to him. Because there was something else that she was starving for and he was just the guy to supply it. But how would he respond to her?

Watching him as he made the final preparations for dinner in the kitchen, she knew what she hoped he'd do. She wanted to christen that big bed of hers, and she wanted to do it with Ryan.

--

"That was delicious," Summer commented. "You've been busy with my cookbooks. But this isn't fair. You have all this time to cook, and if I keep spending all my time away with work, you'll end up a better cook than me."

"Complaining? I'm sure there are lots of girls that would be happy to have someone cook dinner for them," he kidded.

"Definitely not complaining. I just feel guilty, that's all," she explained.

"You can cook for me tomorrow night," Ryan stated and then quickly corrected himself, "That's if you have nothing else planned."

He knew that he couldn't or shouldn't assume that she'd spend all her spare time with him. Just because he could think of nothing that he'd rather do than be with her didn't mean that she felt the same way.

It hadn't even entered Summer's mind to make plans for the weekend. She had a couple of friends that were complaining that they hadn't seen her for a while, but spending time with them compared to spending it with Ryan … there was no contest.

"No plans. I'd love to cook for you," she confirmed. "What about tomorrow? How about visiting Central Park again?"

"Sure. It was fun. I've been back a couple of times, but it's nowhere near as much fun without you," he admitted and then blushed. He wasn't sure how she would take that, but it was the truth.

Wanting to change the topic quickly before she read too much into his last statement, he stood up from the table, bowing and offering his hand to her.

"What?" she asked, grinning at his formality.

"I have a surprise for you, if you would do me the honor of accompanying me," he replied.

Completely intrigued, she stood and placed her hand in his. Trying to ignore the sparks that touching him always inspired, she followed him until they reached the closed door of the second bedroom.

Ryan turned the knob, pushed the door open and stood back for her to admire his handiwork.

No longer was it the mess that she'd left it.

The laundry and ironing board had disappeared.

A new wall unit, complete with a bookcase stood beside the desk. All the books and papers that she'd had stacked in boxes were now neatly on display. There was a television on a small stand in the corner. She couldn't help but smile until her eyes noted the new sofa along the far wall. He had created a guest room and she felt as if a shadow crossed her heart.

"What ….?" She was almost afraid to ask but she needed to know what this all meant.

"I didn't want to you to feel like a visitor in your own apartment. So I thought that I'd set this up so when you're here, I can use it and not be in your way."

"You weren't in my way," Summer insisted.

"You're just too nice to say so. I know that you didn't want me to buy another bed, and you're right about that. We don't need one. Your bed is great. So as long as you don't mind, I'll continue to sleep there when you're not here. But when you are, then I can use the sofa bed and you can have your room to yourself."

Summer didn't know what to say. She was grateful for what he had done for her, but she couldn't show him how bitterly disappointed she was. Her plans for rolling over in bed were a pipe dream now. Obviously while she had been figuring out ways to get closer to him, he'd been working out a way to get further away from her.

It brought back memories of the first time that she'd made a move on him, and he'd rejected her without hesitation. If she needed a reminder of what their relationship was to him, this was it. Thank god that it had happened before she'd done anything more and embarrassed herself. Fortunately, she was saved from having to reply because Ryan's cell phone rang.

He quickly answered and then moved into the living room for privacy, leaving Summer to quietly head to her own room to unpack. Things had definitely not turned out the way that she'd hoped.

--

"Seth? This is a surprise," Ryan commented pleasantly.

"Why?" Seth asked resentfully. "What do you mean by that?"

Ryan sighed. It seemed that whenever they spoke these days, things only got worse.

"I didn't mean anything by it. It's just that it's been a while. That's all."

"Yeah. Well, the last time I called, you didn't really want to talk to me."

"That's because you didn't want to talk to ME. All you wanted was money. And as soon as I said that I wouldn't lend you any, you hung up on me," Ryan pointed out.

"I can't believe that you can't spare me some moolah now that you're a hotshot architect."

"I'm not. I'm the new guy on the lowest rung on the ladder. Can we change the subject, or is that why you called?

"It wasn't, but you're such a shit these days. Maybe I shouldn't even bother telling you the news."

"What news?" Ryan asked ignoring the insult. He'd come to expect them from Seth. But he did wonder what was happening in Berkeley. He'd spoken to Sandy and Kirsten only two days ago and they hadn't mentioned anything. He called every Wednesday to touch base. But as usual, Seth hadn't been home.

"Your girlfriend's in town."

Ryan's heart skipped a beat. His first thought was that Seth somehow knew that Summer was back in the city, but he couldn't be talking about her. He knew nothing about Summer and Ryan; not that there was anything to know.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"What? The classy chicks of New York City don't go for the Chino bad boy? You must be losing your touch," Seth taunted. "Or maybe your reputation was all smoke and mirrors. You're too uptight. You know a little pot could do wonders for you."

"No thanks. I might end up like you," Ryan returned. He could only take so much of Seth's snideness without retaliating.

"Yeah. Whatever. Then how about 'the girl that you were going to propose to'?" Seth rephrased, knowing how to twist the knife. He knew how shattered Ryan had been when he'd returned from Paris and he enjoyed reminding him of it, knowing that it would still hurt. Seth had become one nasty dude.

Ryan cringed at the mention of Taylor.

"You know that's over."

"Not for her it would seem," Seth replied cryptically.

Ryan didn't want to bite, but he wanted to know what Seth meant.

"What do you mean?"

"It seems that she transferred across to Berkeley to finish her degree. She came here earlier looking for you. You've been a naughty boy. You didn't tell her you moved to New York. She would have transferred to NYU."

"It doesn't make any difference where I'm living," Ryan retorted. "It should have nothing to do with where she finishes her classes."

"But it would seem that it does," Seth informed him. "She wants to know when you'll be back in town."

"I promised Kirsten that I'd be back for Thanksgiving, but you already knew that."

"That's a long time away. Are you sure you won't be back before then?"

"I'm sure."

"You know. If you could float me a loan, I could fly out there and spend some time with you. I hear that the Big Apple can be a pretty cool place to hang out," Seth suggested, looking for a way to get his hands on some spare cash.

Ryan cringed. There was no way that he wanted Seth in NYC. It would blow things with Summer completely. Never mind the fact that he knew better than to send Seth cash…..

"So if I sent you a plane ticket …" he offered.

"Better just to send the cash. That way I can look around for a good fare," Seth explained, knowing that he'd never buy a ticket. There were too many other things that he'd much rather do if he could just lay his hands on some more money. They were all preferable to wasting it on seeing is 'brother'.

"I'm not sending you cash. The money would go straight to your dealer," Ryan said firmly.

Seth couldn't believe that Ryan had him pegged so easily.

"Fuck you, Ryan," he said and hung up in his ear.

--

Summer was watching TV when Ryan returned from his call. She could tell that the call had upset him.

"Not bad news I hope," she inquired.

"No. But not good news either," Ryan replied cryptically.

"Care to share?" Summer prompted. She thought that he looked like it might do him good to get 'it' (whatever 'it' was) off his chest.

"Seth's still a prick and Taylor's back in town," he replied succinctly.

"Okay, the first one I already knew, but the second is a surprise," Summer admitted.

"For me, too," Ryan agreed.

"What's she doing there?"

"She transferred to Berkeley, according to Seth," Ryan explained.

"Well, we know that Seth isn't known for his honesty, but I can't see what he'd gain by lying about that," Summer commented.

"True."

"So why do you think she's there?"

"I don't really want to think about it," Ryan replied and then corrected himself, "I don't want to think about her."

Summer hesitated, wondering how he would react if she asked what was on her mind. But she really wanted to know the answer and decided to plunge ahead and ask.

"Am I allowed to ask what happened between the two of you?"

Ryan was surprised by her question.

"I would have thought that you already knew," Ryan said.

Summer and Taylor had been close ever since Marissa died. He imagined that they still kept in contact and that Summer just chose to keep it to herself, knowing that anything to do with Taylor was a sore point with him.

"I know the Taylor version. But I've learned over the years that she's pretty good at pretending to smell like a rose when she actually smells like stinkweed; you know, turning lemons into lemonade?"

Ryan smiled. Summer always had such a great way of putting things.

But did he really want to go over it all again? Tonight of all nights? He'd looked forward all week to spending quality time with Summer and he didn't want anything to ruin it, especially not talk of Taylor.

"Do you mind if we don't talk about it tonight? I promise I'll tell you, but just not now. I don't want to spoil our evening. Maybe tomorrow. Okay?"

Summer nodded.

"Sure, whenever you're ready," she replied.

But she was disappointed. He obviously still had feelings for Taylor and he needed time to pull himself together. That wasn't what she had expected.

But he did say he didn't want to spoil 'our' evening not 'the' evening. If that was true, there might still be hope for them.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: This story is only about half way through but I doubt that I'll bother posting the rest. Even though there are a number of alerts on it and a few favourites, it seems that I can't get any sort of response to it, so I'm __guessing that there really is not much interest. That being the case, I can't see any point in continuing._

_If I've got that wrong then let me know, otherwise this will be it._

12.

It was another beautiful day in New York City and they tried to re-enact their previous visit to Central Park. But no matter how much they tried, it wasn't the same and they both knew it.

Sure, Summer had found her childhood bicycle legs again, but it was much more than that.

--

Ryan knew that he was tired. He hadn't slept well. He blamed the sofa bed. Sure, it was comfortable, but it wasn't the same as Summer's big bed. He knew that wasn't the only reason, though. Knowing that she was lying only steps away (even if she was on the other side of the wall) didn't help. Plus there was the added distraction of wondering what the hell Taylor was doing in Berkeley. He'd hoped that he'd heard the last of her.

On top of that, Summer hadn't been her normal bubbly self this morning, and he didn't know why. Maybe she hadn't slept well. Or maybe it was that time of the month. All the more reason why it was a good thing that he'd vacated her bedroom and left her to herself. She wasn't grumpy or anything. She was just quiet, maybe a little sad. Maybe it was something at work. He intended to ask her when the opportunity presented itself.

--

Summer was trying with little success to recapture the mood from their first visit to Central Park, but she was fighting a losing battle. She didn't sleep well. She wanted Ryan back in her bed, even if he just slept on the other side. If he'd just come back, she'd stay on her side; she wouldn't roll over 'by accident.' It just wasn't the same without him there.

But the thought that he still had feelings for Taylor was troubling her even more. She needed to know what had happened between them. He hadn't wanted to tell her and that upset her. Since he'd moved to New York, she'd come to think of him as her best friend. They talked every day about anything and everything. But obviously he had secrets that he didn't want to share.

--

They bought hot dogs and lemonade again and made themselves comfortable under a shady tree. But sitting there, watching the passing parade, they both sensed that something wasn't right.

Summer watched a small blonde boy playing with a ball and couldn't help but think of Ryan. She wondered what he would have been like as a small child. Ever since she'd known him, he always seemed so strong and independent. Was he always like that or did it come from having no one but himself to rely on? She thought about what his childhood must have been like in Chino, fending for himself from an early age and compared it to the super-indulged Newport life that she and Seth had been privileged to have. She couldn't help but feel sad for the unfairness of it all.

Ryan watched the play of emotions cross Summer's face. He had been waiting for an opportunity to ask her about her melancholy and now seemed as good a time as any. She seemed upset, almost on the verge of tears. He remembered the last time they were there, and he had been feeling a little down when he told her about Seth and why he left Berkeley. She'd threaded her fingers through his and he'd appreciated the comfort that it had given him just from the small contact. Thinking that he might be able to return the favour, he placed his hand over hers.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

Summer pulled her hand back hastily, in time to prevent the sparks that came whenever they touched. It was an effort just to NOT touch him whenever he was near, and she couldn't handle that now. Not with everything else that was going on.

"No," she replied curtly.

"Then why did you pull away? I thought we were friends," Ryan asked, puzzled. She was so jumpy. She'd never been like that before.

"Don't you accuse me of pulling away. You're the one that's pulling away. And as for being friends ….," Summer started.

Ryan was now completely confused. He thought about it and couldn't think of what she might be referring to.

"When did I ever pull away?" he asked.

Summer hesitated and he could see the anger building. The longer it took for her to open her mouth, the worse it was going to be when it finally came out. At least she no longer looked like she was about to cry, so that had to be good. But he couldn't help but think that he was about to be the recipient of his very first rage blackout.

"What do you call moving into another room?"

Ryan was stunned. He'd never imagined that she would be angry because he had given her her space back. He'd done it purely for his own self preservation. It wasn't meant to distance himself from her. Well … it was, but only because he couldn't trust himself when he was that close to her.

"I did that for you. I thought that you'd be pleased," he attempted to explain.

"Well I'm not. I liked things as they were. And now, you can't…or won't talk to me. Why not? We talk about anything and everything. At least I do. But suddenly you want to shut me out."

Ryan shook his head. Looking at it from her point of view, he could see how she might feel that way, but that wasn't his intention.

"There was never any question that I would tell you whatever you wanted to know. I just didn't want to spoil our evening together by talking about Taylor. If it will make you feel better, then fire away. I'll answer anything you want," he responded clearly.

He just wanted things back to normal between them. Their relationship was something that he cherished and he would do anything to keep it intact, even if it meant dredging up the painful memories of his split from Taylor.

Summer had the good grace to look guilty. She knew that she had pressured him into it. And yet she still needed to know. It was eating away at her.

"What happened with you and Taylor?"

Ryan's face grew dark as he recalled what had happened. He tried to think of a way to keep it short, but knew Summer would have questions.

"Do you want the long or the short version?"

Summer noticed how uncomfortable he looked and placed her hand back on his.

"Why don't you tell me everything. Then it'll be done and we never have to talk about it again," she replied. She could see how difficult this was for him, but she needed to know it all, otherwise she'd still lie awake at nights trying to fill in the gaps.

Ryan looked down and threaded their fingers together, gaining strength from the connection. He looked back up at her and sighed. He could do this.

"I'm not sure how much you already know. You and Seth had been married awhile and Seth kept telling me how happy you were and that marriage was the best thing that he'd ever done. Looking back, I realise that I was lonely and I guess that maybe I was jealous."

"You shouldn't have been. I think our honeymoon period lasted about two months before we started to have problems. If Seth was telling you that everything was perfect, then he was lying," Summer commented.

Ryan shrugged.

"I didn't know that. I still believed everything he told me back then," Ryan explained, then squeezing Summer's fingers he went on.

"Taylor and I had been trying the long distance thing again. When we managed to be together, it seemed to be good, but whenever we were apart, I felt like there was this huge distance between us that wasn't just physical. I wanted to fix it, but I didn't know how. Her birthday was coming up, so I decided to surprise her by flying to France for the weekend. I knew that she would never expect it because I hate flying so much. I agonized over a gift for her and finally decided that if marriage made Seth happy, maybe it was what we needed, too."

Summer already knew most of this. Seth had told her after Ryan and Taylor had broken up that Ryan had been ready to propose. What she didn't understand was why Taylor had never mentioned it. She guessed that something must have happened and Ryan hadn't gone through with it.

"I took the overnight flight, arrived in Paris early in the morning, and went straight to her dorm. I was hoping that we'd be able to spend the day together. But when I knocked, there was no answer. I tried a couple more times in case she was just asleep, but there was still no answer, so I settled myself on the floor outside the door to wait for her to come home. I was there maybe an hour when her roommate returned. She was looking a little worse for wear and had apparently been out all night. She let me in and ….."

Ryan zoned out.

Summer could see that he was remembering something that was obviously painful but they'd come this far.

"And ...?" she prompted.

"You really want to do this?" Ryan checked again. He couldn't see any point in going through it all again.

Summer squeezed his hand hoping to give him strength.

"Yeah, I do. Once and for all. And then it's over," she replied. She treasured her relationship with Ryan too much to let it be damaged by misunderstandings. If she got the abbreviated version then she'd be forever wondering what had really gone on. She needed to know it all.

Ryan looked out at a point on the horizon, obviously not wanting to make eye contact and picked up the story again.

"The door to Taylor's bedroom was wide open. She was buck naked, sitting astride Henri Michel who was tied to the headboard, riding him like a bronco. Her roommate tried to interrupt, but Taylor was so caught up in the throes of her passion that she didn't even realize that we were standing there. Her roomy finally gave up and left. I got the distinct feeling that this had happened before, and she was used to not being acknowledged. It wasn't until Taylor had climaxed and collapsed on top of him that there was any chance of getting through to her."

"It was actually Henri Michel that first noticed me standing there," Ryan admitted as he recalled the horrible scene.

"_Ryan, fancy seeing you in Paris," Henri Michel said, the smirk on his face just begging to be wiped off._

"But I was pissed at Taylor, not him. Plus he was already tied up. Where would the sport be in that?"

"Taylor had now seen me standing there watching. I wanted to turn and walk away, but something was keeping me there. It was almost like my feet were cemented to the floor. It was like a nightmare that you can't wake up from."

"_Ryan, what are you doing here?" she asked surprised, but without a hint of guilt._

"_It's your birthday," I said, as if that comment alone would make sense._

"_I know. Henri Michel came over last night with a bag of goodies and we started the celebrations early. But the Viagra will keep him going for a few hours yet," she said as she got off Henri Michel, leaving him tied to the bed, his erection still standing proud and glistening with a mixture of her juices and his cum. _

"She moved over towards me where I was standing by the door."

"_And now, with you here, it could be the best birthday ever. I've always wanted to do it with two guys. Sure I played around a bit with Sung Ho and his cousin after the Prom, but that wasn't the same thing. I've heard that it's possible to have two guys inside you at once, and I've always wanted to try it. It'll be awkward at first, but it is my birthday after all," she said gleefully._

"She tried to take my shirt off, but as soon as she touched me, whatever was holding me there dissolved. I turned away, picked up my bag and walked out."

Summer kept her jaw from dropping. She couldn't believe it. Ryan took a deep breath and continued.

"_Where are you going?" Taylor asked._

"_Anywhere. As long as it's away from you," I answered._

"_But why? Surely you're not upset about Henri Michel being here?"_

"I turned to glare at her. I think my expression said it all."

"_You didn't really expect me to remain celibate all the time we were apart?" Taylor asked disbelievingly._

"_You said that you were."_

"_I told you what you wanted to hear. You know that I'm highly sexual, and it seems to work just fine for you when it suits you. But I have needs. You can't tell me that you haven't got some little fuck buddy back in Berkeley that keeps you amused when I'm not there? Henri Michel knows that you're my boyfriend, not him," she said, attempting to reassure him, as if that would make any difference._

"I headed for the door wanting to put as much distance as possible between me and them as quickly as I could. I heard her calling me, asking me to come back, but that wasn't gonna happen."

Ryan stared out at the distance and Summer noticed him trying to put a nonchalance to his words. But it didn't ring true. He'd been deeply hurt.

"Talk about a stroke of luck. If I hadn't gone to Paris, I never would have found out what she was really like, and what she was capable of."

"On my way out, I put my hand in my pocket and felt the ring box there. So much for marriage and happier ever after, huh? I pulled the box out and threw it in the first trash can I passed.

He sighed deeply.

"I flew home and haven't spoken to her since."

Summer didn't know what to say. She'd thought that maybe Taylor was playing around, but she couldn't imagine what Ryan must have felt like to witness it. Like that. Even worse, he'd been asked to join in. Whatever shred of loyalty she'd had left for her once friend was now totally gone.

Ryan's head was down, and Summer had a twinge of regret that she'd pushed him to explain. But she felt better knowing the whole story, and hoped that Ryan would feel better having told her. She moved closer to him and put her arm around his shoulders to offer some comfort.

"I know that it hurts. But it was for the best, right? It would have been much worse if you'd found out what she was really like after you were married."

Ryan looked out across the pond in front of them.

"I know. But I can't help feeling like I'm some sort of failure because I wasn't enough for her."

"She must have rocks in her head. I think that you're perfect."

Ryan glanced at her. He knew that she was just being nice, but he wanted to read so much into those words. Things that he knew that he shouldn't. Being with her was everything that he'd always wanted in a partner.

They could talk about anything and everything. From politics to animal welfare to art to cheating ex-girlfriends. Nothing was off limits.

They could laugh together, and often did, either at other things or at one another.

She could have him sexually charged within moments without even trying. Just the thought of the way that she looked in the morning, with her hair all tousled from sleep and her eyes like liquid chocolate was enough to have him sporting wood. And yet spending time with her could also be the most relaxing way to pass the day.

He loved every minute that he spent with her. Even this was easier because she was there. But she was still Seth's ex-wife, and he had to remember that. Otherwise, it could get REALLY complicated.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: So it seems that there is someone out there interested in this story. I thought that maybe my making Seth the bad guy had turned everyone off. _

_Thank you very much to those of you that let me know that you're enjoying it. I'm really not one of those people that needs constant encouragement (I've already finished writing it) but when I couldn't get even 1 review, I did wonder why I was bothering. Anyhow, bottom line is that while someone is taking interest, then I'll keep posting. Enjoy!_

_-- _

13.

"Hi,honey."

"Kirsten? What is it? Is something wrong?" Ryan asked. It was very unusual for her to call on a Tuesday night, and he was immediately concerned.

"No. Nothing like that. We just wanted to let you know about some things that have happened, and we didn't want to wait until your phone call tomorrow."

"Okay," Ryan replied, now curious. It must be important if it couldn't wait 24 hours.

"I'll let Sandy explain. He's better at that sort of thing."

Ryan was now even more puzzled. Why wouldn't Kirsten tell him?

"Okay. Put him on," Ryan replied.

"Not yet. I have a couple of things I need to talk to you about, and once I give him the phone, I'll never get it back," Kirsten said jokingly, and Ryan couldn't help but smile, knowing she was right.

He could envision them in the kitchen of the Berkeley house, both standing there wanting to speak to him at the same time. They used to do the same thing when they called Seth when he was away at RISD.

"First, I wanted to thank you on Sophie's behalf for the teddy bear you sent her last week. She loves it. Not surprisingly, she's named him Teddy and they are inseparable. She's over at one of her friend's houses playing, and of course he had to go with her. She even took him to school for Show and Tell yesterday."

Ryan relaxed a little. If Kirsten was happy to chat about Sophie then whatever was the reason for the call, it couldn't be too serious.

"I'm glad that she liked it."

"That's putting it mildly. I think that you could send her a smelly sock and just because it came from you, it would still be a favourite. She misses you terribly."

Ryan laughed. But he was secretly pleased that he still held a special place in Sophie's heart.

"I miss her, too. That's why I can't help but look inside when I pass a toy store. And I always seem to find something with her name on it."

"I know. But you shouldn't keep sending her things. She's already spoiled enough. Between you and Sandy …"

"And not you?" Ryan teased.

"Moi? Maybe a little. But it's a mother's right to buy things for her little girl …"

"Yeah? Well it's a big brother's right to buy things for his little sister."

"Okay. I'll give you that. But let's keep it to one a month. Otherwise when her birthday comes, getting presents won't seem as special."

"Okay. One a month. I can do that."

"Thanks. Maybe then we won't have to move to a bigger house just to hold all her toys."

"Okay. I got the message. Do you want to put Sandy on now?" he prompted, now eager to know the reason for the early call.

"No. Not yet. There's one more thing I want to talk to you about."

"Fire away."

Kirsten hesitated a moment and then began.

"Did you know that Taylor's in town?"

Ryan was instantly on the alert. He had been trying to put all thoughts of Taylor at the back of his mind, but obviously he wasn't going to be able to leave them there.

"Yeah. I did. Seth called and told me the other day."

"I didn't realise that he'd spoken to you," Kirsten commented.

Ryan could tell by her pause that she wanted to know what was said.

"Only briefly," Ryan explained, not wanting to go into detail. After all, Seth had told him to 'get fucked' and hung up on him. Ryan couldn't see any benefit to sharing that with Kirsten. It would only upset her.

"Well, she stopped by last night. I don't know exactly what happened with her, because as always, you weren't talking when you came back from Paris, but she's hoping to patch things up and get back together."

"That's never going to happen."

"But Ryan … she said that she's sorry. I don't know what for, and I didn't feel it was my place to ask, but I believe her. She asked me to pass on the message. Apparently she doesn't have your new cell number. She asked for it, but I thought that I should check with you first."

"I'd rather you didn't give it to her. She's a big part of the reason why I changed it. And even if you do pass it on, I'm not going to talk to her."

Kirsten was surprised by his tone. It certainly sounded like this was non-negotiable. But that didn't make sense. They'd once been so close that she'd imagined that they'd have a future together. And she still felt that they owed Taylor for getting Ryan back on track after Marissa's death.

"But surely you could listen to her," she suggested hopefully.

"Kirsten, I don't trust her and that's all there is to it. It doesn't matter what she has to say; I won't believe it."

"But …"

"No buts about it."

"I just want to see you happy. And she used to make you happy," Kirsten explained.

"Not anymore. I realise now that it was all a lie. Actually back then, I don't think I even knew what I was looking for in a relationship."

"And now you do?" Kirsten asked in disbelief. She was surprised that he sounded so sure of himself.

Ryan instantly thought of Summer and his tone instantly softened.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do," Ryan said.

Kirsten noted the change in his voice.

"Have you met someone?" she asked. Now she was curious.

"Sort of," Ryan replied.

"Why didn't you tell us? I want to know all about her."

This was exciting news. And it was just like Ryan to keep it all to himself.

"There's nothing to tell," Ryan replied.

"What do you mean there's nothing to tell? Is there someone new in your life or not?" she asked again. Now confused.

Ryan didn't know what to say. He couldn't lie, but he couldn't tell the truth either. He knew that Sandy and Kirsten wouldn't understand. And yet there wasn't really anything TO understand. Nothing had happened. There was nothing to tell.

"I realise that what I felt for Taylor wasn't the real thing," Ryan said, hoping to get Kirsten off track.

But Kirsten wasn't easily distracted.

"And how do you know this? Have you met someone else?"

"Well, there is someone I like, but nothing's happened."

"So far," Kirsten added.

Ryan smiled. It was just like Kirsten to be supportive. But if she knew who the person was, then he was sure that she would change her tune.

"So far," Ryan agreed. "And nothing's likely to happen," he informed her. He didn't want her to hold false hope that things could turn out well. He knew otherwise.

"If she isn't interested, then there's clearly something wrong with her," Kirsten stated firmly, as only a mother could.

Ryan couldn't help but smile at her proprietorial tone.

"I assure you there's nothing wrong with her. Nothing at all," Ryan commented indulgently. His mind now filled with thoughts of Summer.

"She's not already married or something is she?" Kirsten asked.

She was fishing for details, as only a mother would. He wasn't surprised.

"'Or something'," Ryan admitted. "It's complicated."

"Then uncomplicate it!" Kirsten replied.

"It's not that easy," Ryan pointed out.

Kirsten could tell from his tone that Ryan now sounded defeated. It didn't sound like he held much hope for getting together with this mystery woman.

"Well then, maybe you should try things again with Taylor," Kirsten suggested.

She wanted to see at least one of her boys settled and happily married. Seth had blown his chance. He was still a long way from growing up. In her mind, Ryan was her only hope.

"No. Now can we drop it? Does Sandy still want to talk to me?" Ryan asked. He was eager to move on and find out what the reason for the call was in the first place.

"Okay," Kirsten replied. She knew when she was beaten. It was apparent that Taylor was going to have her work cut out for her if she thought that she still had a chance with Ryan.

"I'll put him on. Talk to you later?" she asked, wanting to make sure that Ryan held no grudges against her for speaking on Taylor's behalf.

"Sure. But I might call later in the week instead of tomorrow. Maybe the weekend?"

"I'll look forward to it. I'll hand you over to Sandy now."

--

"Hey, my boy. How's things?"

"Hi Sandy. Everything's fine."

"How's that new hospital wing coming along?"

"Good. The final approvals should be through next week and they'll be able to start building."

"I'm looking forward to seeing it go up. You'll have to make sure that you send us some progress pictures along the way."

"Sure. I can do that."

"What's this I hear about a new girlfriend?"

"There's no new girlfriend. It's just Kirsten's wishful thinking."

"You know that we're both not getting any younger. Grandchildren would be nice," Sandy suggested.

"I think Sophie's still a bit young for you to be marrying her off," Ryan teased.

"You know that's not what I was referring to. I think that you'd make a wonderful father."

"How about you give me a chance to get on my feet first? Then I need to find a girl that's prepared to put up with me," Ryan pointed out jokingly.

"I doubt that'll be a problem. From what I can gather from Taylor's visit last night, she'd be ready to fight to the death any other girl that even looks sideways at you. I think that she's just waiting for you to ask."

Ryan sighed. He didn't want to go through this whole thing again.

"Taylor and I are over. For good. Forever. Finito …" Ryan replied, his voice not concealing his anger.

"Hey, hey. You should be telling her that, not me," Sandy said defensively.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you. But I'm hoping to never have speak to her again, so that will be difficult. Now," Ryan started, wanting to change the subject yet again, "What's so important that I get a special phone call?"

Sandy took the hint.

"It's not THAT important. We just thought that we should give you a heads up …"

Sandy was taking his time selecting his words.

"On …" Ryan finally prompted the older man.

"I guess that I should start at the beginning. I was planning on telling you when you came home for Thanksgiving, but certain things have caused us to make some changes and I wanted you to be aware of it … I mean them."

Ryan waited again.

"Sandy, you're not really making sense."

"Okay. I'm sorry. I really will start at the beginning this time," he replied.

"I don't know if you're aware of this, but when you turned twenty-one, Kirsten and I set up a trust for you. Seth already had one from when he was born, and of course Sophie did too."

"Sandy, you don't need to. I don't expect anything …" Ryan started, only to be cut off.

"Ryan, we want you to never doubt that you're our son, in every way that matters. And as such, you'll get your share of everything that's ours, whether you want it or not. The trust allows you to draw on it as soon as you turn twenty-five. Those were the original terms. But as you know, Seth turns twenty-five soon. And of course, Seth being Seth, he's been counting down the weeks until he can get his hands on the money. Considering everything that's happened, we decided that wouldn't be a good idea. Things haven't improved much since you left, and we all know what he would do with it."

Ryan was silent, trying to get his head around everything that Sandy was telling him and wondering where this was leading.

"We decided to change the terms of the trust. Originally, we were just going to do it for Seth's and leave yours. But we knew you'd have to deal with Seth's wrath if he found out that you had control of your money while he was still unable to access his. And so, we've changed both trusts to extend until you turn thirty. We, that is, Kirsten and I, wanted to make sure you knew that this in no way reflects upon you. We trust you totally and if you need the funds for any reason before then, you should let us know."

"Sandy, I don't want your money. You and Kirsten have already done so much for me."

"And you've already done so much for us. We are so proud of you; moving across the country, living in a big city, making your way in the world. We miss you terribly, but it's so nice to have one son that we can be proud of. We owe you more than you'll ever know."

Ryan was choked up by Sandy's kind words and the thought that they were proud of him.

"I'd be nothing without you," Ryan admitted softly.

"The feeling's mutual," Sandy assured him. "Bringing you home was the best thing I ever did."

A few moments of silence passed as Ryan tried to get his emotions under control.

"I've given you plenty of reasons to question that decision," he pointed out.

"Face it, kid. It was obviously meant to be," Sandy replied, sounding a little choked up himself.

"Now, are you okay with not getting your hands on your trust money until you're thirty?" he asked trying to get things back on an even keel.

"Well, considering that I didn't know about it, and that I never expected anything in the first place, I think I'll be fine," Ryan admitted.

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

"Okay. Yes."

"Okay. And if Seth tries to give you a hard time…"

"Don't worry about it. I can handle Seth."


	14. Chapter 14

14

Ryan sat on the sofa after he finished the call, the TV flashing in front of him. He'd been attempting to watch football, but he couldn't concentrate. He shut the TV off so that he could think through all the things running around in his head. It wasn't just the call from Berkeley, but it had brought everything to the forefront. His mind was a jumbled mess and he had to sort it out. He couldn't go on like this.

How did he get here?

How did the kid from Chino, who often went without food as a child because his Mom had spent all they had either gambling or on booze, end up with a trust fund?

He had no idea how much it was and he didn't care. He never intended to use it. But Sandy and Kirsten treating him as one of their own children meant more to him than any amount of money ever could.

The meaning of money was so different to the Cohen's than it was to him. It wasn't that he didn't value it. If anything, he valued it more because he'd spent a good part of his life without it. He knew what it was like to have nothing. It had made him appreciate having money and he was careful how he spent it. But it also meant that he knew just how little he needed. It wasn't as important to him as it was to someone like Seth. Ryan's needs were pretty basic. He knew that if he needed to, then he could survive with very little.

That didn't mean that he didn't enjoy having a job that paid well; a job that allowed him to live in an upper class apartment in a great location in Manhattan. And thanks to Summer and her dad, he was managing to save a big chunk of his salary. He planned to start repaying the Cohen's back for his college education in the near future.

But he still had trouble wrapping his head around the idea of a trust fund with his name on it and the fact that the Cohen's thought enough of him to set it up in the first place. Not that he wouldn't give them everything he owned, including the shirt off his back if they needed it, such was his level of indebtedness and gratitude to them.

But he knew that this trust fund business would only make things worse with Seth. He wondered if Seth even knew that his parents had started a trust for Ryan. Probably not, he figured, because in the last year or so, things between them had grown increasingly strained, and if Seth had known about it, he would definitely have used it to throw in a dig or two. The temptation would have been too great.

Ryan knew that once Sandy and Kirsten informed Seth that he wouldn't be getting his hands on his trust fund, there was a good chance that they would mention that Ryan's had been changed also, and once Seth knew, it was only a matter of time before things worsened between them.

As if they could get much worse.

He wondered when things had started to go wrong.

Looking back, he realized that the gaps had started to appear in their relationship when Seth went away to college. Seth had grown up eagerly waiting for the time when he could head to the East Coast and get out of the Newport bubble. But once he had his chance, and got out, he found that he didn't enjoy it nearly as much as he'd thought he would.

And somehow that had ended up being Ryan's fault.

It seemed that Seth's problems making friends, which was a problem all through his childhood, didn't magically disappear by flying across the country. He was miserable without Ryan. And Summer was working with GEORGE and was rarely around.

It would have been easier for Seth to deal with had Ryan been miserable too. But Ryan had managed to blend into college life well. Thanks to his roommate, Ryan had gotten involved in set design and construction for the college theatre group, which, along with study, took up most of his time. They were a great bunch of people who were very social and Ryan enjoyed being a part of something. What free time he did have, he spent at the Cohen's. It was important to him to be around for Sophie's upbringing, so he made a point of spending at least a few hours with her every week. Baby sitting duty was never a chore. He loved it.

Which of course only caused more problems with Seth.

Seth insisted that Ryan had the 'perfect' college experience. He lived in the dorms at Berkeley, which gave him the freedom that most young adults craved. And he got to spend time at home as well.

Taylor had left for France again, so he had the additional advantage of being unattached. So he could 'entertain' young women whenever he pleased; which, of course, he did.

Seth and Summer were still an item, even though she wasn't there most of the time, and Seth was unable to use casual sex as an avenue for enjoyment. So he tried to live vicariously through Ryan, pressuring him into details of his latest conquests, which of course Ryan hated.

It was only a matter of time before he told Seth to stop asking about his love life and go and find something to keep himself amused.

Unfortunately, Seth took Ryan literally and went and hooked up with the campus whore, who was more than willing.

The night he called Ryan to brag about it was the first time Ryan could actually remember being happy that there was a whole country between them. If Seth had been in Berkeley, he wouldn't have been able to restrain himself. Seth would have gotten a good old fashioned Kid Chino beating.

He couldn't believe that Seth would cheat on Summer. And … be happy, even proud of it.

To this day, he had no idea if Summer knew about Seth's cheating back then, but he knew there would be nothing gained by sharing the knowledge.

Unfortunately, Ryan being angry with him did nothing to slow Seth down. If anything, it actually egged him on. It seemed that he'd decided to live by the creed "If the cat's away, the mice can play." And play he did.

Seth may not have had any real friends, but he quickly found that as long as he had a decent supply of pot, there was always someone prepared to spend time with him, as long as he was sharing. If they happened to be female and he ended the evening between their legs, even better.

But Seth quickly learned to keep his activities to himself. He was disappointed that Ryan couldn't see that he was only trying to make his life on the East Coast bearable. He insisted that if the tables were turned, he would have supported Ryan.

But the fact that Seth would try and justify what he did only made Ryan angrier.

Their calls got fewer and fewer, and even the time they spent together at the holidays was strained. Fortunately, Ryan always made sure he had a job lined up before Seth arrived in Berkeley. That helped to lessen the time they spent together.

Seth also started to spend less and less time in Berkeley.

He always had a reason to cut his visits short. Either he wanted to spend some time in Newport catching up with Summer, which was pretty ridiculous, considering how much he 'hated' being there. Or he had some 'commitment' back at RISD that he needed to head back for.

Ryan quickly realized Seth's real 'commitment'. He didn't like to be away from his supplier for too long.

Seth was failing courses at RISD, and his solution was to enrol in others. Ryan now suspected that Seth rarely made it to class and had graduated from the occasional joint, to partying with something much stronger, probably coke. But he had no proof.

He still felt guilty that he hadn't gotten more involved with 'The Seth Problem' back then. Maybe if they'd caught it earlier, things wouldn't be where they were today. But he really didn't know what he could have done to stop it. Not when they lived on opposite sides of the country.

Seth being away so much only led to another problem.

Sophie barely knew who he was.

She grew up thinking of Ryan as her brother and Seth as someone who dropped by every now and then. Given the choice, she would always choose to spend her time with Ryan over Seth.

From Kirsten's remarks, Ryan guessed that not much had changed. It seemed that he was still the favourite brother, and he was pleased to be. But should he feel guilty about that too?

He loved Sophie Rose to bits. She'd grown by leaps and bounds, and Ryan had been there for all her milestones; her first tooth, her first step, her first day of school. Being at Berkeley for college and then staying on there for his graduate studies had made that possible. Seth had come home for vacations and holidays, but because of his absences, he'd never been able to put a dent in the Sophie/Ryan connection, and he was really angry about that. He thought that he deserved to be the favourite brother. After all, he was the one with the same genes. Again, it was something else that he could blame Ryan for.

It was part of the reason why Ryan had decided to leave Berkeley – to give Seth a chance to bond with his sister. While Ryan was available, Sophie was never interested in spending time with Seth. He'd hoped that once he was out of the picture, she'd spend more time with Seth and they could get closer. But it seemed that Seth living at home and Ryan being away hadn't changed a thing. Sophie still preferred Ryan.

By the time Seth and Summer got married, he and Seth were really struggling to maintain any sort of relationship. It didn't come naturally anymore. He could still remember the horrible fight they'd had on the evening before the wedding. Ryan had tried to get Seth to promise that he would stay clean and never cheat on Summer.

Of course, Seth had taken offence that Ryan would even think such a thing. But Ryan now knew from what Summer had told him that Seth lasted no more than a couple of months before he was back to his old ways.

And that only made Ryan feel even guiltier. He should have been able to stop it from happening. But how?

When she married Seth, Summer had been put in a position where she'd had to cope with Seth's problems. They had become her problems too. Seth had continued to light up and when she'd challenged him, he'd resorted to lying to try to cover his tracks. She had to deal with his lies, and that wasn't fair to her.

Ryan didn't know if Seth was cheating on her also, and he didn't want to ask, but he suspected that if Seth had gone back to partying with his 'friends', then he probably was. Summer only admitted to him that it was Seth's lying that had finally caused her to put an end to their relationship; just what he was lying about, Ryan hadn't asked.

Ryan wished there was a way to get his brother back. He would never have imagined that he would end up being closer to Luke than Seth, but that's the way that it was at the moment, and he couldn't see it changing anytime soon.

But he couldn't afford to do anything that would make matters worse.

He contemplated what would happen if Seth found out that he was living with Summer. Even though nothing had happened between them, Seth would see it as a betrayal. No question about it. He felt guilty for keeping it secret.

But telling him would only make things worse.

He felt guilty that he didn't tell Kirsten who the 'mystery woman' was; the one woman who had shown him what he really wanted in a relationship.

But that would only make things worse.

Not revealing to Sandy why he didn't need any money, because his living arrangements meant that he wasn't paying rent right now, made him feel guilty.

But what would Sandy think if he knew the real story?

Ryan rubbed his brow. As usual, too much thinking was bringing on a new headache.

He knew that the only answer was for him to move out and sever all ties with Summer.

But he couldn't do that. She meant too much to him. Correction, she meant everything to him.

But he couldn't give up the Cohen's either.

Add to that his concern about Taylor being back in Berkeley.

Shit, as if he needed any more complications. Kirsten was sure that Taylor wanted him back, but he wanted no part of her. What was he going to do about her? He put that on the back burner. One unresolved issue at a time, he reasoned.

Trying to change topics and think of something else, something more pleasurable, in hopes of abating the headache, he allowed thoughts of Summer to flood his mind.

But even thoughts of her brought back uncomfortable memories.

She was in Washington DC. Had been for a few weeks.

But things on her last visit hadn't gone as well as he'd hoped.

Thinking back to the visit to Central Park and revealing to her what had happened between he and Taylor couldn't really be termed fun. But he was glad that she now knew. All of it. It somehow made it easier for him. And they had enjoyed each other's company.

She'd started to tell him a little of her issues with Seth. But she sensed that it only put Ryan in an awkward position, so she'd clammed up and kept the rest to herself. Ryan regretted that he hadn't been able to offer her the same sympathetic ear that she'd given to him. All because of his loyalty to Seth.

But it hadn't gone well when he tried to explain his motivation for furnishing the spare bedroom.

He was surprised that she'd been so persistent in trying to get him to come back and share her bed. She'd decided that it meant that he was somehow turned off by her. In truth, it was the exact opposite. But it was better that she believed that, since he couldn't tell her the real reason.

Whatever it took to ensure that he wasn't going to be lying awake in her electrically charged bed (as he found it whenever she was there). Although now that she was away, he had taken to sleeping on her side. He could still smell her scent that lingered there and he allowed himself the indulgence while she was away.

But she was coming home for the weekend, it was her birthday, and he had to think of something to get for her.

He knew that she didn't want jewelry; she'd already said that she had too much that she never wore. But he didn't want to buy something for the apartment. That would be like buying something for himself since they both shared it. And it wouldn't really mean anything.

He wanted it to be just for her.

And it had to be special.

--


	15. Chapter 15

15.

I gazed out at the blurry lights whizzing by the taxi window trying to still the butterflies in my stomach. Why was I so nervous?

It's not like this was a date or anything.

I was going to meet my friends. For a drink to celebrate my birthday. There'd be people from GEORGE there. Friends from college who now worked in New York. Even Celeste from next door had accepted the invitation, although I guessed that had more to do with the guy seated beside me than any genuine interest in helping me celebrate being a year older.

Who could blame her?

I would have been happy to have stayed at home and celebrated with just him.

Since Ryan moved in, I hadn't socialised with anyone, and my friends had started to complain. They were starting to wonder about me.

Hell, even I was starting to wonder about me.

I didn't want to do anything but spend time with Ryan.

I'd finally accepted that he didn't feel the same degree of interest that I did, but it didn't matter. I was so pathetic that I'd take what I could get. Any time spent with him was better than time spent with anyone else.

And thankfully, he seemed to enjoy spending time with me too. Whenever I was in town, we spent all our time together. I imagined that he caught up with his friends when I was away.

I wondered what my friends would have to say about Ryan once they'd met him. He was a good looking guy, so there was sure to be plenty of comments of appreciation from the ladies. But he was a guy's guy too, so I knew he'd hit it off with the men without a problem as well.

I couldn't help but wish that this was a date, and I was taking him to meet my friends and show him off. I would be showing him off. It's just that unfortunately, we weren't a 'couple'.

I thought back over the day that we'd had so far. It couldn't have been better.

Ryan had greeted me with breakfast in bed. And not just any breakfast.

He'd made me Eggs Benedict; my favourite. He'd taken note of something that I'd said on a previous visit, and he'd been making them every weekend that I'd been away in DC, practicing the Hollandaise sauce so that it would be just right for my birthday. His time wasn't wasted. It was perfect.

No one had ever taken the time to do something like that for me before.

Sure, my dad loved me. But his way of showing it was showering me with expensive gifts; whatever money could buy. He meant well, and I always appreciated whatever he bought me.

But Ryan had a completely different outlook on life. Maybe it was because he'd never had a lot of money growing up; I had no idea. But he made my day by spoiling me in an entirely different way, and I knew which one I preferred.

He'd obviously spent all his free time during the week cleaning the apartment because it was practically shining. Then, by the time that he'd woken me with breakfast, he'd already done the laundry that I'd brought home with me. So, I had nothing that I had to do.

While I was eating breakfast, he'd run a bath for me, and while he did the dishes, I soaked in scented oils that he'd gotten for me.

Then came his big surprise.

He'd suggested that we go for a picnic and I instantly assumed that we were headed back to Central Park. That was until he walked out with my gift.

It was such a thoughtful present. I turned to him, sitting in the darkened car beside me.

"Thank you again for my bike. I love it."

Ryan smiled. "It was my pleasure. I hope that you get to use it a lot."

"I'm not about to join a cycling club. But as long as you're running beside me, then I'll happily be there."

"That was my plan," Ryan replied, smiling into the semi-dark.

Summer felt her heart swell at his words. It was the first positive indication that he wanted their time together to continue.

The four week trial period that started this whole thing had come and gone and he was still there. She'd been scared to bring it up. She didn't want him to misinterpret her, and think that it was her way of asking him to leave. As long as he was still there, she had no intention of rocking the boat.

"You know, now that you have your own bike, we can try new places. Battery Park is a good place to ride, and it's much closer. But when you're feeling adventurous, we could go try the Hudson River Bike Path."

"That goes forever," I responded, thinking about the stories that I'd heard.

Ryan chuckled.

"We don't have to do it all at once."

"Okay. I guess at least I get to do it on wheels while you only have legs."

"Exactly."

"Do we get catered gourmet picnic hampers like we did today?"

"No. That was a special treat because it was your birthday. If you had it every time, it wouldn't be special."

"A basket of food like that would always be special," I pointed out. It really had been amazing.

"True."

"It's a good thing that I did get to ride for a while today. If I ate like that too often, I'd end up with an extra large derriere."

"I promise to keep an eye on your derriere and let you know if it's getting too big."

"Such a gentleman. But you know that sounds really pervy."

"What can I say? It comes naturally."

Summer was surprised by his comment. Was Ryan actually flirting? They'd had a glass or two of champagne in a private celebration before they left the apartment. Maybe it had gone to his head? He was in a really good mood, and had been all day. Could things finally be changing for them?

--

Summer stood watching Ryan. He'd barely been off the dance floor all night. For someone who professed not to enjoy dancing, he was having quite the time. But it wasn't like he had a choice. As soon as her friends found out that he was unattached and available, it was only a matter of minutes before his dance card was full to overflowing. Right now he was dancing with Kate.

As she'd expected, Celeste had made her intentions quite clear. But her interest was thwarted by the large group of Summer's other friends eager to dance with the new hot guy.

Summer smiled indulgently. She was sure that Ryan hadn't suddenly developed a love for dancing. It was more likely that he was doing his best to keep her friends happy.

She sighed. If only she could clone him, then they could all be happy. And she'd make one for herself as well.

There was a twinge of jealousy running through her because she wasn't the one dancing with Ryan. But what would be the point? It's not like it would lead anywhere. Ryan's move into the spare room had made that quite obvious, along with his insistence on staying there whenever she was in town. And yet his comments in the taxi on the way here still rang in her mind. What was that all about? They didn't seem like the comments of a disinterested room mate. Or was that just wishful thinking on her part?

As soon as her friends laid eyes on him, the interrogation began. They guessed correctly that he was the reason that she'd been missing in action recently and they also assumed that she had decided it was time to move on after Seth.

They were right. She had decided to move on. But who she wanted to move on with wasn't available. At least not to her.

And yet she knew there was something there… between them. She just couldn't figure out exactly what it was.

Ryan glanced up at her and their eyes met and held.

The song came to an end and Ryan turned his attention back to Kate, and Summer couldn't help but be disappointed. She could have sworn that there was some sort of hidden message in that glance. But then as she continued to study him, he broke away from Kate and started to move towards her.

She was standing by the bar; he was probably just thirsty and looking for a drink. But as he got closer, the look between them intensified. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She was the one that needed a cool drink now. Her eyes were fixed to his as he came to stand beside her.

"What's my chance of getting a dance with the birthday girl?"

Summer tried to tell her racing heart; this meant nothing. He'd danced with every unattached female there. But she couldn't seem to stop it. She didn't even answer; she just smiled as Ryan put his arm around her waist and guided her onto the dance floor.

Once there, she hesitated, but Ryan moved to pull her into his arms. She melted into him, her arms around his neck, her face against his chest. She could smell his distinctive scent and it brought a stirring in the pit of her stomach and between her legs. She couldn't even tell when the music started or what was playing. All that mattered was Ryan and the feelings that were coursing through her. Her knees were weak and if he let her go, she was sure she would collapse to the floor in a gooey mess.

They moved as one and Summer could feel her body on high alert. Every fibre of her being was attuned to him. She wanted to move her leg between his to see if his body was reacting like hers. Her nipples were hardened buds and she knew that her breath was shortening.

The music came to an end much too soon and Summer hesitated unsure what she should do. She had to remind herself where she was because what she felt like doing was something that would have her arrested in public.

Had Ryan changed his mind? Were her feelings reciprocated?

She pulled back slightly to look into his eyes, but instead of seeing the want she felt for him reflected back at her, all she could see was anguish and pain.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry," Ryan said, turning away and heading for the bathroom.

Summer stood woodenly watching his retreating form.

What happens now?

--

Ryan stood at the sink, throwing handfuls of cold water on his face as he forced himself to breathe deeply, his pounding heart not cooperating.

What was he thinking? That was too close. If he hadn't been distracted by the DJ's curly black hair, who knows what might have happened? He could only assume that the alcohol that he'd consumed, even though it wasn't that much, had allowed him to drop his defences; that and the fact that she looked absolutely amazing.

He'd given in to what he wanted and danced with her. But things with Seth were already bad enough; he couldn't allow himself to get any closer to her. He had to keep his guard up and keep his distance or who knew where it would end?

He felt bad about deserting her on the dance floor, but it was a moment of pure self preservation.

Glancing in the mirror to see if his need for her was as obvious to everyone else as it was to him, he noticed one of the guys from GEORGE that he'd been introduced to earlier in the evening watching his reflection in the mirror.

"Ryan, isn't it?"

"Yeah. And you're …"

"Tom," the guy supplied.

"Right. You work with Summer," Ryan commented.

"Yeah. That's right. But it's a bit more than that," Tom responded, obviously wanting to talk, but having trouble finding where to start.

Ryan waited to see what was coming.

"I don't know how well you know Summer …." Tom started looking at Ryan's reflection in the mirror.

"I know her pretty well," Ryan replied, wondering where this conversation was headed.

"She's still getting over her divorce. She isn't ready to start dating yet," Tom supplied.

Ryan didn't know whether to take this guy seriously or laugh in his face. He was obviously being warned off. Should he be thankful that Summer had someone looking out for her? Or should he be angry that the guy thought Ryan was interested in her? Even if he was, he'd thought he'd done pretty well to hide it….at least up until a few minutes ago.

"But when she is, I'm at the top of the list," Tom added, just to make his intentions clear. He WAS warning Ryan off.

Ryan knew that he should think it was good that someone else was interested in Summer. If she was involved with someone, it wouldn't be the same temptation that it was now. But the surge of jealousy that ran through his veins at the thought of Summer with anyone else was a surprise, even to him.

"I'll keep it in mind," Ryan replied, drying his hands and leaving the room.

--

Summer stood still on the dance floor after Ryan deserted her. What happened? Things had been going well, really well. She thought that they had finally connected and then …

She glanced after his retreating form wondering what to do.

Fortunately, Amber, Summer's old roommate from Brown, noticed the exchange and came and grabbed Summer's arm, leading her from the dance floor to a unoccupied corner of the bar where they could talk.

"Okay. So tell me the real story," she prompted. Amber had never been one to mince words.

"What real story?" Summer replied defensively.

"About you and Ryan," she supplied.

"There is no me and Ryan," Summer replied, hoping to disguise the defeat she felt from showing in her tone.

"I'm not buying it. Whoever he is, he's not just a 'friend' from Newport."

Summer blushed. She didn't know what to say.

"He is a friend from Newport," she insisted. That much at least was true.

"Uh huh. And …"

Summer shrugged.

"It's complicated."

"It doesn't look too complicated to me. You want him, he …" Amber started only to be cut off by Summer.

"Doesn't want me," Summer finished.

"You're wrong. From the looks he's been giving you all night, I'd say exactly the opposite."

Summer frowned.

"What are you talking about? Up until a few minutes ago, he'd basically ignored me all night. He danced with everyone but me. Hell, even you danced with him a few times," Summer pointed out, her jealousy showing through.

"Yeah, he did. But in a big brother kind of way. I know the difference, believe me. I've seen it all. I couldn't even get to square one with him. I had already planned a spot for his photo on my wall when he shut me down completely. It was a major jolt to my ego; that never happens. But it's my own fault. I should have realized. He couldn't take his eyes off you."

Summer didn't know what to think. Surely Amber had it wrong.

"I'm sorry that you didn't get anywhere with him. I know what it feels like to be rejected by him."

"I find that hard to believe. The guy wants you. He does. His eyes follow you around the room even when he's dancing with someone else."

"He's probably just looking out for me … being protective. That's just the way he is," Summer explained.

"Bullshit. He was almost drooling. So what's the deal?"

Summer didn't know whether to believe her friend or not. She wanted to. But …

"You remember Seth?" Summer asked.

"How could I forget? Shitfaced, stoned, cheating …" Amber started.

Summer cut her off. She had enough of her own adjectives to describe Seth.

"Do you remember Chino?" Summer asked.

Amber hesitated for a moment, thinking back.

"Wasn't that Seth's sort of brother? The one that got him out of all the jams and stuff?"

"Yeah. That's him. All around good guy. Well, Chino's real name is Ryan."

"Fuck! That's asshat's brother?"

Summer nodded.

"Fuck! I mean fuck!" Amber said again, her vocabulary deserting her completely.

"Exactly," Summer replied, trying to keep her friend calm. She didn't need anyone overhearing their discussion.

"So …." Amber started, her mind overloading.

"Yeah," Summer replied. She knew that she didn't need to explain anymore. Amber knew the whole story. It was pretty plain that there was no future for them.

"That was really unexpected," Amber commented. "But I can see that him being asshat's brother could complicate things, even if the attraction is there."

"Yeah," Summer responded.

"But why does it have to?" Amber added. "He's hot. You're hot. It's a match made in heaven," she supplied simplistically.

"But we can't ... he won't …" Summer started. Surely Amber could see what was glaringly obvious to her.

"You can … and of course, he will. He's a guy. A guy who can't keep his eyes off you. He's already halfway there. Don't make this out to be a big thing. Offer him sex without strings. It's always worked for me."

Summer looked at her friend. If only things could be that easy.

--


	16. Chapter 16

16

Ryan was cleaning up the kitchen. Dinner was in the oven and would be done in about thirty minutes. He only had to get the salad together before Summer got there for everything to be ready. He was proud of the fact that he now had quite a repertoire of dishes that he could manage competently. When he'd moved to New York he'd had to learn to cook, mostly out of necessity, since he was basically living on his own and there was no one else around to cook for him, but also to save money, since eating out was really expensive. What surprised him was how much he enjoyed it now. So much so that he'd decided to sign himself and Summer up for a course of Thai cooking lessons. It would be something that they could enjoy learning together, and he was always looking for ways to spend more time with her.

He couldn't help but wonder what Trey would think if he could see him now.

He didn't know why Trey was on his mind so much lately. Maybe it was because he was wondering what he could do about his relationship with his other brother. Not that the situation with Trey would offer any solutions. A girl had been the reason that he and Trey never spoke now, and he didn't want the same thing to happen with Seth.

Fortunately, Summer had returned to DC the day after her birthday. There was thankfully no time for them to be awkward with each other, like when they had danced at her party.

He still couldn't believe that he'd let his guard down. He remembered vividly what it was like to hold her close. She fit so perfectly against his body, as if it was meant to be. His breath shortened and his heart raced from just the recall. They hadn't discussed it at all before she left, and that was probably for the best. But how was he going to deal with it when she came home again, and they were in the same room?

All he knew for sure was that this couldn't go any further. They needed to stay exactly what they were to each other. Good friends. He valued their friendship too much to risk losing it, and he had to keep reminding himself that getting closer could only lead to trouble.

But wanting her and knowing he couldn't have her was like treading water. He had kept it up for so long, he was exhausted. Most of the time he felt like he was barely keeping his head together. His need for Summer was threatening to engulf him.

Complicating things even more was the fact that there was a distinct possibility that Summer was interested too, if her actions the night of the party were any indication. Maybe it was the champagne that caused it, but he'd felt her respond in his arms. He'd pulled back and stopped it though, no matter how much he wanted it. He could tell from their conversations now, after that night, that she was holding back too. She knew there was no future for them just as he did. It had to be that way.

Whenever they'd spoken over the last couple of weeks, they'd kept to purely innocent topics. They had to. Anything else would be fraught with danger. But he couldn't help but hope that there might be a chance for them. He knew that what he felt for her wasn't some passing infatuation, and had to hold out some hope; hope that at some point in time, Seth would turn his life around and move on; maybe even find a new love. He probably still wouldn't be happy about Ryan and Summer being together, but at least he'd have his own life to live.

Ryan would be happy to put up with Seth's wrath. After all, wasn't he doing that already? But he didn't want to be the cause of more downward spiralling, and he was sure information like that would do it, in Seth's current state. It would create more problems for the family, and Ryan didn't want to be the reason for that.

Putting the last of the utensils in the dishwasher, he turned to admire the clean counter when he heard his phone ring. Pulling it from his pocket, he glanced at the caller id and instantly stiffened.

This would be interesting.

"Seth. How's it going?"

He tried to sound upbeat, but it wasn't easy. It seemed that whenever they spoke these days it always ended badly, often with insults and one hanging up on the other.

"I was fine up until a little while ago, but then I found out something, something that I'm having trouble believing."

Ryan waited, but Seth obviously wanted him to ask.

"And that was?" Ryan asked.

"Or maybe it's not surprising if …" Seth said and let the sentence fade off.

"If ..? " Ryan prompted.

"If your intention was to stick it to me. Then, it wouldn't surprise me at all."

Ryan shook his head. He had a feeling that he knew what this was about. He'd been hoping that Seth wouldn't find out, but no such luck.

"You know I wouldn't do that," Ryan said, trying to remain calm. He'd done nothing wrong and he wasn't going to let Seth make it seem otherwise.

"I know nothing of the sort. I'm starting to think that I don't know you at all."

Ryan was about to reply that Seth knew him better than anyone, but he realised that was no longer the case. Summer had taken over that position and it was a startling revelation. He was closer to her now than he'd ever been to Seth. She listened to him. Seth had always talked at him.

He had to find something else to say.

"I've never done anything but support you, you know that," Ryan responded. He was hurt that Seth could so quickly forget all that Ryan had done for him over the years.

"Support? That's a joke. I called you last week looking for support. You gave me nothing," Seth responded angrily.

"Yeah, you called last week; but it wasn't for support, it was for money," Ryan corrected.

"And you told me you had none to spare," Seth replied, the anger still clear in his voice.

"I didn't."

"Bullshit. You gave the 'rents ten grand. What's that all about?"

"I owed it to them. You're the one that keeps reminding me just how much. I'm trying to put a dent in it," Ryan explained.

"Well, you can stop. They don't need the money. I do. If you've got money to burn then why can't you help me out?"

"I don't have money to burn. I work hard for it and I'm saving to pay them back and not to help your dealer to an early retirement. You know damn well that I'm not going to give you money for drugs. There's no point in even asking," Ryan restated firmly. They'd had this conversation, or one like it, one too many times over the last few weeks.

"Right. You won't help me. Why? Because you're too busy sucking up to them. You've already managed to get them to set up a trust fund for you. Do you think that if you suck up enough, they might cut me off altogether?"

"I've already told you Seth, you and Sophie are welcome to whatever is in my trust. I have no intention of using it. EVER."

"Of course. You're too perfect to need help from anyone. I'm the deadbeat that's always got my hand out."

Ryan sensed the defeat in Seth's words and instantly felt sorry for him. He had to be really unhappy with the life he was currently living. Why couldn't he just see that, accept Sandy and Kirsten's help and go to rehab? He had to try again.

"Only you can change that, Seth. Get some help," Ryan urged.

"You don't understand how hard it is," Seth replied.

Ryan was afraid to hope that Seth might actually be considering it. But he wanted to offer the support that Seth said he'd been missing.

"No I don't. But you've got all of us to help. We'll do anything we can," Ryan replied gently.

Seth said nothing for a while, then finally answered slowly.

"I'm not promising anything … but I'll think about it."

--

Ryan ended the call feeling optimistic for the first time in months. Maybe Seth just needed to hit rock bottom before he would take the help being offered to him. Maybe he was there. Maybe he was ready now. At least now there was some hope.

But if it was even possible that Seth would follow through, Ryan knew that he'd need to keep treading water with Summer for a while yet. He couldn't and wouldn't put Seth's rehab into jeopardy for anything.

--

Summer had spent a lot of time over the last few weeks thinking about what Amber had said about her and Ryan. There were times when she'd been alone, like in bed at night and things were quiet, that it had been all consuming.

She'd replayed the dance over and over in her mind; and not just because she wanted to remember what it felt like to be in his arms, although that was reason enough. But she sensed that he felt something too. It hadn't been all one-sided; or was it just wishful thinking on her part?

They had talked by phone frequently since she'd returned to DC, and there was no mention of it. At all. And it was eating away at her. Their conversations had become occasionally stilted and sometimes awkward. She was sure that he was avoiding talking about why he'd left her standing on the dance floor just as much as she was. She was scared that he'd sensed her interest in him and was looking for a gentle way to tell her (yet again) that he wasn't interested in her like that.

But what if Amber was right? What if he was interested?

It would be just like Ryan to hold himself back because of his loyalty to Seth and the Cohen's. And if that was the case, then there really wasn't any future for them.

But she needed to know. One way or the other. Just knowing that her feelings were reciprocated would be okay, even if they couldn't act on them.

But could they act on them? Could she do as Amber suggested and make it just sex? A romp in the hay, no strings attached?

She already had resigned herself to getting very little sleep on the weekend. She never slept well in the New York apartment anymore. Knowing that he was lying on the other side of the wall kept her senses on high alert, so sleep never came easily. She often had to resort to a little self stimulation before sleep was even possible.

And she guessed it was the same for him. He rarely looked rested and relaxed in the morning. She'd also noticed that he was always fully dressed now before he left his room. No more breakfast in boxers and wife beater. Was that because he had issues of his own to contend with? If he did, maybe she should take Amber's advice and offer him sex for sex's sake.

If nothing else, they both might get a good night's sleep.

She needed to make her mind up soon. The plane was landing and she'd be with him shortly.

--

Dinner was a success. They cleaned up the dishes and settled in front of the television to watch a movie. They agreed on an old James Bond movie and were both enjoying it. Luckily they'd seen it before, because they were only half watching; each of them too aware of the person sitting beside them to focus completely on the moving images.

Summer had paid special attention to Ryan's reactions from the moment she'd entered the apartment; his greeting, glances during dinner, and the times that he pulled his gaze away. She could tell that he was just as preoccupied with her as she was with him.

Maybe Amber was right. Maybe he was interested. She decided that she was going to give it her best shot. But how?

They watched in silence until a scene presented itself where James was making out with the femme fatale. They were obviously headed straight to bed. Summer knew that there would never be a better opportunity.

It was now or never.

"Do you miss it?" she asked softly.

Ryan reluctantly turned his attention away from the screen just as the woman's clothes were falling to the floor (he was such a guy).

"What?" he asked distractedly, trying to watch while listening. Why did she have a question NOW? It was the best part.

"Do you miss it? Sex, I mean," she explained.

Now she had his attention.

Ryan looked at her in shock. What the hell was she talking about? And how could he answer that? If he said no … well, that really wasn't possible given that he'd always told her the truth. But if he said yes ….

The silence stretched between them.

Summer was watching him, but then she moved her eyes back to the screen, trying to pretend her question was casual. But it wasn't. She hoped that diverting her attention would enable him to answer her honestly.

Finally Ryan found his voice.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

Summer waited a moment and then she responded.

"Me too."

Ryan was flabbergasted. What was he supposed to say now?

His mind frantically looked for something to reply. But no matter what he came up with, he was scared of how she'd interpret it. Maybe he should just not answer. It seemed the safest option.

Several seconds went by, so Ryan breathed an inward sigh of relief. Maybe she was just making conversation, considering that the couple on the screen were going at it.

"You know, we could, if you wanted to. It could be just sex. It wouldn't have to mean anything," she stated plainly, staring at the screen as she spoke. Her heart was pounding as she waited for his response.

Ryan was stunned.

He could think of nothing better.

And nothing worse.

He wanted to make love to her… to see and feel her body respond to his… to hear the noises she made when he touched her in the right places. He wanted to be able to lose himself in her entirely and make her moan with pleasure and scream his name with her release. But it could never be just sex. And it couldn't happen now. Not until Seth had sorted himself out. Then, maybe they would have a chance.

He knew that he needed to give her an answer. But he wasn't sure how she'd react.

"I can't," he answered softly.

He noticed Summer swallow hard and she kept her eyes firmly fixed on the television when she replied.

"Of course. I'm sorry I mentioned it. I just …" she started.

The memories of his first rejection came flooding back. But this hurt so much more. This wasn't a teenage attraction anymore, it was more that he was rejecting. It was her heart. But he didn't know that.

"I should have realised that you weren't interested. You've never been interested."

Ryan knew she didn't understand. He'd hurt her and that was the last thing that he wanted.

"Summer, it's nothing like that. Don't you see? With you, it would never be 'just sex'. You mean too much to me," he tried to explain.

"I know. We're friends," she replied sadly.

She decided it would be best to make it easy for him.

"But that's all. I'm sorry for even bringing it up. I promise not to mention it again."

Ryan wanted to tell her how wrong she was. To tell her how much he wanted her. But he couldn't. He couldn't give her hope where there was none, at least not for the foreseeable future.

--


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: Thanks moviewriter for the review. I'm glad that someone's enjoying it._

17

Ryan sat in front of the television thinking over things. It was late Saturday evening and Summer was back in DC. She hadn't come home this weekend, choosing instead to stay and get a jump on her work for the upcoming week. At least that's what she'd said. Ryan suspected it was more likely that she was avoiding him.

He wasn't sure if he was grateful or disappointed. He was missing her, sure. But if she'd been there with him, things would have just been awkward for them.

Ever since her offer of sex without strings, things hadn't been the same. He knew that he'd hurt her. But his rejection was more about how much he felt for her rather than how much he didn't. He knew that he hadn't gotten that message through. She hadn't understood. But if she had, things would have probably been even more difficult. Better to leave things as they were.

And he wouldn't see her next weekend either.

He was leaving on Friday after work, going back to Berkeley for Thanksgiving. He was looking forward to going home. But he knew that he would miss her. Terribly.

She was coming back to New York and her dad was coming to spend the holiday with her. He was glad that she wouldn't be on her own. He couldn't have left her there if she was going to be alone. But he couldn't have taken her with him either. It was already so complicated.

He thought about going shopping tomorrow to pick up something for Sophie. He knew that she'd be expecting something from him even if it wasn't Christmas yet, when his phone rang, startling him from his thoughts.

It was late. Hoping that it might be Summer calling before she went to bed, he hastily pulled it from his pocket, but was disappointed when he saw who it was.

"Hey."

"Don't sound so happy to talk to me," Seth commented.

Ryan realised that the disappointment obviously showed in his voice. He tried to summon up some enthusiasm.

"Sorry. I just have a few things on my mind. What can I do for you?" Ryan asked. It had been a long time since Seth had called just to talk. There must have been some motivation behind it. Ryan could only hope that he'd taken some steps towards getting some help since the last time they'd spoken. Maybe he was calling to tell Ryan about it.

"I was wondering if you're feeling any more flush with funds than the last time we talked?" Seth asked.

"No. Why?" Ryan answered. He was disappointed. This couldn't be anything good, if it was about money yet again.

"I thought that we might make a little deal," Seth suggested.

"What kind of deal?"

"Well ….. I told you that your girlfriend's in town …" Seth stated only to be cut off.

"And I told you that I don't have a girlfriend."

"Yeah. Whatever," Seth responded. "We both know how much she means to you. How many other women have you been ready to propose to?" Seth asked, obviously attempting to taunt Ryan.

But Ryan had no desire to discuss Taylor.

"Get to the point, Seth. It's late. What do you really want?" Ryan asked, trying to get it over with and get off the phone. Summer should be calling soon.

"Money. I need money. It's very simple. I thought that we could work something out."

Ryan waited for Seth to continue, but he already knew he wasn't going to like whatever Seth had in mind.

"Let me paint you a little picture Ryan. Taylor's here. She was feeling a little lonely and she dropped by. As we speak, she's in my bedroom. Mom and Dad are out and we've been having a little party of our own. She's a little drunk, a little high and a lot horny. I thought that I'd do the honourable thing and call you before I fucked her. I wondered how much it would be worth to you, you know, for me to keep my hands (and other parts of my body) off (or out) of her. I mean, I could use some action."

Ryan gritted his teeth. Seth apparently hadn't made any attempt to get help. If anything, he was worse; still spiralling down to new lows. He never used to talk like that. Ryan had to remind himself that it was the drugs. As for the subject matter? Even less like the Seth he knew. Was it possible that he had become like Trey? He didn't think he could stand that.

"I can't believe that you'd try to blackmail me. This is a new low, even for you," Ryan stated, the disgust evident in his tone.

"Come on. It has to be worth something to you. If I do her now, she won't be as needy for you next weekend. If I leave her alone, she'll be nice and fresh and drooling for you."

"I don't care whether she's nice or fresh or drooling, as you so nicely put it. It's got nothing to do with me. I told you I'm no longer interested."

"Don't give me that, Ryan. She screws like a fucking rabbit. No one in their right mind would let something like that go."

"So you've slept with her already?" Ryan asked, putting two and two together.

Seth realised that he'd blown it.

"Well ... I had to find out for myself how much a good fuck with her would be worth to you. And she's great. So creative. I swear there isn't anything that she wouldn't let you do to her."

"I suspect that she'd let anybody with a dick do it to her, Seth. Don't feel special."

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy here. I'm the one that's giving you the opportunity to keep her honour, or at least what's left of it, intact."

"Fuck you, Seth."

"I think that I might just let her do that. Again," Seth replied, hoping to turn the knife.

Ryan sighed. He was about to hang up when Seth started again.

"So you really are over her?"

"I already told you that," Ryan explained.

"And you don't want her to have your new cell number?" Seth asked. He remembered his mother saying something about it, and it couldn't hurt to put it out there. Maybe Ryan would take the bait.

"No. I don't," Ryan replied. The idea of talking to Taylor was the last thing on his mind.

"Then how much is it worth to you… to stop me from passing it on to her?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"If there's one thing I don't kid about, Ryan, its money."

"Well, I'm sorry, but there's no way that I'm going to give in to your ridiculous demands, no matter how hard you try."

Ryan clicked the phone closed before Seth could say anything more. He couldn't believe how they seemed to be able to reach new lows each time they spoke.

And now he had something else to worry about.

He was startled by his phone ringing. It was still in his hand.

He stiffened in anticipation of Seth calling back with yet another blackmail idea, but this time, he was delighted when he saw who was calling. Trying to clear his mind of the previous conversation, he quickly answered.

"Hey."

"Hey to you too," Summer replied. She smiled. She'd never get tired of hearing his greeting. That tiny little word. She knew that it wasn't the word, but the voice that was saying it that made it so special.

"What's up?"

"Nothing much. I'm just getting ready for bed and I thought that I'd check in, see if you were out on the town, maybe getting wasted on a Saturday night?"

"Yeah. That's me. You know me too well," he responded jokingly.

"You need me there to keep you on the straight and narrow," Summer suggested teasingly.

"I do need you here," Ryan responded. He couldn't help himself. He missed her. More than she would ever know.

Summer's heart tugged. Was he flirting? She wanted to believe that he was, but there was something in his voice that she couldn't quite place. Something troubled.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, now concerned.

Ryan hesitated. Should he tell her about Seth's call?

He was still trying to come to terms with it himself. He'd been hoping that Seth was close to getting some help, but it looked like he was further away than ever. Never mind the fact that he was probably having sex with Taylor right now. He felt responsible, like it was his fault that Seth was using Taylor to get back at him. But telling Summer about it wouldn't serve any purpose.

"Yeah."

"I'm not buying it. Try again," Summer replied. She knew that sometimes with Ryan it was the silences that meant the most.

He sighed. She knew him too well.

"Sort of. I just had a call from Seth," Ryan replied, hoping that she'd leave it at that. He'd told her enough about how bad things were between them. Hopefully, she'd just assume that it was more of the same and move on.

"Anything new?"

Ryan marvelled at how she seemed to be able to ask all the right questions, or in this case the wrong ones. He was trying so hard to keep it to himself, but he wouldn't lie to her.

He wondered which part of the Seth conversation she'd find less offensive; the fact that he was prepared to stoop to blackmail to get money from him, or the fact that he was screwing someone else for all the wrong reasons.

"Not really. He still hasn't gotten any help. And he tells me he's spending time with Taylor."

He figured that was as watered down as he could make it and still be telling the truth.

"Oh," Summer replied. There was nothing new about the first part. So, Ryan's mood must have been brought on by the second. Did that mean that Ryan still had feelings for Taylor?

She knew that Taylor had broken his heart, but Marissa had repeatedly treated him badly and he'd kept going back to her. Would it be the same with Taylor? Was that why he turned her down? Was he still hoping to reunite with Taylor? She wouldn't have thought it possible. Not after what Taylor had done to him. But she knew that he wasn't going to tell her any more. He'd put up his walls for the night, so she decided to change the subject.

"I'm sorry that I won't get to see you on Friday," she said.

"Me too. But my plane leaves before yours gets in," Ryan explained.

"I know. I'll just have to wait until next week."

"You know this is the longest we've been apart since I moved here," Ryan pointed out.

He didn't need to tell her that. She was well aware.

"Is it?" She tried to sound surprised. "Don't get used to it. It's still my place."

Ryan smiled.

"Then you should spend more time in it," he suggested. He wanted her around more. "When does your dad arrive?"

"His flight gets in about twenty minutes after mine. I'm going to wait at the airport for him and we can share a taxi."

"Good. I'll make sure I leave the place clean for you. Do you want me to pick up any groceries for you?"

"Nah. We can go the market on Saturday morning. I'm sort of looking forward to being able to cook my very first Thanksgiving dinner from scratch, even if it is only for two."

"I wish I was going to be here," Ryan admitted softly. He was torn.

"Bull. You're going to be with your family," Summer pointed out.

"I know. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to be here."

She was touched that he felt like that. She also knew that even though he would love to see Sandy, Kirsten and Sophie, he wasn't looking forward to spending any time with Seth.

"I hope that everything goes okay in Berkeley," she said, hoping to offer support.

"Me too. Part of me wants to go, but part of me is dreading it."

"I can understand that. But you'll get to see Kirsten and Sandy. And Sophie too."

"And Caitlyn's going to be there as well. So that's good," Ryan added.

"How come Caitlyn's going to be there? I thought she'd be going to Newport to be with Julie and Jake."

"Well, she's fallen behind a little in school, probably from overpartying. She has exams coming up and she wants me to help her cram for math and physics. Turns out Julie and Jake are spending Thanksgiving in Texas with Bullitt anyhow, and she didn't want to have that much time away. And you know Sandy and Kirsten, they're always happy to have more people around on the holidays."

"I know," Summer said forlornly, remembering the holidays that she'd shared with them all.

"And Sophie will enjoy having another girl around to even out the numbers," Ryan pointed out.

Summer remembered well when she'd been the one to do that.

"I bet that she's grown a lot," she said wistfully.

"I know. I'm really looking forward to seeing her. I thought I'd go buy her a new book tomorrow. One that I can read to her while I'm there. She always likes to have a story at bedtime."

"That's a great idea. You know I like bedtime stories too, if ever you're feeling …," she suggested, teasing him.

Ryan laughed. The thought of Summer in bed didn't automatically conjure up thoughts of reading. He could think of many other things that he'd rather do with her.

"I'll keep that in mind. Maybe you should get your father to read to you while he's here."

"Oops. That was the other thing I wanted to ask you about. I thought I'd let Dad use my bed. Is it okay if I use yours while he's here?"

Ryan gulped.

"Of course," he replied.

As if things weren't going to be bad enough being away from her, knowing she was sleeping in his bed was only going to make it worse.

"I promise that I won't christen it with any randoms."

"What?" Ryan replied, stunned. It had never entered his head that she would … certainly not when her father was there.

"I'm just offering the same courtesy that I asked of you. The way we're going, these beds are destined to remain virgins. We're going to have to do something about that."

Ryan wasn't sure what she meant by that.

And he was scared to ask.

--


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Wow. I actually got 3 reviews for the last one. Thanks. Not sure about the other hundred or so people that are reading every chapter. I'm choosing to assume that they're enjoying it too. Otherwise why do they keep reading?__ Lurkers are taking over the world._

_Hope that you enjoy this one. I liked it._

18

Ryan hadn't spoken to Summer since Friday morning and he was starting to get anxious. It was nearly nine pm Saturday night, which would be midnight back in New York. He hadn't been able to call her Friday night because it had been too late by the time that he'd arrived in Berkeley, and then today from the moment that he was woken up (much too early) by Sophie Rose, he'd had someone with him at all times. It was quite a shock to his system after all the time he had spent on his own in New York.

He needed to get rid of Caitlyn soon so he could call Summer, otherwise it would be too late again.

He didn't mind helping Caitlyn with her studies. In fact, it was sorta fun. But he'd made a plan with Summer that he'd call her, not the other way around, while he was in Berkeley. No one knew about their living arrangements and he thought it best to keep it that way in light of the tension between he and Seth, at least for the moment. But keeping it a secret was starting to eat away at him. He wondered what Kirsten and Sandy would think if they knew. But he had a pretty good idea what Seth would think, so it was better to keep it to himself.

He was delighted that Taylor had gone to Newport to spend the holiday with her mother. It relieved some of the pressure that he had felt about the visit home, and it was one less problem to deal with.

From what Kirsten had said, Taylor hadn't been happy about visiting her mom, but since she was still funding Taylor's education, she really couldn't say no. Taylor had left a letter for him that he got from Kirsten. He hadn't bothered to open it yet and he was in no hurry. There was nothing that she could say that was of any interest to him. He was tempted to throw it in the garbage unopened. He still might.

Caitlyn kept him busy for most of the day, much to Sophie's displeasure, and they'd both insisted on sitting next to him for the sumptuous dinner that Kirsten had prepared. So much so that Kirsten had given her place at one of the ends of the table to him so that he could sit in between them, just to keep the peace. He couldn't help but smile as he recalled Kirsten's indulgent look at the three of them during the meal. Seth had sat sullenly next to Sandy, saying nothing and keeping to himself. It was yet another way that Seth had changed. He used to be the life of the party. But not anymore.

Ryan had managed to find some time in the morning to play outside with Sophie, and he'd read her new storybook to her before she went to bed. But now he was back with Caitlyn again…and her studying frenzy.

If he didn't call Summer soon, it would be too late. Again. Feeling a yawn coming on, he exaggerated it, making it obvious to Caitlyn.

"Sorry. I'm still running on East Coast time. Do you think that we could give this a break until the morning?" he asked, stretching his arms above his head to give yet another hint.

"Sure. I'm sorry that I've taken up so much of your time today. But I need to get on top of this stuff and you explain it a lot better than the old dinosaur that I've got for a lecturer."

Ryan smiled.

"You know if you listened to that 'old dinosaur', you'd probably find that he was telling you exactly the same thing. I had him for a lecturer, too. He really does know his stuff. But you need to actually go to the lectures. He writes all the good stuff on the board and if you're not there…."

"Okay. Okay. I get it. No more skipping lectures. I think I get those differentials now. Maybe we can work on the wave motion stuff tomorrow?"

"Sure. But I do have to spend some time with Sophie tomorrow too," Ryan explained. "I'm leaving first thing Monday."

"Okay. I understand."

Caitlin got up from his bed where they'd been working. She picked up her text books and headed for the door.

"Good night."

""Night," Ryan said. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Uh huh. Ciao."

As soon as the door closed behind her, Ryan pressed the speed dial. He couldn't wait any longer.

"Hey," she answered on the second ring.

He was surprised by the tingles that rushed through his body at just the sound of her voice.

"Hey to you too."

"I was wondering if you'd call."

Summer didn't want to admit that she'd been totally preoccupied with the idea for the last two hours. She thought he might have forgotten.

"Yeah, sorry. I've been trying to find a good time, but there's always someone with me."

"Seth?"

"No. He's been keeping his distance. He had dinner with us, but then he went out and I don't think he's back yet. I have no idea what he's up to. But between Sophie and Caitlyn, I've been in hot demand."

"You always did attract the girls," Summer teased.

"If only," he responded.

There was a brief knock on the door before it opened again to reveal Caitlyn standing there.

It was like old times, Ryan thought. Just like the poolhouse days, no one ever waited to be asked to come in anymore.

"Sorry I just had one more question," she said, then noticed that he was on the phone and stopped.

Ryan hesitated, still holding the phone to his ear, waiting to find out what she wanted, and hoping she'd be quick. He wanted to get back to Summer.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you were on the phone. I have one more question. But I can come back later," she said. But her body language indicated that she was hoping that he'd interrupt his conversation for her. She hesitated in the doorway half in and half out of the room.

Ryan didn't want to hang up on Summer. It was already late in New York. But he couldn't keep talking to her with Caitlyn in the room.

Caitlyn was looking at him strangely, no doubt wondering who he was talking to at this time of night. He knew he'd get the third degree when he got off the phone.

"I'm just checking in with my roommate," Ryan explained, hoping that would be sufficient explanation to stop a wave of questions.

Caitlyn's face burst into a smile.

"Tell Summer I said hi," she said loudly, obviously hoping that Summer would hear her.

Ryan was dumbfounded. How did she know?

Julie. Of course. He was just putting the pieces together when Seth stopped in the hallway on the way to his room.

"Did you say Summer?"

He looked from Caitlyn to Ryan and back again; the disbelief and curiosity clearly evident from his expression.

Ryan was still holding the phone to his ear. What was he supposed to do?

"Can I call you back?" he whispered softly.

Summer overheard who was there, and she could only imagine what Ryan must be feeling. More importantly, she had a good idea of what he was about to face. He had tried so hard to avoid this, and now it looked like a confrontation was inevitable.

"We've done nothing wrong. Don't let him make you feel bad about what we have. It's too special for him to poison it," she instructed firmly. She knew the sort of power that Seth wielded over Ryan and hoped that he would take comfort from her words.

He did. She knew him too well, but she was right. It was just what he needed to hear.

"I'll call you right back," Ryan said, ending the call.

Seth looked at Ryan.

"Were you talking to Summer?" he asked directly.

"Yes, I was." Ryan answered.

"Why? Why would you be talking to her?"

"Because she's a friend."

"How good a friend?" Seth asked between gritted teeth.

"Ryan. I'm so sorry," Caitlyn interrupted.

This was all her fault. Seth looked pretty angry, and she wondered if she should go get Sandy and Kirsten. This wasn't going to be pretty.

"It's all right, Caitlyn. He had to know sometime," Ryan said resignedly.

"Know what?" Seth asked.

"That Summer and I are friends."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said. We're sharing an apartment in New York."

"You're what?" Seth exclaimed, his voice rising.

"You heard me," Ryan replied. He kept repeating Summer's words over in his head.

'_we've done nothing wrong. What we have is too special for Seth to poison it.'_

"Since when?"

"Since I moved there."

Seth couldn't believe this had been going on for months and he had no idea.

"Are you screwing her?"

"No. It's not like that."

"Don't give me that, Ryan. I know Summer. She may not be as eager as Taylor, but she has a very healthy sexual appetite. There's no way she would have lasted this long without opening her legs."

Ryan gritted his teeth. He couldn't believe that Seth would talk like that about his former wife.

"Then you don't know her very well at all. She's not like that."

"She's exactly like that."

Ryan could feel his fist twitch. If Seth kept this up, the Kid Chino side of him, that he'd thought was long buried, might have to make a re-appearance.

"Shut up, Seth. Don't talk about her like that or I'll make you regret it. Just because she divorced your sorry ass …"

Seth hesitated a moment. He could see the cloud cross Ryan's face, and he was scared that he might have gone too far. He was still a coward after all, and he didn't want to get into anything physical with Ryan, because he knew he'd lose. Badly. So he took a different tack.

"She dropped me like a hot potato."

"She didn't drop you, Seth. She gave you plenty of chances to change and to make things right, but you didn't even try."

"So you're taking her side? I know you've turned into some self-righteous prick, but I never thought that you'd turn your back on me. I guess I should have realised after what's happened lately."

"All that's happened lately is that I've refused to give you money to support your habit. That decision has nothing to do with Summer."

"It has everything to do with Summer. I'm sure that she's just waiting to see me begging on street corners."

"She wants you to get help. We all do."

"I'm sick of everybody interfering in my life. I'll do what I like, when I like and with whomever I like. Understand?"

"Yeah. I understand."

"Fine. Then just keep away from me and keep away from Summer," Seth said angrily.

Ryan hesitated only a moment. There was no point in promising something that he knew that he couldn't and wouldn't do.

"I can't do that."

"Can't or won't?"

"Does it matter?"

"It matters to me."

"I'm sorry, but we don't always get what we want."

"I fuckin' never get what I want," Seth exclaimed, thumping his fist on the wall. "Just keep out of my way," he said in disgust as he turned and continued down the hall to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Caitlyn was still standing nervously in the hallway.

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't be. It had to happen sometime. Maybe it's better that he knows."

--

Summer put the phone down. It was late. She knew she needed to go to sleep, but she knew she wouldn't be able to.

There was a soft knock at the door and she glanced towards it. The moonlight from the skylights above illuminated the outline of her father in the doorway.

"Hey Dad. Did you need something?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I was getting a glass of water in the kitchen and I couldn't help but overhear you. I wondered if you were talking in your sleep. You know you did that a lot when you were little."

"No. I'm fine. I was just talking to Ryan," she explained.

But she didn't disguise the concern in her voice very well because Neil picked up on it immediately.

"Nothing wrong, I hope?"

Summer hesitated. She felt like bursting into tears. She'd been looking forward to talking to Ryan all day; to tell him about her success with the turkey, and the gravy, even the pumpkin pie. She knew he'd be proud of her cooking all that herself. It wouldn't be the same as him being there, but she'd had to learn over the last few months to connect with him over the phone. It wasn't much, but it was as close as they could get, and it kept her going when things got her down. So when he'd finally called, she had hoped for a long chat.

But Seth had ruined that. Like Seth had ruined a lot of things for her over the last few years.

"Not really," she sniffed.

"I'm not buying it," her father replied, moving in and sitting on the side of her bed; at least, the side of Ryan's sofa bed that she was now laying in. "Want to tell your old dad about it?"

Summer hesitated. What was there to tell? She'd fallen for a guy that was unattainable. At least to her.

She shook her from head side to side.

"Come on. Has he done something wrong?" Neil asked.

Summer looked at him with disbelief.

"This is Ryan we're talking about, not Seth."

"So what's got you upset?" her father asked, pushing her for answers.

"I don't know. I wish that Ryan was here and not in Berkeley," she said simply. "Seth just found out about us living together and he's trying to make Ryan feel guilty."

"Has Ryan got anything to feel guilty about?" Neil asked. He'd been wondering how things were going between his daughter and her roommate, but he hadn't known how to ask. This was his opportunity.

"No. Not unless us being friends is a crime."

"So that's all there is to it? You're just friends?" Neil asked.

"Unfortunately, yes."

Neil could hear the disappointment in his daughter's voice. He'd always been able to read her so well.

"But you'd like it to be more?" her father suggested all knowingly.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only to someone who knows you as well as I do. Your whole face lights up when you talk about him."

"I didn't realise …" Summer started.

"So we know how you feel about him. How does he feel about you?"

Summer looked at him, and he didn't ever remember his daughter looking more lost and confused.

"I have no idea. I know that we're friends. Best friends. We talk everyday, sometimes twice a day. Whenever we can. And when I'm in town, we spend every minute we can together."

Neil raised his eyebrows questioningly. It certainly sounded like a lot more than just roommates.

"Except when we're in the bedroom and the bathroom," Summer corrected.

"So you're not …" Neil started, hoping that she'd pick up on the silent question.

Summer sighed audibly.

"No. I tried. But he wouldn't…"

Neil frowned.

"What do you mean you tried?"

Summer didn't know whether she should say anymore. She and her father had always been close, but could she admit to how low she'd stooped to try to attract Ryan? She certainly needed someone to talk about it with, so why not him?

"I offered him sex without strings," she elaborated.

"You what?"

"I know. I'm ashamed that I did it now, but I wanted to find out how he felt about me," Summer explained.

"And he turned you down?" Neil asked.

"Yeah."

"Then get over him. He's not the guy for you if he's going to hurt you like that."

"He is the guy for me. I'm not interested in anyone else," Summer responded forlornly.

"But he's not interested in you," Neil pointed out. He didn't want his daughter wasting her time on a loveless union. He'd had enough of those himself and he wanted more for her.

"I'm not so sure about that. Sometimes, when he looks at me, I'd swear that he feels just as strongly about me as I do about him, but he holds back. Even Amber commented on it at my birthday party. She said that he couldn't take his eyes off me. She's the one that suggested that I offer him sex without strings to see how he felt."

"I should have guessed that the idea came from her. It doesn't sound like something that you'd come up with on your own," Neil admitted. "But Ryan turned you down flat?" Neil asked. He needed more information to try to understand.

"Not exactly. He said that he couldn't because it would never be 'just sex' between us… because I meant too much to him."

"Hmmm. That's a totally different story than what you said before. It sounds to me like he IS interested. Something must be holding him back."

"Or someone," Summer suggested.

"Seth?" Neil supplied.

"Up until now, it's probably been because of Seth. And maybe because he hasn't told the Cohens that we're sharing the apartment. But as of a few minutes ago, Seth knows that we're living under the same roof. I can only imagine that things will be even worse. Seth's probably trying to get him to move out."

Summer looked up at her father and the look of loss in her eyes tugged at his heart.

"I can't lose him, even if we never move our relationship past where it is right now."

Neil had never seen Summer like this, even when her marriage was falling apart. He had a feeling that this relationship, strange as it may be, meant more to her than Seth ever had.

"What can I do?" she asked her father desperately.

Neil thought for a moment. He wished that he had some crystal ball or even better, a magic wand so that he could fix things for his daughter. She'd had enough heartbreak in her life already. It was about time that things went her way.

He'd never forgive Seth for what he'd put her through, and yet he understood Ryan's loyalty to his brother.

"I don't have all the answers. But ... from what I know of Ryan, he doesn't make any decision rashly. It probably took a lot for him to turn down your offer of no strings sex and I have to admire him for it. But if Amber is right, and he feels for you as much as you feel for him, then you're going to have to give him time to work through his issues with Seth. Knowing Seth, he'll screw things up, so it's only a matter of time before Ryan realizes that his loyalty is misplaced. But you need to let him come to that conclusion himself. Don't try to influence him."

"So I need to just keep doing what I'm doing?"

Neil nodded.

"But it's so hard to be around him and not ..." Summer stopped what she was saying and blushed. It would have been a major overshare to tell her father that she wanted to jump Ryan.

Neil smiled; his daughter was nothing if not honest. It was a trait that he thought that she shared with Ryan.

"If you want my advice, I think that you should try to keep your distance for a while. You know they say 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'. Stay away for a little while and see if it makes any difference. Ryan might come to realise just how much he wants you as part of his life."

Summer contemplated what her father had suggested. There was no doubt that they did miss one another when they were apart. Would it make a difference?

It was certainly worth a try.

--


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: Thanks to all those that have taken the time to review. I do appreciate it._

**19 **

The next morning, Ryan walked out to the kitchen nervously. Sophie hadn't been in to wake him up, which could only mean one thing. Sandy and Kirsten must have physically kept her out. The question was why.

Kirsten was pouring herself a cup of coffee and he could see Sophie out the window, playing on her swing set in the backyard with Sandy.

"Good morning," Ryan said nervously. He wondered what sort of reaction he was going to get.

"Good morning," Kirsten replied stiffly. She picked up another mug, poured him a cup and handed it to him.

"Thanks," he replied, then waited for the inevitable.

"So is it true?" she asked.

Ryan considered pretending he didn't know what she was talking about, but he owed her the truth.

"If you mean about me sharing an apartment in New York with Summer, then yes. It's true," he stated firmly.

"Sharing an apartment? Or living with her?" Kirsten asked for clarification. "There's a big difference."

Ryan frowned. Exactly what was she inferring?

"We live under the same roof, but in different bedrooms. Is that clear enough?"

Kirsten audibly deflated.

"So you're not living together?" she asked, the relief apparent in her voice.

"No. I wouldn't do that to Seth."

"But he said ..." Kirsten started.

"I told him last night that it wasn't like that, but he chose not to believe me. He was going to think the worst, no matter what I said."

"So you haven't ... you know ..." Kirsten asked again for clarification.

"No. It's really not like that."

Ryan couldn't believe that she would think him capable of doing that. It had taken every ounce of his willpower NOT to act on what he wanted, and he had done it all out of loyalty to Seth…and to them. He was angry and disappointed.

"I'm sorry. I just had to ask. The way that Seth explained it ..."

Ryan was already fed up with being interrogated, and it showed in the volume of his response.

"Don't you think that it makes sense to get your information from me and not him? He's not the one that's been living there, after all. Plus, he's lied to you before."

"I'm sorry. You're right, of course. It's just a surprise. The fact that you've kept it a secret made it easy to think the worst. Why didn't you tell us earlier?"

"Because I had a feeling that I'd get this sort of reaction," Ryan explained.

Kirsten looked guilty. So Ryan decided that it was time that he explained it all…from the beginning.

"I ran into Summer in Newport the weekend before I moved to New York. It turns out that she's now based at the New York office of GEORGE. When she first moved there, her father bought an apartment in Soho off a colleague who was moving to the west coast. She still travels a lot with work and the apartment was often left empty, so Neil asked me to move in and basically house sit. I was reluctant because of what Seth might think, but I said that I'd do it for a few weeks until I found something else. But once I was there, it seemed silly to look for anything else. It's really close to work, Summer is rarely there, and the price was right. On top of that, I'm doing them a favour by keeping an eye on the place. Why wouldn't I stay there?"

Kirsten considered what Ryan said. Put like that, she couldn't think of a single good reason why he wouldn't, except to protect Seth, a spoiled brat that couldn't and wouldn't understand.

Ryan watched as Kirsten thought it through. They both knew that there wasn't any good reason why he shouldn't have stayed at the apartment, except for what Seth would think about it. But now Ryan was starting to think that he didn't really care any longer what Seth thought or might think. He would never be able to make him happy. The old Seth really might be gone for good.

"Would it better if I moved out?" Ryan asked, even though he wasn't sure that he could do it if Kirsten said yes.

He could see the indecision on her face.

"If he promised me that he'd get help, then I'd be willing to do it. But he has to make an effort first and actually get some help, not just talk about it. I don't believe anything that comes out of his mouth anymore, and I'm not prepared to ruin something that's working so well for me just to make him happy. Not if he's going to lie to me again."

Kirsten shook her head. She knew that it wasn't fair to ask Ryan to change his living arrangements just to appease Seth's insecurities.

"No. If you're happy there, then you should stay. He'll have to learn to deal with it."

Ryan smiled. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, especially since he really didn't know if he could have done it anyway.

"Really?"

Kirsten smiled.

"Really. It's good to know that you have someone looking out for you. Seth takes up so much of our time these days that I'm afraid that we're not really there for you. We've always known that you can look after yourself. If we kept in touch more, then perhaps we would have known about where you were living. I realise that I never even asked."

"No you didn't. But then I didn't tell you either, and I could have," Ryan admitted, wanting to make her feel better.

"If I had asked, would you have told us?"

"Of course. I'd never lie to you."

"So you really haven't slept with her?"

Ryan wanted to be angry at being asked again, but the fact that it was constantly on his mind made him feel guilty.

"No."

Kirsten nodded and Ryan knew that she'd accepted it this time and wouldn't ask again.

"So how is Summer? I have to admit that I miss having her around."

"She misses all of you, too. I've been given orders to take lots of pictures, especially of Sophie, and bring them home for her. She misses being able to see her growing up."

Kirsten noted his use of words. It was the first time that she'd heard him refer to New York as home. She didn't know whether to be happy that he'd settled in so well or sad that he no longer considered their house as 'home'.

"It's still too soon, but I hope that one day, we'll be able to make her welcome here again. None of this was ever her fault."

Ryan couldn't help but love the idea, and he knew that Summer would jump at the chance to keep in touch with them as long as Seth wasn't around.

"She'd like that."

--

Later in the day, Ryan was back in his room with Caitlyn, her textbooks strewn all over the bed. They'd made good use of their study time, and she was feeling much more optimistic about passing the upcoming tests.

"I'm so sorry about last night," she repeated for about the tenth time.

"I told you it's okay. I probably should have told him sooner. I was just worried that this is how he'd react.

"Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him all day."

"You probably won't, at least not until after I leave in the morning. Apparently he told Sandy and Kirsten that he didn't want to be anywhere near me."

I'm so sorry," Caitlyn said again.

"Enough with the sorry. It had to come out sometime, and I can share an apartment with whoever I want. We're not doing anything wrong."

Caitlyn was a little taken aback by the forcefulness of his response.

"Oookkkay," she said slowly, thinking that Ryan was a little too touchy about the subject. "So you and Summer really aren't …."

Ryan sighed and counted to ten before he replied.

"No, we're not. Why does everyone instantly think the worst of us?"

"I don't think it would be bad. In fact, I think it would be great. I always hoped that you'd end up with my sister, but since that's not possible, Summer would be the next best."

Ryan was surprised. He never thought that someone would actually support the idea.

"Really?"

"Of course. And I know that mom's been thinking the same thing. Her and Dr Roberts have both been hoping that something might happen with you two."

Ryan's surprise turned to disbelief.

"They what?" he asked incredulously.

Caitlyn chuckled at his astonishment.

"I probably wasn't supposed to tell you, but they both hoped you two might hook up," Caitlyn said, "but you must be losing your touch, Atwood. From the stories I used to hear about you, you should have had her in bed months ago," she finished, a shit eating grin on her face.

Ryan didn't know whether to believe her or not. She must be busting his balls. Julie and Neil wanting them together? He thought back to that night in Newport when the idea of him sharing the apartment was first broached. Could they have been trying to set them up back then?

This was more than Ryan could get his head around. But could it be possible? And if it was, what was Neil saying to his daughter back in New York right now? And more importantly, what was she saying to him? Was she for it? Did she like the idea? It seemed like everyone else was in on something that they'd never been a part of and yet they were the major players.

That just didn't seem fair.

--

Ryan returned to New York and the weeks after Thanksgiving flew by. His hospital project was now working around the clock in an attempt to complete as much as possible before the Christmas holiday. He was glad he was so busy. It was helping to keep his mind off the fact that he hadn't seen Summer for weeks.

They still spoke on the phone every day, but they never spoke about what was at the forefront of his mind. That seed planted by Caitlyn had started to grow.

And he was sure that Summer was avoiding him.

She insisted that she wasn't; that she was just busy trying to get things finished before the politicians they were lobbying all disappeared for Christmas, but Ryan wasn't convinced. Surely she could have spared one weekend to come home and see him.

In something close to desperation, he'd actually volunteered to go to Washington to see her for a weekend, but she'd informed him that she was too busy and wouldn't have any time to spend with him. He was surprised by how much it hurt.

His free time was all filled with thoughts of her. He couldn't shake Caitlyn's words. Was it true that there were members of their families that wanted them to get together? And if they did, how would Kirsten and Sandy react? Would it make things with Seth worse than they already were?

His loyalty to Seth had been tested time and time again. He was starting to wonder why he had even bothered, especially when Seth was so nasty, and spurned his attempts to help him.

The morning after Thanksgiving, Seth had told his version of the Ryan and Summer story to his parents before disappearing for the day. Ryan had no idea where he went, but he realised that Seth now had other friends that he wanted to hang out with. He avoided Ryan completely during the rest of his visit, and Ryan was just fine with that. He was sad that the brotherly relationship they had, seemed to have disappeared completely, but he could live with that if he had to. What bothered him even more was that Seth didn't appreciate how lucky he was to have parents like Sandy and Kirsten that were still prepared to stand by him. Most others would have given up and kicked him out by now.

But all of that only served to make him wonder if there was a time in the future where he and Summer could be together without repercussions. How and when, he still had no idea.

But it was driving him crazy. He needed to know what Summer thought about it all. He wondered if he could casually mention to her what Caitlyn had said. But he didn't want to do it over the phone. He wanted to be able to see her reaction and the nuances of her expression. That way, he'd know if it was a surprise to her, or if she'd been thinking about the same thing. It was bugging him not knowing.

He needed to find out.

--


	20. Chapter 20

20.

Summer tightened her seat belt, turned her phone off, then looked for a play list on her ipod that might keep her distracted, at least for a little while. It was five hours from Washington DC to Los Angeles and she didn't want to spend the whole flight thinking about Ryan. But she knew that she was fighting a losing battle.

She kept replaying over in her head the hurt in his voice when she'd told him that she wasn't returning to New York before Christmas. She had decided to work right up to Christmas Eve, then fly directly to California.

He'd been disappointed, that's for sure. But wasn't that what she wanted?

Ever since Thanksgiving, she'd followed her father's suggestion of keeping her distance from Ryan while he worked through his issues. She'd managed to stay away. And it was killing her.

She'd wanted him to miss her. What she hadn't counted on was how much she would miss him.

They still talked every day, but hearing his voice wasn't enough anymore.

She wanted to see him. To gaze into those blue eyes and lose herself. To smell that smell that was uniquely his. To watch the small lines around his eyes crinkle when he smiled.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to envision him, losing herself in the moment, but then quickly opened her eyes again as the image that came to mind was of him in boxers and wife beater on that first morning. It was a sight she'd never forget. But it wasn't something that she should be thinking about on a crowded plane with no outlet. Not unless she wanted to attract attention to herself.

She had a lot to think about over the holidays. Ryan and what they did or didn't have going on between them….what they did or didn't feel for each other. But that wasn't the only thing.

She'd been offered a promotion with GEORGE in a completely different capacity. One that would see her based almost entirely in the main office in New York City. It meant very little travelling, the idea of which appealed to her immensely. She didn't enjoy living out of a suitcase anymore; the novelty had well and truly worn off.

But that meant that she'd be living with Ryan all the time. She didn't know if she could do that without showing how she felt about him. It was difficult enough to manage it over a weekend; how would she handle it when they were together every day …. And night? And yet that was a part of why the job appealed to her. She could be around him more, instead of trying to cram in as much time as they could together before she had to leave again.

If he did have feelings for her and they could get past the Seth problem, it could be wonderful. But how was she going to find out if it would ever be a possibility?

If he didn't have feelings for her, then she suspected that it would be excruciating to have to live with him platonically. Then again, she wasn't sure if she could live without him anymore. She was barely getting by as it was, and that was with them talking every day. She couldn't afford to make a mistake. He might leave and that would be the worst thing ever.

--

Ryan picked up his bag from the luggage carousel and headed for the exit door. Turning the corner, he almost ran smack into someone.

"Whoa. Easy there," Sandy exclaimed, holding him by the shoulders to stop the collision.

"Sandy, what are you doing here?" Ryan asked, surprised. "I told Kirsten not to bother you, that I'd get a taxi. Aren't you supposed to be at Sophie's Christmas pageant?"

"Hey, I'm Jewish, what does it matter? Anyway, there's been an unexpected development at home. I wanted to give you a heads up before you get there," Sandy said. He grabbed Ryan's backpack from him, leaving him with the heavier bag and steered him out the door towards the parking lot.

Ryan followed his lead through the crowd, but as soon as they were clear of the building, he turned to Sandy.

"What sort of development?"

He was worried. It wasn't like Kirsten to change plans at the last minute.

"Just wait 'til we get in the car and I'll explain," Sandy replied, taking the lead again for Ryan to follow. Ryan did exactly that and they covered the distance quickly. Once they were settled in the car and moving towards the exit, Ryan couldn't wait any longer.

"Okay, so what's going on?"

Sandy looked uncomfortable, but didn't reply. Now Ryan was really worried. Maybe someone was sick and they didn't want to tell him?

"Sandy, is everyone okay?"

Sandy felt guilty that he had Ryan so concerned. But he wanted to get clear of the airport before he told him, just in case he might want to turn around and fly right back to New York.

"Everyone's fine. We just thought that you should know that we have a guest joining us for Chrismukkah."

Ryan watched the play of emotions cross Sandy's face, and he knew this wasn't going to be someone he liked; otherwise Sandy wouldn't be so hesitant to tell him.

"Who is it?" he asked clearly, needing to know.

"Taylor. Seth invited her," Sandy explained quickly. It was like pulling off a band aid. Get the hurt over and done with and then deal with it.

All Ryan could think was so much for any hope of having a nice visit with his family. He had been prepared for things with Seth to be tense, but having Taylor there too was more than he wanted to have to deal with. Seth knew that Ryan wanted nothing to do with her so why would he ….

Of course. This was his version of revenge because of Ryan's living arrangements. Seth had invited her **because** he knew that Ryan didn't want her there. He wanted to spoil Ryan's holiday and make him feel uncomfortable in his own home.

"I know the two of you had a falling out, but hopefully you can put it aside for a few days," Sandy said, interrupting Ryan's thoughts.

Ryan cringed. 'Falling out' didn't exactly describe it accurately. But Sandy and Kirsten didn't know the full details and he wasn't about to tell them.

"I think you should take me back to the airport. I'll just wait for the next flight back to New York. I really don't want to be around them."

Sandy sighed. This was exactly the response he'd been afraid that he'd get. It was the reason that he'd decided it was more important to forgo the concert and intercept Ryan at the airport rather than let him arrive on the doorstep and find out. He knew that Ryan would have jumped back in the cab and left.

"But what about the rest of us? It would break Sophie's heart if you weren't there for Chrismukkah."

Ryan cringed at the word. Suddenly it didn't hold the charm that it once did.

"Not to mention what it would do to Kirsten. She loves you, kid. And with you away on the other side of the country, she misses you. I sort of like to hang out with you, too, every now and then," Sandy said, the last added with a shrug of nonchalance that was totally fake.

He turned to Ryan with his best lost puppy face and Ryan had to smile. But he felt like he was stuck. He had no choice.

"Okay. But I'm not promising how long I'll stay. If it gets to be too much, then I'm outta there."

"Don't worry. Kirsten and I will run interference for you. We want you there a lot more than we want Taylor."

Ryan sighed unhappily. This was a complication that he hadn't been expecting.

"Why is she even there? Shouldn't she be with her mother or something?"

"She says her mother is in Fiji with her new boyfriend. Apparently, she and Seth have been spending some time together recently, so he asked her to join us rather than spend her holiday in the empty Berkeley dorms."

Ryan doubted it was that simple but it did sound innocent enough. Then again, he doubted that Sandy knew that Seth and Taylor spending time together was most likely time in bed. This was all very convenient for Seth, however. It allowed him to be the good guy in his parents' eyes because he was helping out a 'friend'. It also meant that he could make Ryan's holiday visit miserable. It was win win for him.

There was really nothing else for Ryan to say. He would have to wait and see how things played out. There was also a part of him that didn't want to give Seth the satisfaction of chasing Ryan away. This was his home too, and he should be able to spend his holidays there. He was going to have to try to stick this out.

--

A few days went by and things were barely manageable. Taylor's interest in Ryan was blatantly obvious, but Sandy was true to his word. He and Kirsten and even Sophie had run interference at all times, saving Ryan from her unwanted attentions, and stopping him from telling her exactly what he thought of her, which he knew would do nothing for harmony in the house. What irked him even more, but gave him added strength of will, was Seth's obvious enjoyment of Ryan's discomfit. He really didn't want to let Seth win.

He managed to talk to Summer each day, but their conversations were short and stilted. It wasn't enough anymore to talk to her over the phone. There were things that they needed to talk about and he wanted to do it face to face. They were both due back in New York on New Year's Day. She had promised that once she was there, that she'd stay until the end of the week. That would give them time to clear a few things up. Ryan was both looking forward to it and dreading it. He didn't want to risk upsetting the precarious balance that they had between them. But any time at all spent with her was better than no time. He had reached the point where he knew that he wanted to spend all his time with her, and what they'd been having just wasn't enough.

It was getting late and he'd just gotten into bed when the door opened to reveal Taylor standing there in her nightgown. She was obviously on her way to bed too.

"We need to talk," she said, moving into his room and closing the door.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"You didn't even reply to my letter."

"Why would I? I'm not interested in anything you have to say."

"You don't mean that. You're just trying to punish me because I was sleeping with Henri Michel."

"Correction. When I saw you, you definitely weren't 'sleeping'."

Taylor was getting angry with his avoidance techniques. She wanted this out with him once and for all. And the volume of her voice automatically increased along with her anger level.

"So I was fucking him! There, are you pleased? Is that what you wanted to hear? But it meant nothing."

"It meant something to me."

"Well I'm sorry. But I was just keeping myself amused. You lived on the other side of the fricking world. Did you honestly expect me to remain celibate while we were apart?"

"I was."

Taylor was surprised. But she couldn't back down now.

"Okay. But I said that I'm sorry. Isn't that enough? Can't we just go back to where we were?"

"No, we can't. I don't know why you don't understand, Taylor, but I'm not interested anymore. I actually wonder now what I ever saw in you."

Ryan couldn't make it any plainer than that. He braced himself for a cloudburst of tears or a tantrum, but instead Taylor's face broke into a huge self satisfied grin.

"You wonder what you ever saw in me?"

She undid the tie around her nightgown and opened it to reveal her naked body.

"This is what you saw in me. And you can't tell me that you're not interested in this," she said, sashaying toward the bed, a predatory sparkle in her eye.

"Get out, Taylor. I don't want it or you," Ryan said, his voice rising. He moved to the far side of the bed, away from her, in yet another attempt to get his message across.

The movement seemed to at last get through to her.

"What do you want then? I can change. I can be whatever you want. I don't have to be with other guys if you don't want me to."

"Taylor, you can do whatever you want. It doesn't matter to me."

As Ryan said it, he realised that it was true. He had no feelings left for her, except perhaps pity. Anything else had died a long time ago.

"So you don't care that I've been screwing Seth?"

She was angry now. She was offering him everything, and he wasn't willing to give an inch.

"That's your choice," Ryan said.

"It's not my choice. I'd never choose him over you," she said forcefully, her voice growing louder with each word. "He's got a pencil dick and comes in two seconds. I only slept with him to make you jealous."

"Then I'm sorry for you that you wasted your time, because for me to be jealous, I'd actually have to care about you and I …"

The door flew open and Kirsten stood there, steam almost visible coming out her ears. Obviously, in the quiet house, their voices had risen to a point where they'd carried through the walls.

"Get out!" she yelled at Taylor. "Get out now and never set foot in this house again."

"But Kiki …" Taylor started, quickly pulling her gown together to try to cover her nakedness and scrambling to pick up the tie from the floor to secure it.

"Don't Kiki me. Get out before I physically throw you out."

"But you're supposed to be on my side. You want us to get back together. Remember?"

"What I want is for my son to be happy and he could never be happy with someone like you. I'm just sorry that I hadn't realised what you were really like. Did you really sleep with Seth? Just to make Ryan jealous?"

"It's not a big deal … let me assure you," Taylor said, her tone indicating that sex with Seth wasn't memorable.

"You were dating his brother," Kirsten pointed out, her disbelief evident.

"No, I wasn't. We weren't together. Not anymore. And I'm not the bad guy here. It was Seth's idea. He told me it would make Ryan jealous."

Kirsten shook her head. She was apparently still trying to absorb all this new information.

"Just go and pack your things, and Seth will drive you back to the dorm. And don't bother coming back," Kirsten said, brooking no argument.

Taylor looked to Ryan, hoping that he would intervene on her behalf, but that wasn't going to happen. He agreed with Kirsten one hundred percent, and he couldn't pretend that he wasn't happy about Taylor's ouster.

"Remember to shut the door on your way out," he commented, barely suppressing a smile.

--


	21. Chapter 21

21.

Ryan got up late the next morning, and the house was strangely quiet. He thought that everyone was out, but when he entered the kitchen, Kirsten was sitting quietly reading the newspaper. She looked up.

"Where is everybody?" Ryan asked.

"Seth didn't come back last night. I guess that he'd stayed with Taylor. And Sandy took Sophie to her friend Georgia's to play. He'll be back shortly."

Ryan nodded and headed for the coffeepot.

"I'm so sorry," Kirsten said, looking guiltily at him.

"It's okay. You didn't know."

"But you did?" she asked.

"Yeah. Seth may have mentioned it to me."

Ryan didn't want to tell her the full details. That Seth had actually tried to blackmail him. Things were bad enough already.

Kirsten shook her head in disbelief.

"I can't believe that he'd do that to you. And as for Taylor …"

Ryan shrugged.

"I pretty much already expected it of her. I didn't tell you why we broke up in the first place but I caught her in bed with Henri Michel when I decided to surprise her in Paris. I don't think fidelity is her strong point."

Kirsten absorbed the news. No wonder Ryan had wanted nothing more to do with her.

"Maybe that's something she gets from her mother," Kirsten said, smiling. She couldn't believe how well Ryan was taking all this.

Ryan returned the smile.

"I think I got out just in time."

"I think you're right. But I still can't figure out why Seth would sleep with her when he knew that she wanted to get back with you. She made no secret of it."

Ryan was quiet for a moment, wondering if he should share what was blatantly obvious to him.

"Maybe he was just being a guy and looking for an easy …. Well, you know what I mean. But maybe her connection to me was exactly why Seth slept with her."

From the puzzled look on Kirsten's face she still wasn't on the same wave length. He was going to have to be more explicit.

"Let's face it, right now, for whatever reason, I'm not Seth's favourite person," he continued. "I think he was hoping that I did still want her and that if he slept with her it would upset me. But when he told me he'd done it and I didn't care, then he had to find some other way. So, when he discovered that I was trying to keep my distance from her, he asked her to come and stay, knowing that it would make me uncomfortable."

Kirsten considered the idea. Was her son really capable of that?

"I know he was upset when he found out about you and Summer sharing an apartment," Kirsten said thoughtfully. "Do you think that's what caused it?"

She was trying to find some excuse for Seth's behaviour.

"No. He was sleeping with Taylor before he even knew about that," Ryan explained.

He wasn't trying to get Seth in trouble, but he felt it was time that Kirsten understood just how much Seth had changed and what he would do to get what he wanted.

Kirsten didn't want to believe that Seth had stooped to such a low but the evidence was impossible to ignore.

"I think the time has come for Sandy and I to lay down the law with Seth. He can't go on like this. WE can't go on like this. His problems are affecting all of us now, and we can't wait for him to decide he needs help. We're going to have to force the issue."'

Ryan nodded his agreement. He knew that Sandy wanted that; he'd only been waiting for Kirsten to realise that they had no alternative.

"It's probably for the best. And, that being the case, I was thinking, that if I can get a flight out, I might head home today. Seth's been taking off every day to avoid me, so maybe it would be better if I wasn't here when you confront him."

"But honey, it's New Year's Eve tomorrow. I thought that you'd spend it with us."

"I know that was the original intention, but I think that it's better this way. You need to have a serious conversation with him, and me being here will only complicate things, and make it more difficult."

Kirsten thought about what he said, and knew that he was right. She felt guilty because she found herself wishing that she could ship Seth off and have Ryan stay.

"I guess you're right. It doesn't mean that we won't miss you, but…,"

"I'll miss you guys, too."

Kirsten nodded.

"Thanks. Is it okay if I use the computer in Sandy's study?" Ryan asked. He wanted to get a flight out as soon as possible … preferably before Seth re-appeared.

"Sure. Go right ahead."

Ryan was on his way out of the room when Kirsten's words stopped him in his tracks.

"Can I just ask a quick question?"

"Sure."

"When we first found out that Taylor had transferred to Berkeley, you mentioned to me that you weren't interested in her anymore. You also said that you'd found someone else, someone you liked more, but that nothing was happening."

Ryan waited for the question that he knew was coming, and felt the heat of blush warming his cheeks. He stared at her, praying that she wouldn't ask. But he should have known better.

"Was it Summer?"

Ryan stared guiltily at her, but didn't say a word.

"Oh, sweetie," Kirsten pulled him into a hug. "You poor thing. All this time … and he goes and does this to you."

"I told you it was complicated. But Summer doesn't know anything about it. And nothing has happened. We're just friends."

"Well if she ever decides that she wants to be more than friends, and you want that too, then you should go for it. Seth doesn't deserve your loyalty anymore, and it's about time that you did something for yourself."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. Don't let him or your loyalty to us stop you if it's what you really want."

--

Ryan was packing. He managed to get a seat on a flight that left at four, and Sandy was going to take him to the airport. Glancing around the room to make sure that he left nothing behind, he was startled by the ring of his cell.

He smiled when he saw who was calling.

"Hey, lil' sis."

"Hey, big bro. What's happening?"

"Right now, I'm packing. I'm heading back to New York soon."

"Today? I thought that you were going back after New Year's."

"That was the original plan but …"

"But?"

Caitlyn wondered why he was leaving early.

"We had a little incident here last night."

"What did Seth do this time?"

"It actually wasn't Seth."

That surprised her. Caitlyn had very little time for Seth and thought of him as the root of all evil.

"Okay, so spill. Don't make me drag it out of you."

"Taylor came on to me and Kirsten threw her out of the house."

"What?" Caitlyn asked in disbelief.

"You heard me."

"Since when did you need Kirsten to fight your battles? Are you going soft on me?"

Ryan laughed.

"No. I had it all under control, but Kirsten overheard a few things that made her decide that Taylor wasn't one of her favourite people."

Caitlyn chuckled.

"I can just imagine what happened. You'll have to give me all the gruesome details sometime. And Seth? Is he still sulking?

"I don't know. I haven't seen him and I'm sorta hoping that I won't. That's why I'm heading out. Sandy and Kirsten need time in private with him. Me being here seems to make things worse."

"So what are you going to do for New Year's? Any hot parties in New York to go to?"

"No. I'll probably stay home, watch TV and eat pizza."

"No way. Why don't you come here? Mom's having a big party. It would be great."

"Thanks. But I'm pretty much over Newpsie parties."

"But Summer and her Dad will be here," Caitlyn pointed out.

Ryan hesitated. He wanted to see Summer so badly. But did he want to see her with a lot of other people around? He thought about it for a moment. No. It would be better to wait a few more days so that he could talk to her alone. But did he want to wait two more days without seeing her when he could be with her in a couple of hours?

"That got your attention," Caitlyn teased, "and I would guess that it's not Dr. Roberts that sparked it."

"I don't think so, Caity. It's better if I just head home."

"Okay, we both know that your interest in Summer is more than 'friendly'…"

Ryan spoke quickly, cutting her off.

"You know that I told you that in confidence. Remember, I have a lot more dirt on you than you have on me ..."

"Yeah, okay. I know. You've got me there. But when are you going to do something about it? The girl's hot."

"I've noticed," Ryan replied. He didn't need anyone pointing it out to him.

"Well, she's not going to wait around forever. I know that you have this strange sense of loyalty to Seth, but why you bother I have no idea. He doesn't deserve it."

Ryan smiled. It seemed that Kirsten and Caitlyn were in agreement.

"You'll be pleased to know that I've reconsidered that situation. I know that you thought that my loyalty to Seth was misplaced, but it wasn't just to him, it was to Sandy and Kirsten too. But Kirsten's assured me that they have no problem with me going after what I want, and well … you know what that is."

"Yay, Atwood. I didn't know you had it in you."

"I'm not sure I do. She's been avoiding me and I don't know why. But I do need to talk to her and it's probably better if we talk alone. So I'll just head home and wait for her."

"Don't sound like you're going to the gallows. She'd be crazy to turn you down. Hell, if you weren't my sorta brother, then I'd …"

"Don't even say it. I warn you."

Caitlyn chuckled.

"But you're hot."

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that."

Caitlyn laughed. She really hoped that things would work out for him. He deserved to be happy, and if Summer was the one, it was fine with her. Better than fine.

"So I really can't talk you into stopping by Newport?"

"Not this time. So listen, I have to go. Sandy's waiting to take me to the airport."

"Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow when you're back in New York."

"K. Sounds good."

--

Summer was having breakfast with her father. It was New Year's Eve morning, but she already knew that she wasn't going to be up for celebrating later on. She was worried. She hadn't heard from Ryan yesterday, and she couldn't help but wonder why. In desperation, she'd tried calling him, but his cell was turned off. She knew that things between them were strained, but she still looked forward to hearing from him every day.

Why hadn't he called? Was her plan to keep her distance backfiring on her? Maybe he'd found someone else. A guy like that wouldn't have any problem attracting the opposite sex. She'd seen his mojo at work. Hell, she'd fallen for it.

Neil noted his pretty daughter's frown.

"So what's troubling you?"

Summer looked up, surprised.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about this party tonight. I'm not sure that I want to go."

"But what else are we going to do? It's New Years Eve."

"I know. I just don't think that I'd be very much fun. But you should go."

"I'm not going to leave you on your own on New Year's Eve."

"It's really just another night, dad, and I'm going home in the morning. I should probably use the time to pack."

Neil was surprised by her choice of words. He'd never heard her refer to New York as 'home' before. He wondered what had brought on the change. Maybe Ryan?

"You have plenty of time to pack; you've had plenty of practice. You can do it in ten minutes if you want to."

Summer sighed.

"I'm just not up for it, Dad. I don't feel like getting all dressed up just to talk to Newpsies and fight off the paws of a few drunken trust fund babies. Could you apologise to Julie for me, tell her I'm not feeling well."

"Uh uh. I'm not doing you're dirty work for you. If you're not going, you need to call her yourself," Neil informed her.

He hoped that she'd change her mind and come along. He didn't want her sitting alone, mooning over Ryan, and he was pretty sure that's what she would do if she was left to her own devices.

--

Summer took a deep breath and dialed the number. She didn't want to lie, but she just didn't have it in her to face the Newpsies tonight.

"Crazy House," Caitlyn answered as one of the caterers walked by.

Summer smiled.

"Hey Caity, it's just me."

"Hey Sum, how's things?"

"Um, not so good actually. I was wondering if your mom was there."

"No she's at the hairdressers getting beautiful for tonight."

"Oh. Well, then could you give her a message for me?"

"Sure. Fire away."

"Can you tell her that I won't be coming this evening? I'm not feeling up to it."

"But you have to come. You can't leave me here with all these old people."

"I'm sure there'll be plenty of people to keep you amused. You can always dance with the Bullitt."

"A girl can only do that just so many times, you know. So did you get a better offer? And if you did, can I come too?"

"No. It's nothing like that. I just don't feel up to partying."

"You're as bad as Ryan."

Summer perked up immediately at the mention of his name.

"What do you mean?"

"When I spoke to him yesterday, I tried to get him to come to the party, but he wouldn't."

"But he's in Berkeley."

"Not anymore he isn't. He's back in New York. He was leaving for the airport when I spoke to him."

"But he wasn't supposed to head home until tomorrow."

"I think there was a big blow up at the Cohens, and he decided to let them deal on their own. Said he was going to eat pizza and watch TV. What sort of celebration is that?"

Just the sort I'd like, Summer thought, wondering what had happened to cause him to head home early.

"So Ryan's back in New York?"

"Uh huh."

Caitlyn smiled to herself. She wanted to give this girl a much needed push in the right direction, but she wasn't sure how.

"It seems a pity for a guy as hot as that to be sitting all alone on New Years."

Summer couldn't agree more, but what could she do about it? She certainly didn't want him out on the town without her.

"You know, if you got a flight in the next couple of hours, you'd be home in time to celebrate with him."

"What makes you think that he'd want me there?" Summer asked dejectedly. He'd spoken to Caitlyn yesterday, but not her. Why?

"Oh, for crying out loud. The guy wants you. Bad. You have to know that. If you don't take him up on the offer, you're not the person I thought you were."

Summer was stunned.

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. But if you repeat one word of it to Ryan, I'll have to kill you."

"What did he tell you?"

"Oh no. I can't tell you that. I've said too much already. He's probably gonna kill me."

"Caity, please. My whole future depends on this. You said if I don't take him up on the offer. What offer? He's never made me an offer."

All Summer could think about was her 'sex without strings' offer. Had Ryan changed his mind about that?

"He's going to. He got the green light from Kirsten to go ahead. But he's shit scared because you've been avoiding him. He's worried that he missed his chance."

Summer didn't know what to think. Could this really be true?

"So? Has he missed his chance?" Caitlyn pushed. "I should warn you that, yes, you're my friend, but if you hurt him, you'll have the combined wrath of the Cooper women to deal with."

"I'd never hurt him," Summer admitted softly.

"Then I'm thinking that you should hightail it back to the East Coast pronto. You know, they say you should start your year the way you want to spend it. If you like him, you should be with him."

"Thanks Caity. I'll never be able to repay you."

"Sure you will. I'll be a bridesmaid."

Summer could feel herself blush, but she had to admit, it sounded nice.

"You're on."

--


	22. Chapter 22

**22.**

Summer spent the whole flight home wondering how to approach him, then worrying as to how it would play out. She kept running possible scenarios through her head. She was still having trouble just comprehending the fact that he liked her. According to Caitlyn, he really liked her.

There were so many mixed messages over the last few months. There were times when she thought he liked her, but then there were other times when he pulled back, so she convinced herself that he didn't. There were even times when she was sure that he was still interested in Taylor.

But talking to Caitlyn had cinched it for her. Caitlyn confirmed that he did like her, and that he was only holding back all this time because of his sense of loyalty to the Cohen's. If that was the case, and as Caitlyn said, he really had their blessing now, then she planned on taking them from zero to a hundred in the quickest time possible. But how was she to make that happen? They had so much to talk about and yet talking wasn't what was uppermost in her mind. Just thinking about the possibilities had her blood racing and there was a tingling and wetness between her legs that she hadn't felt in a long while. She was glad that the taxi had vinyl seats.

She glanced at her watch as she let herself in the building. It was 11:50 pm. She made it. Now they could celebrate the New Year together. She had tried for an earlier flight, but it wasn't meant to be. At least she was finally here. Now she just had to keep her fingers crossed that he hadn't changed his mind and gone out with friends. She so hoped he was there. She'd hate to think that her mad dash across the country had been all in vain.

She turned the key and opened the door into the apartment, her heart bursting with anticipation. But it was all in darkness. Her heart sank. He must have gone out after all. She wondered if she should try calling him; she could go meet him somewhere. They would miss New Year's, but at least she'd be able to see him.

She moved dejectedly through the living room to her bedroom, only to find Ryan sound asleep in her bed. She smiled as she noticed that he was on her side of the bed and from the looks of the undisturbed blanket and sheets on the other side, he had started out there. She knew how much she'd enjoyed sleeping in his bed when he was away. It had somehow made her feel closer to him, and it looked like maybe he felt the same way.

She hesitated for a moment wondering whether she should let him sleep, but then decided that they'd wasted enough time already. She rationalized that since he was on her side of the bed, he'd have to learn to share. Quickly shedding her clothes, she slipped between the sheets and moved over towards him, but once she got close, she faltered. Now that she was this close, she hesitated trying to decide just how to wake him.

She glanced at the clock. Eleven fifty-five. Caity's words rang in her ear; to spend New Year's as she intended to spend her year. She had five minutes and she wanted to be a whole lot closer to him before midnight. She leaned over him and used her tongue to gently outline his lips, arousing herself with the slight contact. She pulled back as Ryan twitched, using his hand to swipe at his mouth.

She waited until he settled down and did it again, but this time used a little more pressure, taking her time she slowly worked her tongue between his lips into the warmth inside.

Ryan made a small moaning noise and then jumped, startled.

"What?"

"It's just me," Summer said. She moved in to kiss him again, but took it a step further as her tongue moved into the moist sweetness of his mouth. This time his tongue was awake and waiting and eager to join hers.

Ryan wondered for a minute if he was dreaming but if he was, then he didn't want to wake up.

Summer realized that his eyes were closed, but he seemed eager to continue. He opened his mouth further as if to consume her. She was equally as urgent in her actions, moving her hand beneath his wife beater and pushing it high, obviously wanting it off.

Ryan finally shook off the remnants of his sleep, and realizing her intentions, quickly cooperated. He sat up and pulled the offending garment over his head and tossed it on the floor. Turning back to her, now completely awake, he saw her for the first time – totally naked and bathed in moonlight.

"Summer. I ..." he started, but stopped. He was totally captivated by her beauty. Words deserted him.

"I can't believe that I'm saying this… to you of all people… but don't say anything," she whispered softly. "We'll have plenty of time to talk later. We've waited long enough. Right now I just want this. I want YOU," she said as clearly as she could.

She moved her hand to the waistband of his boxers, making her intentions obvious. He followed her lead and raised his hips off the bed to allow her to pull them down, any thought of slowing things down now completely forgotten. She fumbled a few times in her attempt to get his boxers past his already large erection. Now that he was being cooperative, she seemed to be all thumbs. Once they were disposed of, he pulled her toward him. She readily complied, moving to sit astride him, her hands running over his bare chest, his skin smooth and taut over the well defined muscles of his torso. She'd waited so long to touch him like this; she wanted to savor every moment.

Ryan had one hand on her butt, the other cupping a breast in his hand. He played with the pert bud between his thumb and forefinger as they kissed, tweaking the nipple to hardness, then dipped his head to take it into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and sucking on it until he heard the whimpers coming from deep in her throat. He moved his attention to the other breast while using his free hand to finger her folds. They were swollen and slick with her juices.

Summer glanced at the clock. 11:58.

"I want you inside me….right now," she demanded breathlessly.

Ryan didn't understand the rush, but he wasn't about to say no. Still, he hesitated.

"Condom?" he asked.

"I'm on the pill and I got tested after Seth."

"I got tested after Taylor," he assured her.

That was all she needed to hear. She raised herself up and positioned herself over his hardness, gently lowering herself onto his plentiful girth. He filled her completely, and she marvelled at the sensation of finally having him inside her. She took it slowly, moving herself up and down, trying to adjust to his size. His presence inside her was hitting spots that she didn't even know she had, and she knew that her climax would not be long in coming. It was better than she could ever have imagined; and she had imagined what it would be like - all the way from Newport.

Ryan couldn't believe how quickly things were moving. He didn't understand why or how it was happening, but he had wanted it so badly and for so long, he wasn't going to question it. It WAS happening. He wasn't dreaming. And the feel of her was better than anyone he'd ever been with. Maybe it was because it had been so long since he'd been with anyone - or maybe it was because he'd wanted her for so long – or maybe it was because not wearing a condom seemed to heighten his arousal. But he knew for sure that if she kept this up, he wouldn't last for long. She was tight and hot and wet and every movement she made, he saw stars. This was Summer and he finally was where he had wanted to be; buried deep inside her.

Summer was lost; the sensations of riding him more powerful than anything she'd ever felt before. She felt the tremors starting deep inside her and knew that she was losing control.

Ryan was holding her hips, trying to guide her. He moved his hips in synch with hers, wanting to meet each downward thrust of hers with an upward one of his own, but he couldn't go on for much longer. He could feel his balls begin to tighten and he knew that his release was imminent. He moved one hand to rub her sensitive bud, hoping that it might help her catch up with him and it was all she needed.

The fireworks began.

They both held onto one another as one final thrust sent them both to their ultimate release. They held one another as they trembled with the force of the aftershock. The fireworks outside were nothing compared to those inside the room.

Summer collapsed on top of Ryan, her head on his chest. They were both completely spent. The fireworks and commotion continued on the streets outside.

Minutes passed. There was no noise between them except their labored breathing as they both came back to earth.

Eventually, Summer managed to speak.

"Happy New Year."

Ryan smiled and gently placed his hand on her head, holding her gently to him.

"Happy New Year to you too," he replied.

She sighed.

"I think that I'm going to like this year."

Ryan didn't really want to talk. But he knew that she was looking for a response.

"And why's that?" Ryan asked, even though he knew what she meant. He already agreed with her.

"Caitlyn said that I should spend New Year's the way that I want to spend my year. I figure that means that I get to do this a lot."

"Is that why you were in so much of a hurry?" Now Summer's haste made sense to him.

"Uh huh. Any complaints?"

"None here. Feel free to wake me up like that anytime."

"You might come to regret that statement."

"I don't think so."

"You probably won't get much sleep."

"Well, if I lose a night or two every now and then for something like this, it'll be totally worth it."

"But what if it was every night?" Summer asked. "Would you be able to put up with me if I was here all the time? Or most of it?"

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked. What was she getting at?

"I've been offered a promotion. It would keep me here in the city most of the time. I asked them for time over the holidays to think about it."

"Are you serious? Is that my present? That you're staying? That would be the best present ever. But why did you even have to think about it?" Ryan asked incredulously. The thought of having Summer with him; here, like this, was more than he would have dared wish for.

"Because I wasn't sure what was happening between us, and I didn't trust myself around you … not if you wanted things to remain platonic," Summer admitted shyly.

Ryan was surprised by her show of insecurity. So he decided she needed some reassurance. He'd never been good with words but maybe actions spoke louder. He rolled her over onto her back and rested himself in the cradle of her hips. His dick had reawakened and was nudging at her opening.

"See what you do to me? Does that feel platonic?"

"No. That feels wonderful," Summer replied, guiding him back inside her.

Ryan took a moment to try to calm down.

"You know I can't talk to you when you do that."

"That's okay. We'll have plenty of time to talk later."

--


	23. Chapter 23

**23**

Summer woke to the first rays of morning light streaming in through the skylight. She was nestled in Ryan's arms; his naked body spooned around hers.

They'd made love several more times during the night after the first fast and furious coupling. Each subsequent time was slower and more caring than the one before, but equally as satisfying. Ryan took his time, bringing her to heights she hadn't known existed. She was almost embarrassed at the degree to which she had lost control on more than one occasion.

He was a kind and considerate lover, but she knew he was a kind and considerate person; it was why she had fallen for him in the first place. She'd never felt more treasured in her life.

His lips nibbled her shoulder and she smiled as he proceeded along her neck, his erection nudging at her from behind. She rolled over in his arms and was struck by the wave of affection that hit her like a tidal wave. He was now her lover, but he was so much more.

"Good morning," he greeted softly, his blue eyes sparkling.

"It is a good morning," she agreed as he pulled her into his arms to kiss her deeply.

When they finally came up for air, Ryan took a moment to really look at her, drinking in her bed tousled hair, her lips swollen with kisses, her jaw line pink from the scratch of his beard. She looked well and truly ravished and he was actually proud that he was responsible for it. She'd never been more beautiful in his eyes.

"So…what would you like to do today?" he asked. He'd move mountains for her if it was what she wanted.

Summer thought for a moment.

"One option is to stay right here with you, but I guess we have all the time in the world for that now. So I think the first thing we should do is move all your stuff back into this room. I don't ever want you sleeping in the other room again."

"I think that we can manage that," Ryan said. He knew that she'd never been happy about him changing rooms.

"You know," Ryan confessed, "the only reason I did it was because I wasn't sure that I could trust myself to not touch you if I kept sharing your bed."

Summer smiled. So he had at least some feelings for her ever since the first few weeks. That was good to know. It hadn't been all one sided as she'd sometimes feared.

"And I was so unhappy because I was hoping that if we were sharing a bed, that I could make a move on you and get you interested in the idea… you know … of us as more than just friends," she explained.

"I was always interested. I just needed to clear it with Sandy and Kirsten first. I owe them so much."

"I thought that maybe it was Seth holding you back."

"I guess it was at the beginning. But he's destroyed any loyalty that I felt for him," Ryan said regretfully.

"But…you know what? I don't want to talk about the Cohen's right now," he continued. "I'd rather talk some more about this interest that I have for you. In fact …"

He began tracing a line with his lips from her shoulder to her neck, then down to her breast. Taking the pert nipple between his lips and sucking it had Summer thinking of nothing else except what he could do to her with his lips … and his tongue … and his dick. It seemed to take only the smallest move from him to have her wanting him again. And want him she did, badly.

Ryan's lips moved further south and Summer was surprised to feel her resistance melt away. She'd always been hesitant when it came to oral with Seth, feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious, but with Ryan she was positively eager. She wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe it was purely because of his skill. He could have her teetering on the edge of climax so quickly she was almost embarrassed. But it was more than that. She enjoyed doing it to him as well. The satisfaction that came from being able to make him lose control was almost as good.

"One more time and then we exchange Christmas gifts," she stated, her words melting in a fog of lust as his mouth closed over her nub and his fingers slid inside her. She buried her hands in his hair and gave herself up to him completely.

--

"You know we could go out for breakfast," Ryan suggested as they both ransacked the kitchen looking for something to eat. The place had been empty since Christmas, so there wasn't much there. Thankfully they both took their coffee black, so that might have to tide them over.

"Uh uh. We'd have to get dressed for that and I like you just as you are," Summer replied lustfully, soaking in the sight of him bare-chested with nothing but a towel wrapped low around his hips.

Ryan pulled her into his arms. She also had a towel wrapped around her, but it was driving him insane. He wanted her again. The time in the shower had done nothing to dampen his appetite.

Summer was all smiles. Whatever she'd imagined that being with Ryan would be like – this was so much better.

"Again?" she asked.

"Maybe? If I can talk you into it," he offered tentatively. He didn't want to push his luck, but she was like an addiction.

"You do have a way with words," Summer commented, grinning at the ridiculousness of the statement, especially with his history of verbal communication. But then he didn't need words. All it took was one look from him and she wanted it, too.

"What choice do I have?" she added as she pulled the towel from his hips.

Ryan returned the favour and pulled her towel away, leaving her totally naked, then he lifted her up to sit on the counter.

"No bed this time?" she asked.

"I like to be adventurous," he said, grinning.

Summer quirked her eyebrows at him. Life with him was never going to be boring.

"That's the excuse you used in the shower," she pointed out.

"Do I need an excuse?" he asked, his hands moving over her.

Her body filled with sensations that made talking almost impossible. She couldn't believe how she could be ready for him in moments. All he had to do was look at her 'that' way and she was wet.

She shook her head and pulled him towards her, guiding him between her folds. She watched with fascination as his length disappeared inside her, then she hooked her legs around him to hold him tightly to her. Their mouths met and their tongues began to dance as Ryan began to move his hips. She lost herself again to the feeling of him buried deep inside her.

--

Summer had just emerged from the bathroom after her second shower. She picked Ryan's wife beater up off the floor, and was just pulling it over her head when Ryan's phone started to ring. He'd gone to the store to get some bagels and had obviously forgotten it. But she wasn't sure if she should answer it. Glancing at the screen, she was even more unsure. She'd always avoided answering any of his calls before, because no one in Berkeley knew of their living arrangement, but now it was all out in the open. And if she didn't answer, they might worry and she didn't want that. She hadn't spoken to any of them since the divorce, and wasn't sure what sort of reaction she'd get. But she was with Ryan now and they were going to have to learn to accept it.

Hesitantly she opened the phone and put it to her ear.

"Hello?" Summer answered nervously.

"Who's that?" Kirsten queried, not expecting a female to answer.

For a moment she thought that she'd called the wrong number, but that wasn't possible. He was on speed dial.

"It's Summer. Ryan went to pick up bagels. He didn't take his phone," Summer said, the explanation running on after the greeting. She didn't want them to think this was something that she usually did.

Kirsten could sense the younger girl's hesitation and felt badly, since she knew that her and Sandy were at least partially responsible for it.

"Summer, hi. It's Kirsten," she said, hoping to put the other girl at ease.

"Hi, Kirsten."

"I called to wish him a Happy New Year. And you too," she added for good measure. "I hope the two of you had a good time. Did you go to Times Square?"

"No. I didn't get back from Newport until just before midnight and Ryan was already asleep."

"Asleep? I feel so guilty. He should have been here celebrating with us, but Seth made that too difficult for him. I hate to think of him welcoming in the New Year alone."

"You don't need to worry. I woke him up in time," Summer replied.

She was glad that this wasn't a webcam conversation. Kirsten would have noticed her blush for sure as she replayed in her mind just how she'd woken him.

"That's good to hear. It's important to welcome in the New Year."

"We did that," Summer said, hoping that Kirsten would move on and change the subject. She didn't want to have to answer any more questions about their private celebration.

"So do you have anything planned for the day?" Kirsten said, attempting polite conversation.

Now that she knew that Ryan's interest in Summer was more than just 'friendly', she wondered if she could give them a push in the right direction.

"Not really. We thought we'd wait and see what the weather does. It's snowing here right now."

Kirsten was pleased with Summer's use of the word we. It sounded like whatever they did, it would be together. Surely that had to be a good sign.

"Aw. That sounds so nice. We always intended to have a family snow holiday, but we never got around to it. Then before we knew it, the boys were gone."

As soon as she said the words, she realised how quickly things had changed.

Summer could hear the wistful lilt in Kirsten's voice.

"Nothing stays the same for long, that's for sure," Summer agreed, thinking about how much her own life had changed in the last few years.

"That makes it all the more important to hold on to the things that are important to you," Kirsten urged, wondering if Summer was getting her message. "And to the people that are important to you."

Summer considered Kirsten's words. Was this some thinly veiled hint that she should keep in contact with Seth? Because that was never going to happen.

"Seth hurt me too much …" she started, wanting to make that crystal clear, only to be cut off.

"I don't expect you to have anything to do with Seth. But since your roommate is my other son …" Kirsten started, then stopped abruptly. She wasn't sure what she could say, and yet she wanted to say something.

Summer was still confused about Kirsten's intent.

Kirsten decided to start again.

"I'm guessing that he's okay as a roommate? He was never any trouble when he was with us."

"Ryan's … the best," Summer answered. It was the only thing she could think of. And he was the best … at everything.

Kirsten smiled. The tone of Summer's few words told her more than the actual words themselves.

"He is the best. You should hang on to him." Kirsten advised.

"I intend to," Summer replied.

Kirsten smiled. It sounded like they were on the right path and that's all she wanted… for both of them. It was time that Ryan put his own happiness first and stopped worrying about the Cohen's. She wasn't sure exactly when things had changed, from them looking out for him to the other way around. But she knew that he'd been looking out for them for way too long. They could and would take care of themselves.

--

After breakfast, Ryan and Summer finished finding a home for all of his stuff in the walk-in closet. Looking around the room and admiring their handiwork, Summer couldn't help but be pleased. It was as much his room as hers now and she was thrilled. It was the first real sign that they were in a relationship. A serious relationship.

"Now that that's done, I think that we should exchange our Christmas gifts," she suggested.

Ryan frowned.

"What? You don't like that idea?" she asked.

"No. It's okay. It's just that if I'd known that this is where we were headed, I would have gotten you something else. But things were so messed up before Christmas, I didn't know what to get you, and what I ended up with isn't very romantic," Ryan explained.

"That's okay. What I got for you isn't romantic either."

"But mine's worse than that. I bought myself the same thing that I got for you."

"That's okay. So did I," Summer replied.

They both looked at one another and laughed, thinking they may have gotten the same thing for each other. Quite the coincidence.

"You didn't buy Thai cooking classes, did you?" Ryan asked.

Summer's face broke into a huge smile.

"No, I didn't. But that's a great idea. And we can take them together?" she asked excitedly, almost as if it was too good to be true.

"That was the plan."

"Yippee," Summer replied, dancing around him with glee.

Ryan laughed, pleased that she seemed to like the idea.

"I figured I'd make you spend more time with me, since you had been avoiding me. This way you'd have no choice."

Summer stopped her little dance, wanting to explain.

"I wasn't avoiding you, I just didn't trust myself around you, and I also wanted to give you some space to sort things through. I still hoped that you liked me, but after you turned down my offer of sex, I wasn't sure what else I could do."

"That was the hardest thing I've ever done, saying no to you. You have no idea how much I wanted you. Want you," he corrected, knowing that future tense would be more accurate now.

"You need to make it up to me," Summer teased.

""I'll do my best," Ryan replied. "But if you didn't get me cooking classes then what did you get?" Ryan asked.

"Ice skates. I figure that we can learn to skate together."

Ryan grimaced.

"I'm not so sure about that. I have all the grace of a wounded duck. Don't you remember my dancing skills?"

Summer laughed.

"Ah, but there's a method to my madness. First, it's something that we can do together. Now just imagine, if we try it and end up falling down a lot, it only makes sense that we'll need to come home and soak in the Jacuzzi. And since there's only one tub …"

"We'll have to soak together?" Ryan supplied.

"Uh huh," Summer said, smiling at his reaction.

"I'm liking the idea more and more," Ryan responded, embracing her.

"I thought you might."

"You know, we could just skip the lesson today and head straight to the Jacuzzi," Ryan suggested as he ran his hands up and down her body.

"It IS cold and nasty outside," Summer agreed.

"And I do have a bottle of champagne on ice," Ryan pointed out.

"Do you now? What for?"

"I was hoping when you returned from Newport, after we talked? That we might have a reason to celebrate."

"And …?"

"And I think that we do."

"I agree. We do. Don't you think it's funny that we both had the same idea for our gifts? We both chose things that would give us more time together," Summer observed.

"Hmmm. Speaking of spending more time together …" Ryan started, walking her backwards towards the bed, and lightly nudging her onto it.

"You know, we should change the sheets," Summer pointed out. "We've given them quite a work out."

"Yeah, I know," Ryan said, "but I think that they're good for one more time," he suggested, his eyes scanning her body as he spoke. She was wearing his wife beater from last night and a tiny g-string. His eyes ran up her legs and he could feel his erection grow in his sweats to stand proud. One look at her scantily clad was all it took.

Summer noticed. She knew he was going commando, since she'd demanded it when he dressed for the store. So she pulled them down gently but urgently, then reached up to pull off his t-shirt. She dispensed with them both hastily by tossing them to the floor, then lay back on the bed only to be leapt upon, his hands pulling off her g-string and ridding her of his wifebeater.

"Or maybe two …" Summer asked, her voice indicating assent.

"Or three … " he answered definitively.

--


	24. Epilogue

_A/N: I had considered taking this further but there seems to be little interest so this is it for this one. Thanks again to the few who took the time to let me know that they were reading._

**Epilogue**

"You have got to be kidding me," Ryan exclaimed as his butt hit the ice yet again. "This is supposed to be fun?" he questioned.

"I'm having fun," Summer pointed out.

"Watching me fall on my ass," he added.

"No. Just watching your ass. Why do you think I always rode BEHIND you on my bike?"

Ryan smiled.

"Well, I have to confess, that's why I pretended sometimes that I couldn't keep up and had to follow you. You do have a particularly attractive derriere," he pointed out.

"Is that so?" Summer asked pertly.

"You know you do. I'd even bet that you were wiggling it in my direction deliberately trying to break down my resistance. And it nearly worked."

Summer raised her eyebrows but said nothing in reply, leaving him to draw his own conclusions.

"Can you please help me up? I can't even get up without falling down again," he commented, obviously frustrated.

"Poor baby," Summer replied as she reached down and helped him up to his very wobbly feet again.

"So, how come you're so good at this?"

"Well …. I may have omitted that I have done it before. But I didn't think it really counted. For a few years after my mother left, my dad didn't like to spend Christmas at home; too many memories. I guess. So we'd pack up and go to Aspen, and he got me some lessons. But that was a long time ago, so I thought I'd be starting over. But I guess it's like riding a bike. Once you can do it …"

Ryan stood shakily, trying to stay put in an attempt to keep himself from falling again.

"You know, if I could trust myself to move, then I'd make you pay for this. But I need your help me get back to terra firma."

"You are such a beach babe," Summer commented.

She took his hand and pulled him back to the edge of the ice so that he could hold onto the surrounding wall.

"Can we go home now?" he asked forlornly. But there was a twinkle in his eye that hinted that the whinge wasn't genuine. "I'm sure that I have enough bruises by now. I think I've earned a long soak in the tub."

"But I don't have any bruises. Maybe I should let you have the tub to yourself."

"Oh no, you don't. Maybe I should give you a few bruises so that you can join me or better yet, since you're responsible for my pain, you should be responsible for my pleasure."

"And how would I do that?" she asked, her walnut eyes a picture of innocence, but she was anything but, and Ryan knew that.

"You know that lovely derriere of yours we were discussing?"

"Uh huh."

Ryan's voice grew husky and dropped down a tone as he glanced around to make sure that no one was within earshot.

"I think that you should let me take a closer look at it. Somewhere with a little more privacy, like maybe our bedroom," he suggested.

'Our' bedroom, she liked the sound of that. She could feel her cheeks flush as a myriad of ideas formed in her head. Hell … she liked the sound of anything that he propositioned.

"And you just want to look at it?" she baited.

"Nooo," he said slowly, indicating that there was more.

"I want to bend you over the bed …"

Ryan spoke slowly, letting each and every word paint its own picture.

"… and take you from behind … until you scream out my name as you lose control."

Summer could feel the dampness between her legs almost immediately. It gave the word squee a whole new meaning.

"Okay. We'll go. You talked me into it. But we're not giving up. We'll keep coming back until you get the hang of it."

"All I want right now is to keep you coming. I intend to get the hang of that."

--

It was several hours later, and Ryan and Summer were entwined in the bed; the bath and Ryan's promise of keeping her coming achieved. They lay, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking.

"It's been quite a day," Summer pointed out as she yawned and stretched. Her body was sore but in the best possible way. He'd given her quite a workout.

"Yes, it has. If this is what the New Year's gonna bring, then all I can say is 'Bring it on'."

She chuckled her agreement.

"So is this going to work? Me being here all the time? Or are you going to get tired of me?" she questioned doubtfully. Things seemed almost too good to be true.

"I can't imagine ever getting tired of you. But 'tired out by you'? Maybe."

"So you're okay with it?"

He was touched that she was still unsure, but she didn't need to be.

"I'm better than okay. I think it's great."

"But when you agreed to move in here, you didn't know this would be part of it."

"True. But maybe I hoped that it would," he admitted.

"Really?"

"Really."

Summer wasn't expecting that answer. She was curious – did he really think they might get together? Even back then?

"When did you think that maybe …" she faded off, not exactly sure how to ask.

"What?" Ryan asked, waiting for her to continue.

Summer shrugged.

"Well, I know that I was attracted to you from the first time I saw you. I just wondered when you decided that maybe you saw me as more than just Seth's long suffering partner."

"The first time I laid eyes on you, at that fashion show, I thought that you were the hottest thing that I'd ever seen," Ryan admitted.

"But you rejected me that night at Holly's party, without us even having said two words," Summer responded. "Why?"

"I had no other choice," Ryan explained. "You have to understand what things were like for me then. I'd spent Thursday night in juvie. Then on Friday my mom and her guy of the month threw me out because I pissed them off. I had nowhere to go. I called Sandy in desperation, and he said he'd put me up for the weekend."

"I'd spent a good part of Saturday hearing about you from Seth," he continued, "and I was convinced that you couldn't possibly be as beautiful as he described. But you were. You were breathtaking. But I couldn't let it matter to me. You were untouchable as far as I was concerned. If I'd pissed off Seth or the Cohen's, then I could have ended up on the streets again. I might have looked tough, but that was just a front. I was a scared kid. And that's why I couldn't afford to let myself want you. It was pure self-preservation."

"But you were into Marissa."

"Sure I was attracted to Marissa. She accepted me for who I was. She and Seth were the only two people who didn't treat me like I was some sort of lower life form. If I remember correctly, when you found out where I was from, you lost interest pretty quickly."

Summer felt guilty. She didn't like to think about how shallow she'd been back then.

"Only that first night at the party. You have to understand that I had a reputation to uphold. But I knew there was something there. I really wanted you to be my partner for cotillion. I was so angry with Marissa when she gave you to Anna. She knew how much I wanted to be with you."

"It was probably for the best. I can just imagine what Seth would have been like. You were all he talked about back then. But that doesn't mean that I didn't spend a few sleepless nights thinking about you."

"Why, Ryan Atwood, who would have thought?"

Ryan smiled. He was glad that he'd opened up to her.

Summer sighed.

"So if Seth had had a crush on Marissa instead of me, we could have started this so much sooner."

Ryan laughed.

"Yeah. But I can't imagine Seth taking on Luke to fight for Marissa."

"I can't see Seth taking on anyone. He's too much of a coward."

"Well, he's with Taylor now. Good luck to them. I'm honestly not sure who I feel sorrier for."

"It is a toughie," Summer agreed. "Maybe we should just say that they are well matched and leave it at that."

"K. Sounds good."

"I wonder what the family on the West Coast are going to think when they hear about us," Summer mused.

"If you'd asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said that they'd be shocked, but from what a little birdie tells me, we were actually being set up."

"Set up? By who?" Summer asked, surprised.

"Your dad and Julie. Caitlyn tells me that they have been hoping that we'd hook up from the very first day I moved in."

"Well, I was willing, but one of us took a while getting to it."

"Don't worry, the idea was there, front and center. It caused me more than a few sleepless nights. I just had a few 'issues' to deal with," Ryan pointed out. "And not just with Seth. I was worried about Kirsten and Sandy, too."

"I think that Kirsten is going to be okay with it. She was a little strange on the phone earlier, but I think she was trying to tell me that it would be okay with her if we got together."

"She already told me that. Right before I left Berkeley."

"Do you think that we should wait a while to tell them about the change of status of our relationship?"

Ryan thought for a moment.

"What would we be waiting for?"

"I don't know. To get to know one another. You might change your mind," Summer suggested. She felt like she was living a dream and she was scared that something would happen to spoil it.

"That's not going to happen. I mean, we've talked enough and spent enough time together over the last few months to know that there aren't going to be any surprises. I already know all your bad habits and you know mine. The only thing we didn't know was whether we were sexually compatible and I think that we've cleared that one up over the last 24 hours."

"Mmm. We have. It's been fun."

"Fun?" Ryan queried. After what had taken place since they returned from the ice rink, he thought that 'fun' was not quite the right word.

"Mind blowing fun? Is that better?" Summer asked, recalling the multiple orgasms she'd been the recipient of.

He smiled.

"Much. But **you** could still change your mind," he pointed out.

"Uh uh. You're stuck with me."

"Well, if we've both decided that we're not going anywhere, then we should probably tell them."

"But how? And who do we tell first?"

"What do you mean? Is there some sort of correct etiquette when revealing stuff like this?"

"I don't really know. It's a first for me too. But I'm sure that Caity will expect to be first."

"She probably deserves to be. She did get you to fly home early. That was one of the best ideas ever."

"Hmm. True. But I don't think my dad will be too happy if he finds out that I didn't tell him first."

"And I guess that Sandy and Kirsten deserve to know right from the start."

"And what are we going to say? We can't just call them and say 'things have changed - we're sleeping together now'. That doesn't seem right."

"Hmmm. I see what you mean."

Summer entwined her fingers through his.

"We have our first problem to solve together."

Ryan thought for a moment.

"I have an idea."

--

Caitlyn sat at her desk chatting to some friends on Facebook when it happened.

She quickly called out to her mother.

"Mom. Come here."

"Caitlyn. Don't yell like that. You sound like a fishwife. Plus you'll wake up Jake," Julie yelled back even louder.

"But mom, you're gonna wanna see this," Caitlyn insisted, yelling back again.

Julie sighed. She stopped cleaning up from dinner, dried her hands, then headed to Caitlyn's room, pausing in the doorway.

"What is it?"

"Look," Caitlyn said, pointing at her computer screen. Julie moved closer to see what had her daughter behaving so strangely.

--

Neil was going over some case notes for a patient that was having surgery tomorrow when it popped up.

He read the message and a smile beamed across his face.

So the old dog still had a few tricks up his sleeve.

--

Sandy was catching up with some paperwork in his office when the email arrived.

He read it with interest, then went to find Kirsten.

She was sitting on the sofa reading.

"We just got an email from New York."

"From Ryan? What does he have to say? I tried to call him earlier, but he was out at the store. Is everything okay?" Kirsten asked, instantly concerned.

Ryan wasn't big on email. Hell, he wasn't exactly a communicator on any front, so it was strange to hear from him when they'd only seen him a couple of days ago.

"Everything's okay," Sandy stated calmly, hoping to assuage Kirsten's worry. "But I think that you should go read it for yourself."

Kirsten looked askew at her husband. What could Ryan have said? She was curious now, so she got up and walked into the office and over to the computer.

She quickly read the few words on the screen. But then what had she expected, Ryan was never one to overembellish. But he got his message across just the same. Her face broke into a large grin.

The email was addressed to

The Cohens;The Coopers;Dr Neil Roberts.

It read:

_Happy New Year to all our extended family. Please note the change of email address for future communications._

--

"So what does it mean?" Julie asked, turning to Caitlyn.

"It means that they are no longer Ryan AND Summer. They're now ryanandsummer – a single unit. It also means that you'd better start saving. I think I'm going to need a bridesmaid's dress before too long."

--


End file.
